Fear
by csiphile
Summary: **FINAL CHAPTER, COMPLETE** When Sara is stalked, can anyone help her? G/S Please R&R!!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile  
  
Rating: PG13 for now, it WILL change and I will mark it when it does.  
  
Category: G/S RST, Angst Summary: Will a stalker destroy the tenuous relationship Grissom and Sara have started?  
  
Disclaimers: Sigh.look, I don't own em. Don't sue me; all I have is a computer that works half the time and a really big mortgage. Archive: Wherever your heart desires, just please let me know. Of course G&S.   
  
  
  
Notes: Words of wisdom, don't try to get into a stalkers head, its not a good idea, they are strange, unpleasant people who are really not forthcoming with information about how their brains work. Especially when you realize that your obsession with a television show probably borders on a psychological problem. Heh. This not a case file fic, exactly, so any cases they work on are only there to forward the story, if you don't hear anything else about said case, assume its been solved. Its better that way, otherwise this would be way longer then it already is. The name of the stalker is borrowed from a (relatively) famous sports personality. If you can guess who he is.. well I don't have anything to give you, didn't you read the disclaimer? Ok, I will be really impressed, how's that?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He stands watching the activity with throngs of other people; there has been a murder in one of the upscale apartments a mere four blocks from his small house. He is talking to an older lady next to him when he sees her for the first time. She is walking out of the apartment, followed closely behind by two men approximately her age. He is immediately transfixed by her, her long brown hair blowing in the dry Vegas air, the way she turns to the shorter of the men and tries not to laugh at something he just said, the smooth way she walks. Moving closer to the front of the crowd he strains to hear the conversation between them.   
  
"Nicky, you're an idiot sometimes you know that? That has to be the stupidest joke I have ever heard in my life." She says with a smile.   
  
The younger man returns her smile, "Yeah, but Sara, you laughed. I saw you."   
  
He follows them through the crowd until he is standing a few feet to the side of the LVPD issued Tahoe. "Sara, what a beautiful name." he thinks and goes back to listening to the conversation.   
  
'Really Nick, not the point, I laughed at the stupidity." She says with a semi-serious face and places her kit carefully in the back of the Tahoe. Shrugging off her blue jacket with FORENSICS stenciled on the back in yellow, Sara quickly scans the crowd; it is a habit that Grissom has taught her. Starting at the opposite end of the crowd and moving to the couple stragglers closer to her, she gives a brief glace to every face, but stopping and looking at the young man who seemed to be staring at her. Sara stares back for a moment before something about the look he is giving her makes her uncomfortable.   
  
"Sara, hey Sara. Ready?" Warrick asks from the front seat as he closes the door.   
  
"Uh, yeah. Lets go." She says and gets into the back of the truck, closing the door but not before giving the young man once last glance. He is still staring at her with an odd expression on his face and it causes the hairs on her neck to stand up.   
  
He watches her drive away a sudden emptiness in his heart. He now knows what love at first sight is, he didn't even have to talk to her to know she is the one for him. He isn't sure how to find her again, but is determined to do it.  
  
Sara tries to shake off the uncomfortable feeling the entire way back to the lab, but is wholly unsuccessful. Taking the prints she lifted back to the print lab, Sara works in silence. The unease she had been feeling slowly lifts as she falls into her normal work rhythm. Working quickly Sara transfers the print into AFIS and waits for the results. With her back to the door Sara is unaware of the other person that enters the room.   
  
Grissom watches her unnoticed as she rolls her neck to loosen the tightness that had settled in while she had been collecting evidence earlier that night. Taking a quiet step forward, Grissom thinks about the young woman in front of him. Lately they have started a tentative personal relationship, kept separate from work. Not one to do anything the normal way, especially where Sara is concerned, he has never taken her on an official date. Grissom had recently taken Sara to the body farm, after much pleading from her, but usually they went to his townhouse and just enjoyed each other's company. Moving even closer to her, Grissom is surprised when she turns and looks at him; he didn't think he had made any noise.  
  
"Hey Gris." she says brightly.  
  
"Hey. How did you know I was even here?" he asks, curious.  
  
Her eyes dart off to the side momentarily and then return to his. "I don't know. I just knew you were standing there." She shrugs at the end of the sentence.  
  
Grissom considers this for a moment then continues, "You guys get anything?"  
  
"Couple prints, they're running now. Nick got a footprint and Warrick found some blood on the door leading out; think the suspect was injured at some point. He's running that now with Greg."  
  
"Very good." he says and then leans into her, talking in a low voice so only she can hear if anyone walks in. "You coming over after work? I may have something of interest for you."  
  
Sara raises one eyebrow at him. "No, I can't today, I have a pile of errands to run and if I don't do laundry, it's not going to be pretty. Will whatever you have hold until tomorrow?" She smiles conspiratorially at him with the last sentence.  
  
"Yeah, no problem. It can wait." he replies and lightly grasps her should with his hand, giving it a light squeeze. They had agreed weeks ago to keep their budding relationship to themselves, allow nothing to seep into the work environment. Every once in a while though, they will touch or stand in each other's personal space a little longer than necessary. These small gestures, however, never occur with an audience, only when they are alone. Grissom is especially conscientious of this and has stopped himself more than once from doing something that could be construed as inappropriate.  
  
"Ok, plan on a visit tomorrow." She smiles as the computer beeps behind her, indicating a match. "Yes, Danny Alder. Oh, he has a file; a big one too. Talk to you later Grissom; I'm off to Records."  
  
"Okay." is all he gets out before the tornado that is Sara with a lead is up from the chair and out the door.  
  
Several hours, and one cranky Greg Sanders later, Sara and Warrick have confirmation from CODIS that Danny Alder was the bleeder on the door. Writing up their warrant, Sara finds herself briefly thinking about the strange man at the crime scene that night. The look he was giving her is enough to still creep her out, even now in the safety of the lab. She can't really define what had bothered her so much, probably it was nothing, but she can't shake the feeling that he had been sizing her up. Sara is used to men looking at her - it happens all the time - but this is different, this look had been more menacing. A voice from the door startles her and Sara jumps almost off the stool.  
  
"You almost done with that?" Warrick asks and watches as Sara starts from his voice and almost falls flat on her ass. Moving closer, Warrick notices the odd look on her face. "Dang girl, you are wound tight tonight. What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing. You just startled me, War. I was concentrating on the warrant, which, yes, I am almost done with." She recovers and gives him a small smile. Sara isn't even sure where the reaction came from herself.  
  
"Concentrating on a warrant? Yeah, okay Sara." he says, the disbelieving tone evident in his voice. "Brass is looking for it though, so I would concentrate a bit harder."  
  
"Fine, fine. I will be done in a minute and will hand deliver it to him. Ok?" She says to his retreating form and receives a nod in response.  
  
Shaking her head, Sara finishes up the warrant, quickly signs it and goes in search for Brass. Twenty minutes later she is back in the labs, thankful that it's time to go home and that no other cases have managed to come through at the last minute. She hadn't been lying to Grissom earlier; she needs to do laundry badly and grocery shopping is at the top of her list before she heads home. Finding Grissom in his office, Sara walks in and says goodbye.  
  
Grissom looks around her to be sure no one is walking by and responds in a low tone, "Hey Sara. You sure you're not interested in what I have to show you?" He really means it literally, but as soon as it comes out of his mouth, Grissom knows he is in trouble.  
  
Giving him a seductive look, Sara replies, "Why, yes I am interested in what you have to show me, but not tonight." 'Grissom may play the game' she thinks, 'but I play harder.' Smiling at the look on his face Sara, continues the torture. "Remember, I have to do laundry, its that or I come in naked, and while you may enjoy that, no one else will. Have a good night Gris." She says and laughs as she walks out the door.  
  
Grissom stares at the empty space she just vacated, wondering what the hell happened. Somehow she took a perfectly innocent question and warped it into something else, but that's part of the reason he enjoys being around her. She makes him see things differently.  
  
Sara hates grocery shopping, almost as much as shopping for clothes. Unfortunately at this point it isn't an option; her entire fridge consists of orange juice, cheese, and something unidentifiable. She needs the basics at least to survive; take out Chinese doesn't cut it everyday. Quickly making her way through the store, Sara doesn't notice someone quietly following her.  
  
He cant believe it when he sees her again, his prayers of seeing her again have been answered, he has been thinking about her all night. He has been thinking about her all night. She is perfect, everything he is looking for in a woman, she must be smart to work in forensics, funny, and beautiful. 'It must be fate' he thinks and carefully shadows her movements through the store. He is fascinated by everything about her and is now more determined than ever to be with her. When she gets to the produce department he hangs back a bit, not wanting to be seen just yet; it isn't the right time, the moment isn't perfect. He is watching her every move when suddenly she looks up and scans the few patrons in the store, a look of confusion on her face.  
  
Looking up, Sara get a feeling that she is being watched, but scanning the store she sees no one looking at her. 'But they will soon if you don't get a grip, Sidle.' she thinks to herself and speedily completes her shopping. The feeling that someone is watching her, however, doesn't fade until she is out in the parking lot and safely in her Tahoe. Sitting in the imposing vehicle, Sara thinks about her strange encounter earlier that evening and decides that just has her on edge and her feeling the store is just a manifestation of her unease. Shaking her head and laughing out loud at herself, Sara easily navigates the streets of Vegas, not giving another thought to the man or her feelings.  
  
tbc......... 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Fear  
  
Author: Survivor  
  
Rating: PG still.but keep checking  
  
  
  
Walking into the lab the several weeks later, Sara stops by Grissom's office on the way to the break room. Stepping in front of his desk, Sara stares at the older man, who is engrossed in a journal and is either ignoring her or isn't aware she is standing there. Watching him silently for a moment, Sara realizes how much she truly cares for this man. She wouldn't call it love, not yet. On the other hand, for what other reason do you move one state over, leaving your job and your life when one person calls and asks. She wouldn't have done it for anyone else, not even her parents. Maybe that is love, she thinks and decides to leave the discussion with herself for later.  
  
Clearing her throat, Sara is rewarded by Grissom looking at her and smiling. "Hey boss. Anything good tonight?" she says and tries not to smile. Sara gets no small amount of joy from ribbing Grissom about his supervisor status over her; calling him boss is just one of the ways she does. He rank above her is a serious problem for their personal relationship, but she just can't help herself sometimes.  
  
Raising one eyebrow at her, Grissom chooses to ignore the joke, "You will find out along with everyone else. Get everyone in the break room, will you?"  
  
"Sure." She smiles at him and heads out the door, but Grissom's voice calls her back.  
  
"Oh and Sara? You call me that again and you'll get stuck working all the easy cases. Are we clear?" While the serious expression on his face remains, Sara can see the smile hiding in his eyes.  
  
"Yeah. Perfectly clear, Grissom." She emphasizes the 'Grissom' and leaves to gather the rest of the team.  
  
Arriving at the break room, Grissom dispenses with the niceties. The criminals of Las Vegas have decided to come out of the woodwork and keep the team busy for the night.  
  
"Okay We're going to be stretched a little thin tonight. We have three minors and one homicide. So Catherine, Warrick, and Nick you each get one of the minors." Handing out the slips, Grissom gets a strange look from Catherine when he gets to her. "Sara and I will take the homicide. Cath, when you are done with yours, please join us. That's it guys, let's get to it." he says and leaves the room after looking at Sara and having a conversation without even speaking to her.  
  
"You know Sara, that just keeps getting weirder." Nick says and shakes his head.  
  
"What gets weirder?" She looks at him with an annoyed expression.  
  
"That thing you do with Grissom. You two have an entire conversation without even talking to each other. It's a little weird." he says with a smile. The entire team has become aware of the increasingly close relationship between the two.  
  
Staring at the man she considers the younger brother she never had, despite the fact he is four weeks older than her, Sara considers what he said. She never really noticed that they did it. With Grissom everything just came so easily to her; they worked well together.  
  
"I.I don't know what to tell you Nicky. Why don't you just go to your." Looking down and reading his assignment in mere seconds upside down, Sara continues, ".robbery at the Monte Carlo, and not worry about it." She finishes with a smile and leaves to collect her kit and jacket.  
  
Nick turns to the others with an astonished look on his face. Turning the sheet around and reading it as Sara did, Nick scrunches his nose in annoyance, "How did she do that? It looks like gibberish upside down."  
  
"Man, I have long since stopped trying to figure her out." Warrick smiles at Nick and pats his back on the way out, trying hard along with Catherine not to laugh at their younger counterpart.  
  
Grabbing her field kit and light jacket, Sara meets Grissom out at the Tahoe. He is talking on the phone to someone but as soon as he sees her, quickly ends the call and closes the cell.  
  
"Something interesting?" she asks, indicating the call.  
  
"Nope. Just Eck reminding me about some paperwork" He gets into the drivers side of the vehicle, waiting for her to get in and close the door before starting it. Before he can put it in gear, however, a warm hand on his wrist stops him. After several seconds she speaks.  
  
"Hmmm. you talked to Ecklie and your blood pressure didn't go up. You're getting better at dealing with him I see," she says and lets her fingers linger on his arm before removing them and fastening her seatbelt.  
  
"Yeah. Something like that." He pulls the Tahoe out of the lot.  
  
The ride to the crime scene is spent in almost complete, though comfortable, silence. Grissom has been debating asking her something all day, but isn't sure how to approach her about it. Looking over at her, Grissom is rewarded with a smile that reveals the gap between Sara's front teeth. "The direct approach is probably best." he thinks and before he can rethink himself, does just that.  
  
"I want to take you somewhere." he says quickly.  
  
"You are taking me somewhere Grissom. To a crime scene." She looks at him, honestly confused at his statement.  
  
"No. I mean, off hours. We both have a long weekend starting on the 2nd. I thought we could go somewhere. You haven't been on a vacation since you came to Vegas, and I thought you could use one."  
  
Stunned, Sara initially doesn't know what to say. This is a side of Grissom that is new to her, but it's a good side. "Grissom, wow. I would love to go...where are we going?"  
  
"Let's leave that a surprise. I'll let you know what to pack." He smiles at her before turning back to the road.  
  
"A surprise? Well, sure. I would love to." She looks at him again but is only met by his profile. She thought she knew everything about Gil Grissom; apparently she was wrong.  
  
Arriving at the crime scene, Sara looks around at the crowd of bystanders. "Man, there are a lot of people here already. What's going on? This is just a homicide, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I don't know," Grissom says, also wondering about the unusual amount of people. While this is a high priced section of Summerland, he didn't think anyone of any fame lived here.  
  
Getting out of the vehicle, Grissom and Sara find Brass and inquire about the gathering.  
  
"Well, as it turns out, you two got a popular case. The deceased are Mr. and Mrs. Jack and Leighanne Malloy, presidents of the homeowners association. Their daughter Annaliese came home from a date and found them; the father in the upstairs hallway and the mother in bed."  
  
"Okay Sara, you talk to the daughter now, the best memories are fresh. I'll start the walk through." Getting a nod from Sara, Grissom enters the house.  
  
Sara walks over to the girl that by her estimation is maybe 15 or 16. She can't imagine coming home and finding both her parents dead. While Sara doesn't have much of a relationship with her parents, at least she still has them. Sara sits next to her on the curb in front of the house.  
  
"Annaliese? Hi, my name is Sara Sidle. I'm with the crime lab. I realize this is hard for you, but can you tell me what happened?"  
  
"I came home from my date. I was only gone maybe two and a half hours, that's all. I walked in the door and called to my Dad; he is usually up late, night owl. When he wasn't downstairs, I walked up and found him in the hallway. I.I didn't know what to do, so I ran into his study and called 911. I couldn't save him, I didn't know CPR, I didn't do anything." By now the girl is shaking violently and Sara recognizes the early stages of shock. Calling over to a paramedic, Sara gets the girl a blanket and wraps her in it. Sara wraps her arms around the girl's slim shoulders and rubs her arms. When the shaking doesn't stop, Sara carefully guides Annaliese over to the ambulance to be checked out.  
  
"You did the best thing, Annaliese. It will be okay. I will find who did this. Ok?" She is ready to cry from the anguish on the girl's face, and receiving a small nod, Sara smiles and turns away. Leaving the girl with the EMS worker, Sara goes in search of Grissom; she is determined to fulfill her promise.   
  
  
  
He watches her comfort the young woman and smiles with pride. In his mind, he places Sara Sidle on a pedestal far above anyone else. She is the ultimate woman and can do no wrong in his eyes, and once she meets him, she will be his.  
  
  
  
Just over an hour later they emerge from the house, laden with bags of collected evidence. Sara walks in front of Grissom and carefully places her bags in the boxes at the back of the Tahoe. Helping Grissom with his, Sara doesn't hear the small voice calling out to her until one of the officers hollers at her.  
  
"Hey Sidle. The young lady wants to talk to you."  
  
"Thanks." She smiles at the officer as she walks past him to the back of the ambulance where Annaliese is still sitting.  
  
Sidle, her last name is Sidle. Sara Sidle, what a beautiful name.  
  
"Why haven't they taken you to the hospital yet?" she asks tersely, looking at the EMT as she says it. Looking at the girl, Sara notices that she seems to be better, not shaking, and she has sloughed off the blanket.  
  
"I don't want to go yet. Plus there have been all kinds of questions from the police. But I forgot to tell them something. The front door was locked when I came home, which is odd cause usually Daddy leaves the door unlocked if I'm out."  
  
"Okay, thanks Annaliese, that helps a lot. Will you go to the hospital so they can check you out now please?" Sara asks, concern for the young woman evident on her face.  
  
"Yes. Thank you Miss Sidle." She follows the EMT into the ambulance. Banging on the doors, Sara indicates they are secure and the driver pulls away, giving her a clearer view of the crowd that has gathered. Sighing, Sara starts to walk back to the Tahoe and Grissom. Reaching her destination, she gets into the vehicle and looks at Grissom in the driver's seat.  
  
"That poor girl. I hate these kind of cases," she says. Grissom touches her bare upper arm and lightly rubs, giving her reassurance without saying a word. She smiles at him and rests her head on the headrest, closing her eyes briefly to focus on the evidence that they had collected and not the emotions that are threatening to take over.  
  
He watches her leave and smiles broadly to himself. Watching her comfort that girl made him even surer that Sara Sidle is the one for him. Her compassion for the victim makes him love her even more, though they have never met. He is planning on changing that soon. As one of the officers who had been watching the perimeter walks by he gets the man's attention.  
  
"Excuse me. The crime scene people? Where is their office?" he asks innocently.  
  
The officer regards him for a moment but sees no harm done in telling him; it's a matter of public record anyway. "They share a building with the PD. The Forensics lab is in the back."  
  
"Okay. Thank you." He walks off, debating how to introduce himself to the love of his life.  
  
  
  
tbc.... 


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Fear  
  
Rating: Call it a strong PG13 for well.. you'll find out!  
  
Same disclaimers, ect.  
  
After spending over an hour in autopsy and learning both the victims where killed with a .22 and died instantly, Grissom and Sara spend the rest of their shift sorting through the evidence they'd collected; organizing by location and potential importance. Halfway through the process, Catherine shows up, having completed all she can on her case. By the end of shift, the three have sent to trace and DNA what they can.  
  
"Ok guys, this is a lot of stuff to go through. Lets call it a night and come back fresh. Hopefully by tonight most of the stuff we sent out will be processed and back." He looks at the women and receives two nods of acknowledgement.  
  
"See you guys tomorrow," Catherine says and leaves the room, giving a sly smile to them both on the way out.  
  
Grissom and Sara just look at each other and shrug. They have been trying to separate work and home but it is becoming increasingly difficult to hide from trained investigators what's going on. Their colleagues are becoming suspicious of everything they do. While the past weeks have drawn them closer together, the farthest they have gotten is hand holding, neither wanting to move to fast and destroy the friendship they already enjoy.  
  
"You still planning on coming over this morning? I have an interesting article on Post Mortem Entomological Studies you might want to read."  
  
She has been trying to learn more about entomology, mostly because of Grissom, but partly due to her need to learn about everything she can. "Yeah. I can always use a good article on Post Mortem bugs. I'll meet you there in.let's say half an hour. I'll bring some coffee. That stuff you have at your house is not coffee, I don't care what you say."  
  
"Sure. See you then." He smiles and watches the brunette walks down the hall. He doesn't know how he would ever live without her.  
  
Sitting in one of Grissom's more comfortable chairs in the living room, Sara keeps stealing what she thinks are unnoticed looks at the man sitting on the couch with a case file spread on the table in front of him. She has long since finished reading the entomology article and has moved onto a book. 'God, he is everything to me, and how sexy are those eyes? Man, what I wouldn't give to.' She cuts off the thought; they had agreed to take this very slow. When Grissom suddenly puts his pen down loudly, she knows she is busted.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asks in a mock serious tone.  
  
"Huh?" She looks up innocently at him.  
  
Looking into her bright brown eyes, Grissom almost forgets what he is talking about. "Why do you keep staring at me like that? Like I'm dinner or something. I can't work with you doing that." It is true, he can't concentrate on the case file he is reading with her looking at him like, well, like she wants to jump him right there.  
  
"Sorry," is all she says, enjoying what she is doing to him.  
  
He eyes her across the room and can't seem to concentrate on the next thought; he is distracted by her. Running his eyes over her he admires the only person he wants in his life. He is distracted by the sheen of the gloss on her perfectly formed lips, the shine in her hair from the sunlight coming through the window; what her skin must feel like right where her slim neck meets the collarbone. 'Cut it out Gil. Slow, you agreed to take this slow not..what is she doing?' Watching Sara run her tongue over her lips is almost his undoing. Looking up at her eyes, he finds that she isn't even looking at him anymore; she has gone back to reading the book in her lap. Shaking his head, Grissom goes back to sorting through the file, unaware that Sara knows exactly what she is doing and she'd done it to mess with him.  
  
One frustrating hour later, Grissom is no closer to solving the cold case than he had been before he'd started. Sighing, he gives one quick glance the to brunette still seated in the chair reading and closes his eyes and rests his head on the cushion of the couch; at some point during the hour, he had positioned himself sitting on the floor. Rubbing his temples, Grissom's eyes shoot open when he hears a noise in front of him. Sara has moved from the chair and is currently sitting opposite him on the floor, looking at the papers and photos upside down.  
  
"Nothing?" she asks with a concerned tone. This is a case he often goes back to when they aren't busy. A murderer is walking the streets of Vegas and Grissom has no proof to bring him down. For five long years this case has sat in his open files, taunting him.  
  
"No. There never is. I look at this file once every six months or so, but there never is anything new. Maybe I should give up."  
  
Sara turns some of the pictures around. She has seen them before, but they never fail to shock her. The poor woman had literally been ripped to pieces, stabbed 120 times. It was a rage killing for sure, but Grissom had never been able to catch the killer. Before she can really look at the photo, Grissom gently pulls it away from her fingers, placing it in the file with the others. He doesn't want to look at it anymore.  
  
Looking up at him, Sara smiles and covers his hand with her own small one. As she entwins her fingers with his, Grissom smiles for the first time in over an hour and notices that the look on her face from earlier has returned. 'Oh this can't be good,' he thinks. Watching her, Grissom is surprised when she gets up on her knees and leans across the table, placing her mouth right next to his ear, her warm breath stirring all kinds of thoughts.  
  
"No need to give up Gris. Good things come to those who wait," she whispers and leans back enough so they are now facing each other, their faces mere inches apart. Grissom takes the hand not entwined with hers and runs it along her arm, over her shoulder and lingers on her collarbone a moment, relishing the feeling of her cool soft skin, before tracing the line of her neck, coming to a stop on her cheek.  
  
"Really?" he says, his tone low and dangerous. Grissom is sure he knows where this is heading, but isn't sure if the timing is right.  
  
"Oh yeah," she responds and licks her lips again, looking him straight in the eyes, searching for a sign that says to stop. Finding none, Sara leans into him making contact with her lips on his. Sara feels the kiss all the way to her toes; her whole world being rocked by one moment of time. One kiss that has been almost ten years in the making, neither one of them have felt anything like it. Both know they have crossed that invisible line, but by crossing the line, they have entered into something bigger then both of them. Pulling apart for air, Grissom and Sara stare at each other, almost unsure what comes next.  
  
"Sara." he starts slowly but is quieted by her finger on his lips.  
  
"Shhh Gris. Don't overanalyze, don't even think. What does your heart tell you?" she says in barely a whisper.  
  
Looking in her eyes, Grissom sees the want and decides to listen to his heart for once. "That you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. That you are the only person in my life I have ever cared for this much. Without you, I am not whole, I can't imagine a life if you're not in it."  
  
Sara just stares at him; she doesn't know what to say. No one has ever said that to her, nothing even close. In that moment, Sara knows she loves him and she can't live without him. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Sara leans into his hand that is still making contact with her cheek.  
  
"I.Grissom, I don't know what to say." Before she can finish her thought, however, Grissom has leaned into her again, kissing her fiercely, his now free hands running through the soft tresses of her hair. Tired of having the glass edge of the coffee table in her midsection, Sara breaks physical contact but keeps her eyes on his. Moving around the table, she kneels next to Grissom and slides the table into the middle of the room. Turning back to him, he sees the need in her eyes. Missing the feel of her lips on his, Grissom quickly remedies the situation by kneeling in front of her, grabbing her around the waist and pressing his body into hers. Kissing her deeply, Grissom doesn't hear his phone, then shortly thereafter, pager, go off until Sara stops and looks around annoyed.  
  
"What?" He kisses her neck near her ear, all the while holding her hips.  
  
"I think I just heard your phone." As if on cue, his home phone rings and he sighs, resting his forehead on her shoulder.  
  
"Gris, you should get that. It sounds important," she says regretfully, not wanting to stop what they started, but at the same time someone is desperately trying to get a hold of him.  
  
"Yeah," he says annoyed and gets up, trailing his fingers along her shoulder before straightening.  
  
Catching the phone on the last ring, Grissom barks into the phone. "Hello."  
  
Sara watches as the person on the other end talks and he listens, the expression on his face going from merely annoyed to angry. Deciding to keep busy, she gathers the contents of the file Grissom was reviewing earlier, puts them back into order, and carefully places them into the protective cover.  
  
"No Mobley I do that.. What? Do you think I am stupid? Why on earth would he jeopardize a case? I have a copy of those results in my office..No it's locked. Crap. Fine I will be there in 15 minutes, you better be there..I'm cranky because you are bothering me with something as trivial as a missing lab report... Fine. Goodbye." Grissom turns to look at Sara, who is now sitting on the couch, staring at him with a wistful expression.  
  
"Let me guess. You have to leave?"  
  
"Yeah. I am so sorry, Sara. They think Nicky lost the lab reports on the Vogel case on purpose. Luckily I have a copy, in my locked office. They need them for court today." He walks over to her and sits on the couch beside her.  
  
She smiles at him. "It's okay Gris. I understand, really. Its fine, go. I should head home anyway, get some sleep before shift."  
  
"Ok, but you don't have to leave, you can stay here." He says and puts his shoes on.  
  
"No, I don't have a change of clothes here anyway and without you here, nothing interests me." She smiles mischievously at him. "We can continue this later."  
  
"All right. Sara, I am sorry again. I'll see you tonight." He leans over and kisses her. "Lock up behind you. There is a spare key on the island; take it with you."  
  
"Okay, see you tonight. Don't worry Grissom, it's fine, I understand." He looks at her stunned, how does she know what he is thinking?  
  
Shortly after he leaves, Sara cleans up the living room, putting the coffee table back to its original position and grabbing the file he left sitting on it. Grabbing his key, Sara heads home, showers and falls into a dreamless sleep, unaware that the next evening will threaten everything she has.  
  
tbc........ 


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile  
  
Rating: Still PG13  
  
Notes: Yeah, the first three chapters were kinda boring, but I had to get to the good stuff somehow! Remember I told you to enjoy the blissfully clueless geeks? Hope you did, cause it gets ugly here on in. Thanks to those on the boards who reviewed!! I appreciate it!  
  
Also, I know this is a short chapter...some nice reviews might get you another one tomorrow. Kid I kid.mostly..heh!  
  
  
  
Walking into the building and signing in, Sara is surprised when one of the guards calls to her.  
  
"Sara."  
  
Sara turns to see one of the guards walking toward her. She rattles her brain to remember the large man's name. John Phillips, that was it.  
  
"Hey, John. Something wrong?" she asks. Normally the guards don't talk to any of them unless there is a problem.  
  
"No, not at all. You received a delivery this afternoon and we signed for it, hang on a second." He bends down behind the front desk. Coming up with a large flower arrangement, Sara is stunned; she has never seen anything quite like it. It is an arrangement flowers, beautiful pink and purple lilies with some greenery in a clear vase.  
  
"You sure these are for me and not Catherine?" she asks and searches for the card buried deep in the flowers. Receiving no real answer, Sara thinks about the possibilities. She knows Cath has been seeing someone new lately and is sure there is a mistake. Grissom knows better than to send her flowers at work. Finally finding the card, Sara is surprised to see her name printed neatly on the front. Scrunching her nose in confusion, Sara flips the envelope over and pulls out the card.  
  
Sara,  
  
Sorry about last night. I'll try better next time.  
  
Me  
  
Sara suppresses a smile and thanks the guard, picking up her flowers and carrying them into the labs with her.  
  
He watches her from outside the building, the flowers had been delivered a while ago and he has been waiting for her to show up since. Following her as far as he could without being seen and actually going in the building, he stands just outside the large glass doors so he can see her, but not be obvious. He is too afraid to meet her, just the thought makes him nervous, he wants the moment to be perfect when she sees him, so she cant say no to him. He observes the large smile on her face from his partially hidden location when she reads the card. He is responsible for that beautiful smile of hers that reveals the gap in her teeth. Smiling he turns and heads back to the truck, his confidence buoyed, maybe he will introduce himself sooner than he expected.  
  
Dropping them in the lunchroom, Sara grabs the card and heads for Grissom's office. Finding him sitting there, she regards him quietly from the door. He is a remarkable man; she has gone from nearly quitting months ago to never wanting to leave his side again. They have connected on a level Sara didn't even know could exist between two people, they share something incredible; she never wants to lose that. But she can't believe he would be so bold as to send flowers to her at work; he has to know what kind of uproar that will start with the other members of the team. She will be answering questions the rest of the night, probably the rest of the week.  
  
"Hey, you get whatever Mobley needed?" she finally asks, getting his attention.  
  
"Hey, yeah I did. That man is an idiot sometimes." He shakes his head and looks at her closely. His expression is odd. "You look like the cat that ate the canary."  
  
"Thank you." is all she says.  
  
He looks up at her, confused. "For what?"  
  
"You know what."  
  
"No, I really don't, but I would love to know what has you in such a good mood." He smiles at her.  
  
"Come on Gris, there isn't anyone around. The flowers, thank you."  
  
"Flowers?" The confused look on his face initially makes her angry, but she realizes he may not want to say anything in the open here.  
  
"Yeah. Don't worry about it, we will talk later." She smiles and leaves the room.  
  
He watches her leave and is utterly confused; he really hadn't sent her any flowers.  
  
Walking into the break room to hand out assignments, Grissom is met by the subject of his earlier confusion. Sitting on the counter is a large vase filled with flowers, beautiful ones, ones he wishes he had sent. For a moment he is concerned, but brushes the thought away and hands out assignments. For the most part the team has permanent partners; Nick and Warrick, Catherine usually works alone or rotates between groups, and then Grissom and Sara. It had happened almost by accident, and they had realized that having a regular person to work with often made investigations go smoothly and quickly.  
  
"Come on Sar, cough it up. Who sent them?" This came from Nicky, the only one brave enough give Sara a nickname and stick with it, and after some initial annoyance, she has become used to the name. Nick is the only person who uses it though; Greg had attempted once and regretted it.  
  
"You know, Nicky, that's none of your business." she says and starts to follow Grissom out of the room.  
  
"Oh you're killing me. Where's the card?" he says and is disappointed when she waves it from the door.  
  
"Sorry Nicky, that's for me to know and you not to." Laughing, she leaves the room and catches up with Grissom, who is headed to the Tahoe.  
  
Saying nothing, the two enter the vehicle and hit the road, off to their 465, a robbery. Waiting until she can't anymore, Sara looks at him.  
  
"So seriously, thank you. You didn't have to. I know you didn't want to say anything in the labs."  
  
"Sara, listen, I didn't send the them. Someone put my name on the card." he says, beginning to get concerned about who would send her flowers.  
  
"Actually, your name isn't on the card. I just assumed they were from you." she says, her voice shaking a bit. At this revelation, Grissom pulls the Tahoe off to the side of the road and looks at her in the quickly waning Las Vegas dusk.  
  
"Wait a minute. What does the card say?" he asks and is floored when she reads it too him. "Sara, I would never lie to you, I am telling you I didn't send them."  
  
She looks at him, confusion with a bit of fear covering her face. "Then who did?"  
  
"I don't know. We'll find out after we process the crime scene. Maybe it's someone you helped."  
  
"But Gris, the card."  
  
"I know, Sara. We will figure it out though." After receiving a quiet nod, Grissom pulls back onto the road, hoping that there is a logical explanation for this.  
  
  
  
tbc............ 


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Fear Ch 5  
  
Author: csiphile/Stepf  
  
Rating: Holding strong at PG13  
  
Disclaimers/Summary: See the first chapter.  
  
Notes: Ok guys. Here is a nice long chapter for you! At long last the meeting, I am sure you have been sitting on pins and needles for it! Thank you so much everyone for the reviews, they rock and so do all of you! Glad to see some non-G/Sers enjoying it also! It a creepy fic for the whole group.  
  
Yet again, the name of the stalker was borrowed from a (relatively) famous sports personality. No infringement intended, nor am I implying he is a stalker, I don't even know the man, I am sure he is very nice. If you want a hint, I am located in Michigan; therefore he plays for one of my 4 teams. If you could care less whom I borrowed the name from, that's fine too. Enjoy!!!!  
  
  
  
Neither one of them seem to focus on the crime scene that night. They do their jobs to perfection as one would expect from the two, but they each have the same thing on their minds; a vase filled with what appear to be innocuous flowers, but what are really symbols for something more sinister.  
  
After they are completed, Sara walks over to Brass, who is speaking to one of the officers to let him know they are leaving and should have something for him soon. It is a relatively simple robbery; Grissom had assigned this to them because they are still working the murder from last night. Prints and photographs of the scene have been taken, and really that is all they can do.  
  
"Thanks Sara, I'll catch up to you at the station." She waves and walks away from the detective, lost in her thoughts, when someone calling her name gets her attention. Assuming its Brass, Sara turns to him, but he isn't there anymore. Furrowing her brow, Sara shakes her head and starts back to the Tahoe when again her name wafts over the noise of the crowd. This time looking at the small gathering to her left behind a line of crime scene tape, Sara scans for anyone she knows. Seeing no one, Sara is more confused then before until a man waving his hand catches her attention. Tilting her head in confusion and curiosity, Sara steps closer to the man, who is smiling broadly at her. Getting within arm's reach, she looks the man over. He is attractive, in his late 30s probably, a bit taller than Sara but easily outweighing her by 100 pounds. His ice blue eyes are in stark contrast to dark brown almost black hair; the effect is initially mesmerizing.  
  
"Yes? Can I help you?" she asks politely; anyone can be a witness to the crime.  
  
"You are even more beautiful than I imagined. I mean, you are pretty far away, but this close you are just.beautiful." he stammers, almost not believing she is standing in front of him.  
  
"Excuse me?" she says and starts to take a step back.  
  
"I..I'm sorry Sara. Did you get them?" he asks quickly. He doesn't want his Sara to walk away mad.  
  
Sara isn't sure what the man is talking about when a sudden moment of clarity hits her. "The flowers? Do you mean the lilies?"  
  
"Yes. They are your favorite, aren't they? I picked them myself. I want to say sorry for not talking to you last night at the other crime scene, that was wrong of me. You were so kind to that young girl, not that I would expect anything less from you." He stops and stares at her. Something in the stare triggers a memory for Sara.  
  
"Yes, well, thank you very much for the flowers, they are lovely, but you really didn't have to." This is the man she had seen so many weeks ago at the 419 with Warrick and Nick. The realization of what that means almost makes Sara sick to her stomach. How many of her crime scenes has he been to since then? How long has he been watching her?  
  
"No, no I did. You deserved them. That's what men are supposed to do, send women flowers."  
  
"I suppose. How did you know I was even here?"  
  
"Scanner. I bought one to keep track of your cases, so I could be here."  
  
Not liking the turn the conversation is taking, Sara decides to get as far away from this man as possible; it is obvious even to her that he is unstable at best. "Well look, I'm at work and need to go. Thanks for the flowers, please don't send them again, it's really unnecessary." Sara tries to be nice to him by letting him down easy. Normally she wouldn't be so tactful, but she doesn't see the wisdom in that approach. As she is walking away, the investigator in her takes over and she turns back. "I'm sorry, you know my name, but I don't know yours."  
  
"Oh, of course. Joey, Joey Harrington." he says with a huge smile.  
  
"Ok Joey. Also, you need to stop coming to crime scenes. If the investigators see you all the time, they are going to think you are involved in the crimes. Okay? Sara hopes this will dissuade the man a bit if he can't see her in the field at work.  
  
"Sure, anything you say Sara."  
  
She nods at him and turns back to the Tahoe, a bit more shaken up about the encounter than she would like to admit. It's not everyday you find out someone has been watching you for weeks and you didn't even know it. Sara feels weird, like her privacy has been invaded, though she gets the impression he has only seen her at work, not at home, which eases her mind somewhat. Hopefully asking him not to come to scenes and not send flowers will stop whatever infatuation he seems her have with her.  
  
'When she said my name, it was like we were meant to be' Joey thought to himself and walked away from the scene in a daze. He had just met the object of his affections. He understands she can't talk at work they will have plenty of time later to discuss their future, because the only future he imagines is with her.  
  
Sara gets into the Tahoe and silently puts her seatbelt on, staring at the dashboard as if it has the solutions to all of life's problems. Grissom notices her mood but assumes it's due to the flowers sent by an anonymous someone. Halfway back to the lab, Sara breaks the silence in the car, startling him.  
  
"I know who sent the flowers." Her tone is indescribable to him, almost resigned.  
  
"Really? Good. Who sent them?" He is initially relieved she knows, until the next words come out her mouth.  
  
"Some guy who has been at all my crime scenes the last few weeks." she says without looking at him, seemingly fascinated by the traffic streaming by in front of them. Now he recognizes the tone; detachment.  
  
He's stunned; that is the last thing he was expecting. Grissom waits until he is stopped at the light on Tropicana in front of the airport to say anything. "Some guy? Some stranger you don't know sent you flowers and has been at your crime scenes? Sara, this could be trouble."  
  
She finally turns to him with a small smile. "No, it's fine. I told him not to come to scenes and no more flowers. He seemed agreeable to it."  
  
"Sara, maybe you did get rid of him. But maybe not. I want to you be careful okay? I don't want to use the word stalker, but that's what it could be. If you see him again, tell me." He lightly touches her upper arm, running his hand down to hers, squeezing lightly.  
  
"Yeah. All right Grissom. But I am sure he's gone, he didn't seem crazy. He told me his name even, Joey Harrington." She squeezes his hand back and the honking from cars behind him tell Grissom the light is now green. Moving the Tahoe forward, Grissom can't help but think that this isn't the last they will see of Joey Harrington.  
  
Grissom and Sara solve the robbery in record time. A former employee decided their former employer was an easy target. Going back to the DNA on their homicide from the night before, Sara is annoyed to find all the waiting has been for nothing; a run through CODIS has returned no names. Sara has successfully avoided the lunchroom and the flowers until the very end of the shift and needs to find Grissom, who happens to be in said room, working on a crossword and drinking coffee. Walking into the room, Sara is assaulted by the sickly sweet smell of the lilies and knows they need to go. Walking determinedly over to the counter, Sara is ready to throw the whole thing in the trash when an idea occurs to her. Sitting next to Grissom and facing the door to watch for people, Sara leans into him and speaks in a low tone.  
  
"Hey, I'm not coming over after work. There's an errand I have to run, okay?"  
  
He eyes her skeptically but doesn't see anything devious in her face. "Sure. What's the errand?"  
  
"I would rather not say. Don't worry, it's a good thing." She gives him one of the smiles she only uses for him. Getting a nod, Sara gets up and heads to the lab to finish out her shift helping Greg run samples through the GC/MS.  
  
Little over an hour later, Sara gathers her things along with the flowers and walks to her Tahoe, carefully placing the vase on the floor in the backseat. Pulling out of the lot, she is unaware of someone watching her. Driving an all too familiar route, Sara arrives at her destination fifteen minutes later. Parking in the visitor lot, she looks up at the entrance and the stone façade; St Johns Hospital is engraved in grey. Walking in and swiftly making her way to the 4th floor, Sara finds the pediatric ward and the nurses station.  
  
"Hi. Can you give these to one of the kids you think needs it?" she asks a petite blonde nurse.  
  
"Uhhh, thank you. You sure you don't want them? They are beautiful." she replies and looks at the flowers now sitting on the counter.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure. Thank you." She smiles at the nurse and walks away.  
  
Walking back to the bank of elevators, Sara gets the feeling like she is being watched. Stopping and looking around, she sees nothing and quickens her pace. After a nervous ride down the elevator, Sara walks into the Vegas sunshine; it isn't too hot yet and she can enjoy the warmth of the sun on her face. Stopping to do just that, Sara closes her eyes, momentarily forgetting everything about the past few days with the lone exception of her time with Grissom. Grissom, the man she has dreamed about since their first meeting almost 10 years ago. Even then, as a college junior, she had been drawn to the older man. His intelligence matched her own and Sara felt she could communicate with him on a level she had never been able to before with people. Now here they were, exploring the very beginnings of a relationship, and it is more than she could ever want. Opening her eyes, Sara feels better; stopping for something as trivial as the sun has freed her somehow. She gets in the Tahoe and heads home, blissfully unaware of Joey Harrington a few cars back, following her path through the Vegas streets.  
  
Once he finds her apartment, with her unwitting help, he heads home and considers what to do. He knows she loves him, otherwise why would she have talked to him, and she told him not at work, so that means she wants to see him at home. He just needs to be more subtle in his approaches at work, that's all.  
  
After several days, and no more contact with Harrington, Sara is feeling more like herself. She will never admit that for those few days after she met him she was nervous. It is very unsettling to her to have someone she doesn't even know watching her without her knowledge. Entering the break room, she grabs some coffee and greets both Warrick and Nicky, who are, yet again, playing Madden 2000 on the video game machine. Approaching the two men, she watches the figures on the screen go through their moves. At then end of what Sara thinks is a drive, -she has been paying some attention to the silly game- Nicky lets out a whoop.  
  
"I beat him! I finally got you Warrick. Yesssss!!!" Nick gets up and gives Sara a quick hug, almost splashing her coffee on himself.  
  
Shaking her head at him, Sara raises an eyebrow and responds in a teasing tone, "What is that Nick? Like once in the four years you two have worked together?"  
  
Ignoring Warrick who is snickering on the couch, he addresses her, "Oh, that hurts Sar, to the core. But I wont let you get me down. I finally beat him."  
  
Sara smiles as she takes a drink. She loves Nicky. While initially she was attracted to his Texan good looks and was almost pulled in by his southern charm, it never went far. Perhaps if they had met under different circumstances, maybe another lifetime, but not now, not when Grissom is the man she is meant to be with. As she is thinking about him, Grissom walks in the room, a file folder and interdepartmental envelope in his hands. Handing both to her, he comments only on the brown file folder as she places her coffee cup on the table.  
  
"My notes from the robbery. Thought you would want to add yours."  
  
Sara is about to make a comment about him adding his notes to hers when she opens the file and almost laughs. A single sheet of paper resides in the folder, with maybe 10 items listed, starting with her parka and ending with the black watch cap. In between are several clothing suggestions, including a bathing suit. Sara is thoroughly confused; where will she need a parka and a bathing suit? It has to be close, they are only going to be gone two days.  
  
"Don't over think it Sara." he says and grabs coffee. Sometimes it frustrates her how well he knows her.  
  
Closing the file before either of the boys can see, Sara places it on the table, focusing her attention on the interdepartmental envelope. She doesn't recognize the handwriting, but opens it to find what looks like a card inside. Sliding the blue envelope out of the larger one, her senses go on alert and she stiffens immediately. The men in the room all notice the sudden change in her body language from previously loose and happy to suddenly tense. Swallowing, Sara picks it up and opens the envelope to find a handwritten note inside, all the while hoping its not what she thinks. Her fears are confirmed in the first line of the brief note.  
  
  
  
tbc.............  
  
Again.bwhahahahahaha. I am mean! 


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile/Stepf  
  
Rating: PG still.  
  
Notes: Here is the next chapter for you guys finally, I couldn't leave you in suspense anymore. Sorry Zheidi, threats will get you nowhere with me!! Bwhahahahaha. BIG thanks to everyone who has reviewed, it really does keep me writing this beast, its big, really big. Bigger than my first fic and I didn't think that was possible so the encouragement keeps me going.  
  
Again thanks to Meg for betaing for me. She does a rocking job and I appreciate her stepping up when my regular beta person decided to have her baby.  
  
  
  
Closing the file before either of the boys can see, Sara places it on the table, focusing her attention on the interdepartmental envelope. She doesn't recognize the handwriting, but opens it to find what looks like a card inside. Sliding the blue envelope out of the larger one, her senses go on alert and she stiffens immediately. The men in the room all notice the sudden change in her body language from previously loose and happy to suddenly tense. Swallowing, Sara picks it up, and opens the envelope to find a handwritten note inside, all the while hoping its not what she thinks. Her fears are confirmed in the first line of the brief note.  
  
My love,  
  
While I sent the flowers to you for your enjoyment, I am not upset with what you did with them. What a good thing to do, so selfless, so you. I enjoyed our meeting, hopefully I will see you soon again, I look forward to it.  
  
Have a good evening at work,  
  
Joey  
  
"Oh my god," are the only words that escape her lips before Sara lets go and the note drifts to the table. Trying to control her emotions gets her nowhere and her hands begin to shake violently.  
  
Warrick and Nick exchange confused looks with each other then Warrick leans over and reads the note aloud. Grissom hesitates for one instant in going to her side, and Nick beats him to it, grabbing her hands in his and talking softly to her.  
  
"Sara. What's going on?" he asks quietly, concern for his friend evident.  
  
Finally looking him in the eyes, Nick sees the one emotion he never expected from Sara Sidle; fear. She locks eyes with Nick briefly before finding Grissom's warm blue ones.  
  
When she finally speaks, her voice is tainted with desperation. Directing her words at Grissom, she all but ignores the other worried members of her team. "I though he was gone. I thought he got the message. He followed me Gris, he waited for me to get out of work and he followed me."  
  
"What is she talking about Gris?" Warrick asks.  
  
"Let's sit down." he says and watches as Nick pulls out a chair for Sara, who it looks like is shaking less. "Several weeks ago Sara encountered someone at a crime scene, who it now appears is stalking her. That's who sent the flowers the other day."  
  
"I can't believe this. He's barely contacted me though." They are both ignoring the other men in the room and the shocked expressions on their faces.  
  
"Sara, there is no doubt in my mind this man is determined, look at the note. I am sure that shortly he will step up his efforts. You need to be careful."  
  
"Grissom I am armed and can defend myself." She gives him a small smile and gets her emotions in check; she refuses to let this affect her. The note is startling and that's it. "I refuse to let this man dictate my life. He hasn't gotten violent; I'm sure I will be fine."  
  
"Sara, are you sure it's a good idea to be so cavalier about this? He could be dangerous," Nick asks, voicing the thought on both his and Warrick's minds.  
  
"Guys, he sent me flowers and a card, and talked to me, that's it. Nothing violent, I'm sure if I just ignore him, he will go away. Okay? I do not want this invading my work."  
  
The men look at her with matching expressions of skepticism but nod their acknowledgement and acceptance.  
  
Grissom watches as she speaks, her words becoming defiant, the meaning behind the words clear in her eyes. He has no doubt of her intentions to not let this affect her life. Sara puts up a good front, but he can tell it's bothering her more than she lets on in front of Nick and Warrick. Sitting back in the chair, his eyes never leaving her, Grissom is more than pleased they will be leaving next week; a vacation will do her a world of good. For a moment he wishes Catherine wasn't on vacation for the next few days. He needs someone to talk to about this.  
  
"Okay Sara. Let's move on for now, but I am talking to Brass to see if there is something they can do." Receiving a nod from her, he indicates Nick and Warrick. "Well, no new cases tonight. Work on what you have and let's try to catch up with the paperwork, okay?"  
  
"Sure boss," Warrick replies and looks at Sara. "You need anything."  
  
"I know. Thanks War." She smiles at them and picks up the note and throws it in the trash on her way out the door, making the decision not to think about it again.  
  
Sara is sitting in the layout room, watching one of Grissom's experiments for him while he talks to Brass, when the receptionist's voice comes over the intercom.  
  
"Sara Sidle, Line 1. Sidle, Line 1." Sara looks up at the speaker, confused as to who would be calling her here. Most people know its easier to get a hold of her on her cell.  
  
"Sidle."  
  
"Hi Sara. How's your evening?" a strange voice asks over the line.  
  
"Fine. How can I help you?" She knows who it is and starts to look around the lab, as if he is right there.  
  
"How can you help me? Man you are funny. You get the note? You know, that was a nice thing you did, giving the flowers away, I guess I will just have to replace them."  
  
A sudden stab of fear hit Sara in the stomach. "Ummm. I asked you not to do that, please don't send more. Yes I got the note. Look, Joey, I don't know what you think is going on, but there is nothing between us. Please don't send me anything else, and do not call me at work, okay?" She is trying to let him down easy and still get the point across, though by now Sara is wondering what will get through his head.  
  
"Sorry Sara, I wont call you at work anymore. But if I want to send you gifts I will, that's my right."  
  
  
  
"Your right?" Sara's hands being shaking as she thinks about the implications of his statement, 'Was Grissom right?' she wonders. "What right?"  
  
  
  
"Sara, seeing how I love you, I can send you gift to show you that." He tone is eerily calm.  
  
  
  
"Excuse me? Joey, listen, we need to get something straight. You don't love me, I barely know you. Do you understand?" Sara is trying hard not to let the fear come through in her voice. She is greeted by silence on the other end. As she is about to say something, Joey's voice cuts through the line.  
  
"Yeah, sure Sara. Sorry."  
  
Why? Why would she do this to him? He loves, her and all he wants it so show her his love, convince her that they are meant to be, that they have a future together. She is just throwing that future away, and not for any good reason he can determine. Becoming angry, he hangs up the phone, he would show her, he would convince her somehow.  
  
Before she can speak, Sara hears the dial tone. He has hung up on her. 'Thank god' she thinks, maybe he will leave her alone now. Replacing the phone in the cradle she takes a moment to calm herself, holding her head in her hands; that's the position Grissom finds in her as he walks in.  
  
"Sara?" he asks and approaches.  
  
"Hey. How did it go with Brass?" She lifts her head as she speaks, giving no outward indication of what had just happened.  
  
"Not great. He can't do a damn thing until there are threats involved."  
  
"Well, I don't think we need to worry about it. He just called and I told him to go away. I think he got the message this time; he hung up on me."  
  
"Sara, stalkers are much more persistent than that. He probably isn't gone, so still watch out, will you?" He is now standing directly in front of her; she is still sitting on the stool, almost no space between their knees.  
  
"Gris, I am a CSI, I'm always careful and looking over my back. No need to worry about me." She gives him a genuine smile.  
  
"Still. I worry, so be careful. Why don't you come to my place for a few days?" The idea of her staying with him is more appealing then Grissom is willing to admit.  
  
"No, Grissom. That's exactly what I was talking about earlier; he will not disrupt my life. I will stay in my apartment; I will go about my normal business. Okay?" Her tone is a little harsher than she would have liked, but Sara doesn't want him or anyone else worrying over her for no good reason. Sara honestly thinks she has seen the end of Joey Harrington. Grissom nods at her and turns to the experiment.  
  
"Gris, I'm sorry, that was harsher than I wanted it to sound. I appreciate your concern, really I do, but I am an adult and I can handle myself, ok?"  
  
"Of course. I'm sorry too, I know you can take care of yourself, I just worry. I care about you Sara."  
  
Silently they smile at each other and go back to discussing Grissom's experiment.  
  
tbc...........  
  
I sorta figured after the last chapter break I would give you guys a rest. Heh. More to come by the end of the weekend. Soon comes the really creepy stuff... 


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile/stepf  
  
Rating: Holding strong at PG 13  
  
Notes: Ok, so I am a little late, the weekend was a zoo and my new computer came today and I was distracted setting that up and gosh darn it I just didn't get to it. So here is the next chapter in my never ending saga. We are officially upping the ante here.bwhahaha. Anyhoo, hope y'all enjoy it. Thank you, thank you for the reviews, they mean so much to me, you have no idea. Eolivet, Joey failed in his duties this weekend to make McMahon and Detmer look like Favre, but if he leads us to a better than 2 and 14 record he will be my hero indeed. I want to re-iterate, I only borrowed his name because I stink at that stuff. No infringement intended and I am sure he is a nice guy; he sure seems like it on TV.  
  
Thanks: Also to Meg the bestest beta reader ever, who stepped up when Hope had her baby. And Dev, of course, there would be no 'Fear' without her. To Zheidi for thanking me in her fic.wow, that still blows me away! And to the academy..oh sorry, got a bit carried away.  
  
Sitting in her favorite chair, Sara is quietly reading a book she bought the other day about recidivist offenders and the death penalty. She loves hanging at Grissom's, but sometimes the silence of her apartment is what she needs. She is so focused on the book the shrilling of the phone scares her. Shaking her head at herself, Sara gets up and walks to the phone in the kitchen, her bare feet making a light slapping noise on her linoleum.  
  
"Sidle."  
  
"Well that's an interesting way to answer your home phone," a male voice responds.  
  
Sara almost drops the handset. "What do you want?"  
  
"You."  
  
Suddenly the line goes dead and she looks around her apartment. Walking to each window she makes sure they are closed and locked, and shuts the blinds. Sara considers calling Grissom, but decides against it; she is going to deal with this problem herself. Sara is a trained investigator and armed; one man is no big deal, she convinces herself before the phone rings again.  
  
"Sidle," she says more firmly.  
  
"Why are you resisting, Sara? You know you love me too. Just accept it and we can be together."  
  
Shaking hard now, Sara almost can't form a response until the part of her that says to get a grip takes over. "Look buddy, I don't think you realize who you are screwing with. I'm a cop, so don't think for one instant that I won't have half the force on your sorry ass in under an hour. So leave me the hell alone. Are we clear?" At that Sara slams the phone down and takes a deep breath to keep from hyperventilating. Before she can get complete control, the now ominous sound of the phone is heard again.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" A pause and then she hears soft laughing.  
  
"Because I love you Sara, and I know you love me too. Stop trying to deny it, it will only make it worse." Joey's tone had gone from soft and almost loving to dark and threatening.  
  
"I don't love you, I never will. Get over it." Her voice sounds stronger than she actually feels. She hangs up, and before the phone rings again, Sara pulls the cord from the wall.  
  
Leaning back against her counter, Sara wonders why this is happening to her. Suddenly her apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, like someone has invaded it, even though she is the only person there. Sitting back down, she begins to read again, trying to calm her nerves. After reading through one chapter, Sara looks up from her book and eyes the phone, hanging innocently on the wall. Pursing her lips, she gets up again and approaches it slowly. Holding the grey cord in her hand, Sara plugs it into the wall and waits. Ten minutes later, when the phone doesn't ring, Sara moves from the spot she has been standing stock still in the entire time. Walking to the fridge, she grabs a water bottle and rolls the kinks out of her neck from standing for so long. The sound of the phone ringing again startles her and makes her hair stand on end. Watching as if in a dream, she walks over and picks it up, this time saying nothing.  
  
"What? This time no smart remarks for me Sara? You need to learn who is in control here, and that's me. Closing the blinds and locking the windows won't help. I know you Sara, you are a creature of habit. You come home everyday and you shower, then check your email and usually read before sleeping. And I must tell you Sara, your sleeping habits need some work; four hours isn't nearly enough for you. Not to mention what you eat; I can't figure out how your morning runs keep you so thin. Now listen here girly, you're mine, you're all I want, all I need, can't you see that? We are meant to be, stop resisting, and say you love me Sara and this will all be over and we can be together."  
  
Slamming the phone down again and ripping the cord out, Sara slides down the wall to the floor, bringing her knees to her chest and resting her forehead on them. Recalling everything he said, she swiftly realizes he has been watching her for weeks, following her. He knows where she lives, her unlisted phone number, and her routine, probably her jogging route. Her tightly controlled life has been compromised. Sara feels sick to her stomach suddenly, gets up and runs into the bathroom, just making it before her breakfast of a bagel and cream cheese is violently expelled into the toilet. Once her stomach is done retching, Sara gets up and brushes her teeth. She doesn't want this to bother her, she is a strong person, never had to depend on anyone her whole life. Her parents depended on her more than the other way around. Admitting to herself that she can't handle this alone is almost more frightening to her than actually being stalked. Sara knows she is a control freak; it's the only way she can be sure that everything is in order. This is beyond her control though, and she has never been so terrified.  
  
Joey smiles to himself as he hangs up his home phone, she is wearing down, and eventually she will see his love and know he is the one she is meant for.  
  
Coming out of the bathroom, Sara tries to remember where she left her cell phone. Scanning the living room, she finds it sitting on her coffee table. Picking it up, she is about to dial when it rings, startling her to the point of dropping it.  
  
"Shit." She bends over and grabs the still-ringing phone.  
  
Looking at the display, Sara breathes a sigh of relief. Grissom.  
  
"Hey," she says.  
  
"Hey. I tried calling your house phone but it just rings. Everything okay?" Just the sound of his voices calms her on-edge nerves.  
  
"No. Everything is not okay. Can you come over?" she asks, near tears.  
  
"Sara."  
  
"Please just come over Gil. I'll explain then."  
  
The use of his given name gives Grissom pause. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes, Ok?"  
  
"Yeah, okay. Thanks." She hangs up before he can say anything.  
  
Grissom stares at his phone for a moment, terrified of what would cause a normally steady Sara Sidle to almost break down. He could hear that she was near tears. Grabbing his coat and keys, Grissom is out the door in less than two minutes.  
  
The knocking on the door pulls Sara partially out of the daze she has been in since talking to Grissom. Turning in place, Sara looks at the door, but makes no move to it until the knocking becomes more insistent and Grissom calls her name from the other side. Slowly making her way to the door, Sara looks through the peephole and seeing Grissom, opens the door for him.  
  
"Hey," she says quietly and turns away from him, walking back to her perch on the couch.  
  
Grissom watches her and is alarmed. He has never seen Sara in this state; she is detached, barely functioning. Sitting beside her, Grissom takes her small form in his arms and pulls her into his lap. Seated sideways, with her side pressed up against his chest, Sara can felt the steady beat of his heart, and with his arms around her, she feels safe. Sara looks in his eyes and places her head on his chest, just under his chin, letting the tears that she has been holding back flow.  
  
Grissom can count on one hand, hell on one finger, the number of times Sara has cried in front of him, the only time being the Pamela Adler case and of course now. Waiting until he is sure she is done crying, Grissom pulls her away from him slightly, instantly missing the warmth of her body.  
  
"Sara, what happened?" he asks gently and strokes her hair.  
  
"He.. he called me. Here, at my house, I had to pull the cord out of the wall. I didn't know what else to do. God I feel so stupid now, maybe I just blew things out of proportion," she leans into his touch. He hasn't stopped stroking her hair since she started talking.  
  
"What exactly happened?"  
  
Sara quickly relays the phone calls, and almost the conversations word for word. Once she is done, it finally hits her how serious this actually is. Up until this point, she had just assumed that if she told him to go away, he would. His actions tonight, however, make it painfully obvious that he is going nowhere soon, no matter what she says or does.  
  
"I don't understand Gris, why me? Until the other day, I had never spoken to the man, and he thinks he loves me? That makes no sense." Sara's fear is quickly shifting to her default mechanism, anger. "What you possess this man to think I love him? I have done nothing, I was civil to him and that's it."  
  
"I don't know Sara, but he does and we need to deal with it. Let me call Brass," he shifts her off of him so he can grab his phone. Quickly dialing the number, he gets Brass, and after explaining the situation, passes the phone to Sara.  
  
"Hey Brass."  
  
"Sara. How are you?" Brass' distinctive voice comes over the phone.  
  
"Fine, aside from some nutcase who thinks he's in love with me." Her reply is laced with bitterness, which she immediately regrets. "Sorry Brass."  
  
"It's okay. Now think hard for me. Did he threaten you directly?"  
  
Sara thinks a minute before responding, "No, actually he didn't."  
  
"Damn it. Legally, I can't do anything until he threatens you. But I will send a car past your apartment every hour. Understand something though Sara, any talking to him, even to tell him to leave you alone will encourage him. Say nothing to him, ever. All right?"  
  
"Yeah, I understand Brass, thank you," she says and hangs up the phone.  
  
"Brass said he still can't do anything since technically he didn't make threats, but he will send a car by every hour. He also told me not to talk to the guy, even to tell him to leave me alone." She looks at him and smiles slightly; just having him here makes her feel better. Laying down, Sara puts her head in his lap and curls on her side, Grissom slowly rubbing her exposed upper arm and shoulder.  
  
"It will be okay Sara. I promise," he says. Once her breathing becomes steady and indicates she is sleeping, he carefully, without waking her, maneuvers so he is lying next to her on the couch, one arm wrapped protectively around her midsection. Closing his eyes, Grissom wonders what, if anything can be done to get Joey Harrington out of their lives.  
  
tbc... 


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile/A-Stepf (I always wanted to be an 'A') (  
  
Disclaimers ect are on the first chapter  
  
Notes: Originally I had no notes, nope none at all. Then the most horrific thing ever happened. My computer freaked out, and chewed my disk and spit it out at me (ok not so much the spitting), I couldn't access ANYTHING on it, "Path not Found" it said. All my beta's hard work was on that disk, like 4 chapters of it. Gone, finished, sorry lady, you are out of luck. I had this chapter all prepped and ready to go.then the error messages from hell. But yet again Meg the Magnificent Beta saved my behind. She had everything saved..ahhhh. So thank Meg you are even getting this chapter (though you may not at the end)!! I know I thank all that is good that I didn't have the master file of this thing on the same disk, because I probably would have jumped into Lake Erie, never to be heard from again.  
  
Thanks: Of course to Meg, for not only saving me but betaing in the first place. She rocks. And too all of you that have reviewed I cant thank you enough, it makes my day, especially today. You guys ROCK hard.  
  
  
  
Slowly coming out of sleep, Grissom is momentarily confused by the weight of something on his chest. Opening his eyes, he is treated to the top of Sara head, somehow while sleeping they had shifted so Grissom is on his back with Sara lying on top of him, her head resting on his ribcage. Looking at his watch, he realizes they have been sleeping for almost 6 hours, an eternity for Sara. Touching the top of her head, he is surprised when she lifts it and looks at him with clear, open, very much awake eyes.  
  
"Hey. How long have you been awake?"  
  
"Just over an hour. Sorry, I should have moved, you were just sleeping so soundly and I was, well.comfortable."  
  
"No that's fine. How about some coffee?" He asks and gently sits up, his back cracking from sleeping on her couch.  
  
"Yeah, thanks." She says and sits forward, elbows on her knees, rubbing her hands together, a nervous gesture she started in high school. "I feel so out of control, you know. This man wont leave me alone, no matter how many times I tell him and I don't know what to do. I don't like not knowing what the next step is Gris. He has invaded my life and I didn't invite him. I..I feel so lost and confused."  
  
Grissom turns back from making coffee and sits in front of her on the table. "We will deal with him the same way we deal with all our other suspects Sara. Gather the evidence and put him away so he cant hurt you or anyone else. You need to write down the calls, what time and what you can remember, and then write down your first encounter with him and make a note of the flowers. I saved the note you threw away; it's at the lab. That way if he ever threatens you, we have something to back it up."  
  
Sara nods at him, she is going to take charge of this problem and not sulk about it, that isn't who she is. Sara Sidle tackles everything head on, and this should be no different, she refuses to be a victim.  
  
Entering the lab that evening, Sara is met by the solemn faces of Warrick and Nick in the breakroom. Sitting down at the table with them, Sara isn't sure what is wrong until Nick looks at her with an expression of worry.  
  
"Brass told you, didn't he?" she asks tersely.  
  
"Yeah he did. Sara, it's frightening. Are you ok?" Nick asks.  
  
Sara softens at the tone of his voice; he is only worried about her. Sighing, she looks at the man in front of her. "It's a little scary, but I refuse to let this guy bother me. Brass told me to ignore him, and that's what I intend to do." She ends with a smile at him.  
  
"That's probably your best plan Sara, ignoring him. Hopefully he'll get the hint this time," Warrick states.  
  
"Yeah, hopefully," she replies quietly as Grissom enters with the assignments for the evening.  
  
Once they receive their assignments, the two teams split off and start to head in different directions. On the way out the break room door, Nick catches Grissom and Sara.  
  
"Hey Sara. Be careful ok?" He says and gives her a serious look. He has become attached to her more than he thought possible. Initially he didn't want anything to do with her; Sara Sidle had been an investigator that Grissom brought in to investigate his best friend. When she'd stayed, he'd learned to accept her and had actually developed a crush on the pretty brunette. Slowly, Nick had realized her heart was with another male member of the team and had accepted her into his life as a sister and friend. He doesn't want anything to happen to her as much as Grissom.  
  
"You know I will." She smiles at him.  
  
Returning from the crime scene later that evening, Grissom pulls the Tahoe into the parking lot. As Sara takes off her seatbelt and reaches for the door, a strong hand touches her arm. Turning to Grissom, she gives him an expectant look.  
  
"Sara. Why don't you stay with me after work?"  
  
"Gris. I admit I was freaked out last night, but I am determined not to let this interfere with my life. I am taking control back and I can't do that from your townhouse."  
  
"Are you sure? I can come over again if you want." He lightly runs a finger down her jaw line, taking joy in the smile that crosses her face.  
  
"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks." Her expression changes to what he can only describe as mischievous.  
  
"Lets get this stuff in the labs and processed. I, for one, would like to get out of here on time today," he says and opens the door, Sara following shortly behind.  
  
Sitting in the layout room with the evidence collected surrounding them, Sara scrunches her nose and starts going through the bags one by one. Grissom watches this for a few moments before the rustling of the bags starts getting on his nerves.  
  
"Sara, **what** are you looking for?" He asks and grasps her hands lightly to stop them.  
  
"Where's the fiber evidence I collected?" she asks, irritated.  
  
"It's not here?" He skims the labels on all the bags.  
  
"No. Would I be looking for it if it were here?"  
  
Grissom raises an eyebrow at her sarcastic tone. "No, I suppose not. Did we leave it in the truck?"  
  
"Crap, I hope not. I'll go check. Shit Grissom, if we did, we just broke chain of custody and could be screwed," she says and heads for the door.  
  
"Just see if it's there, Sara. We will worry about that later." Receiving a nod, Grissom goes back to sorting.  
  
Walking out to the truck, all Sara can think is that they better not have left evidence behind. Opening the back door, Sara looks through the back of the vehicle, finding nothing. 'Goddamn' she thinks and slams the hatch closed as her phone rings.  
  
"Sidle." Annoyance is evident in her voice.  
  
"Uhh Sara, the fibers are here. They were under another bag."  
  
"Great. Ok, I'll be back in a minute." She sighs with relief and heads for the door when a noise stops her cold. Looking around the lot, she sees nothing, but instinct is telling her something isn't right. The darkness outside the parking lot lights is inky and unexpectedly frightening to her. Shivering in the warm Vegas air, Sara rubs her arms and moves to the doors. Suddenly a hand reaches out from behind her and grabs firmly onto her left arm. Swinging around, free hand on her firearm, Sara's worst fear is realized. Staring eye to eye with the man that has turned her life upside down, she begins to back away, but the firm grip he has on her keeps her from going far. Taking in the man, she tries to calculate her odds against him if he tries anything. She can't very well shoot him now without provocation. He is maybe two inches taller, but he outweighs her by quite a bit, and through his tight t-shirt, all she can see is muscle.  
  
tbc.....  
  
Bwhahahaha..I am at it again! Threats don't work with me either. So bring it on. But I love you guys, so probably the next chapter will be up in short order, mostly cause it heralds the return of the SSIF, and who doesn't love the SSIF? 


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile/A-Stepf  
  
Disclaimer/Rating/Summary: Check the first chapter  
  
Notes: Ok, ok.I cant keep you guys in suspense for that long. Here you go, the return of the SSIF. It's a little rusty, hasn't been used in a while, but its effective. Next chapter is all about the G/S love, cant forget that part.  
  
Thanks: To all who reviewed, makes my day! To Meg the beta person yet again.she really rocks, yo.  
  
  
  
"Let me go," she says evenly.  
  
"Sara, please hear me out. I know I scared you. I'm sorry, I didn't want to. That was never my intent. I know you love me though Sara, just admit it, please. I will do anything for you." As he is talking, Joey's grip is steadily getting more painful.  
  
"Go away. Just leave me alone," she says and tries unsuccessfully to pull out of his grasp. She is almost free when he grabs her other arm, effectively trapping her and making it impossible for Sara to get to her gun. As he stares at her wordlessly, the grip on her arms becomes painful. She can almost feel the capillaries bursting, forming ugly bruises.  
  
"Joey, you're hurting me." she says between clenched teeth and tears.  
  
"I'm sorry Sara, maybe this is the only way you will learn who you are meant to be with. I will love you and treat you better than anyone could." The tone in his voice and the loving but menacing look in his eyes frightens Sara, and she strains against him to free herself.  
  
"Let me go, NOW." Sara can feel tears stinging her eyes from the pain. She didn't know someone could grip like this. Debating her best way to get out of the situation, and using her best negotiating voice, she tries to convince him to let her go. "Please, I will listen to what you have to say. But I can't with you hurting me."  
  
While this is happening, Nick walks by the main doors and looks out to see Sara talking to someone. Initially he assumes it's Grissom, since her body is blocking his view of her companion. Looking closer though, he notices the tight grip on her arms and realizes that's not Grissom. Screaming back at the receptionist to get a cop out there, Nick rushes out the doors only to witness Sara taking care of herself.  
  
Looking at her, Joey decides she has learned and slightly releases one arm. Sara takes the opportunity and in one swift movement, pulls her arm out of his loose grip, brings around a fist and punches him square in the jaw. Surprising Sara, he doesn't release his grip on her other arm, just squeezes tighter. Rubbing the spot where she made contact, he looks at her; the only expression Sara sees is fury. Before Sara can say anything, she sees his hand rise in the air to hit her back, so she closes her eyes, turns her head and prepares for the blow. When after a few seconds, none is forthcoming; she opens her eyes to see Nick standing with Joey's arm in his hand.  
  
"I'm only going to tell you this once. Let her go now," Nick says in what has to be the most serious tone Sara has ever heard from him. For a moment the men engage in a staring contest.  
  
"It's none of your business, buddy. Stay out of it, " Joey says and pulls his hand out of Nick's grip.  
  
"It is when you are bothering one of my friends," he says and steps in between Sara and Joey, placing her safely behind him. During the conversation, Joey releases Sara's arm and she takes a step away from him and further behind Nick, rubbing her arms but with her head up and staring straight at Joey. "Why don't you catch a clue, partner, and back off. She doesn't want anything to do with you."  
  
Two uniformed officers quickly approach the trio and look at Nick for explanation as to why they are there.  
  
"Stokes. What's going on?" the older of the men asks.  
  
"I need you to arrest this man, for assault on a CSI," he says with a smirk.  
  
"Nick, we need more than your word, man." The older officer is about to continue when Sara steps out from behind Nick and lifts the sleeve on her shirt to reveal several distinct finger-shaped bruises forming. The officer inspects the bruises and continues, "That's enough for me. Johnson, please arrest the man and escort him to booking while I talk to Stokes and Sidle."  
  
Johnson quickly handcuffs Joey and reads him his rights, Joey's eyes never leaving Sara's form, which is now only partially hidden behind Nick. As he passes by, Sara looks up at her attacker, and in his eyes only sees rage. Feeling a hand on her hip, Sara brings her attention back to Nick and Davis, the officer taking their statements. Davis seems unconcerned that Sara had punched her attacker and chooses to skim over that part of the statement. After relaying everything that happened, Sara looks to the door, wondering where Grissom could be. She figures by now he would have started to wonder about her whereabouts. At least 15 minutes has elapsed since their call. She is so focused on the door that Sara doesn't hear Nick address her until he touches her shoulder lightly.  
  
"Sara, if you're looking for Gris, they won't let him out of the building. They wanted to get our statements before we talked to anyone. A couple more minutes and I will be through."  
  
Sara blushes slightly at being caught, but is impressed Nick knew what she was thinking. True to his word, a few short minutes later he is done with his statement and they are allowed to enter the labs again. Approaching the doors, Nick walks slightly behind Sara, keeping one eye on the brunette.  
  
Before going in, Nick stops her and, to avoid being heard, whispers in her ear, "Are you ok? That was a nice hit, by the way."  
  
"Thanks. A little shaken up, but I'll be fine. They arrested him. That's a start. " She smiles at him and Nick opens the door for her, shaking his head. She must be more than shaken to even admit she is anything other than fine.  
  
A small crowd had gathered at the entrance to see what was going on, and as Sara and Nick walk through it, she begins to get a sense of claustrophobia in addition to feeling like everyone is looking at her. Quickening her pace, Sara crosses through the metal detector and feels relief on the other side when the only person there is Grissom, whose usual emotionless face wears the look of apprehension. Not caring anymore about what others think, Sara wraps her arms around his midsection and rests her head on his shoulder. She needs to feel physical contact with someone besides Joey. Grissom, in return, hugs her shoulders and looks at the top of her head. Nick watches in amazement for a moment before he realizes what they are doing and swiftly rotates his head, looking for anyone who might notice.  
  
Not wanting to interrupt, Nick clears his throat loudly, getting Grissom's attention. "Hey Gris, how about your office?"  
  
Looking around, Grissom realizes the problem and, keeping one arm around Sara, guides them down the hall and into his office. Nick is about to walk away when his name is called from within the still dark office.  
  
"Nick, I want you to tell me what you saw, too," Grissom says as the young man walks to the doorway.  
  
"Yeah, ok." Nick feels like he is intruding, but sits in the chair next to Sara across Grissom's desk.  
  
A full forty-five minutes later, Nick is leaving the office, having told the story for the second time that night. Sara had actually said very little and was focused on Grissom the entire time he talked. Pausing in the door, he looks back at them and smiles. Nick knew this was coming, hell, everyone knew, but it doesn't make him any less happy for them.  
  
"By the way, I didn't see anything," he says and starts to leave the room as Grissom nods at him.  
  
"Thanks Nick, I owe you more than you know."  
  
"Oh, I think I know." He flashes Sara that big grin of his, causing her to return in kind.  
  
As Nick quietly closes the door behind him, Grissom looks at Sara with a serious expression. "I do owe him, you know. I don't want to think about what could have happened if Nick hadn't seen you. Are you ok? Did he hurt you?"  
  
"I'm shaken but ok. He scared me more than anything, really," she says with a hint of avoidance in her tone. Grissom instantly picks up on the fact she isn't telling the entire truth.  
  
"Sara, let me see your upper arms." He moves around the desk and sits in the chair vacated by Nick.  
  
"Grissom."  
  
"Now, Sara," he says firmly and Sara knows she has no choice. Carefully lifting up her left shirt sleeve, Sara watches Grissom go from worried to angry. "Oh my god, that bastard. Jesus, Sara." At that she finally looks down and is surprised at the dark color the bruises have already turned.  
  
"Wow, it hurt at the time, but I didn't realize it was that bad. He's in custody for the time being though." She sighs at the end of the sentence.  
  
Grissom simply nods, not wanting to point out that the odds of him staying there longer than the bail hearing are slim. "Sara, he wont be in there forever. I am more worried about what happens when he gets out. Its apparent his obsession is increasing."  
  
She looks up at him, "Yes I know Grissom. It's all I have been thinking about for weeks. All I want." she pause, then continues. "All I want is for us to be able to move forward in our relationship without this hanging over our heads."  
  
"Is that all you have been thinking about?" he smiles at her.  
  
"Nope. I have been thinking about this vacation someone is taking me on that I still don't know the destination. Are you going to tell me?" she smiles at him, but watching her, Grissom can tell the smile is off, not quite right.  
  
"That's for me to know and you to find out," he says and stands up, moving to the door.  
  
"Grissom. Come on, just give me a hint. Please?" She smiles seductively at him, hoping that will pry the information out.  
  
"No Sara. Now get out of here and clear those cases before we leave. Oh and remind me never to piss you off, I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of that fist." He has to admit the smile she gave him almost loosened his tongue. What he wouldn't do for this woman.  
  
"Yes boss," she says, her quiet laughter reverberating down the hall. He listens to her laugh and frowns, its seems hollow, like she is doing it because she should. His Sara is slowing slipping away and he doesn't know what to do about it.  
  
  
  
tbc.. Yay geek love is next!!! 


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile/A-Stepf (kinda liking the A thing)  
  
Disclaimers.blah blah are on the first chapter  
  
Notes: Look ma.no notes! Enjoy and the serious unseemliness is next chapter! Good times.  
  
Thanks: Ohhh how do I love thee Meg, let me count the ways. Lots cause she is a fabulous beta. Big thanks to all who reviewed, it really does inspire me. Eolivet, I think Joey has McMahon on the run for his job as we speak. All the talk on the sports shows here is Joey already has the job and will start the season. I just want em to win more than 2 games this year, is that asking so much?  
  
  
  
"Docket Number 55636.02 J. City of Las Vegas, Clark County Court. People of Nevada vs. Joseph Harrington. One count assault and battery of a police officer, one count attempted assault."  
  
"Defense, what does Mr. Harrington plead?"  
  
"Not guilty, your honor."  
  
"Noted. Counselor, bail?"  
  
"Five hundred thousand."  
  
"Counselor? For an assault and battery?"  
  
"Your honor, the victim is a Las Vegas CSI. Additionally, the defendant has been harassing the victim for months. Phone calls and."  
  
"Counselor, that is not in evidence now and this isn't trial. Defense?"  
  
"Your honor, my client has lived in Las Vegas his whole life. His job, friends and family are here. This is his first offense, it was a misunderstanding. We would like ROR."  
  
"Agreed, Mr. Crowell. The defendant is released on recognizance and trial is set for August 28th. Mr. Harrington, you are to have NO contact with the victim, understand me? If I find out you are, I will have your ass back here so fast you won't know what happened."  
  
"Yes, your Honor."  
  
  
  
"He was WHAT?" Grissom's voice booms through his closed door, causing several people walking by to cringe. Inside the office isn't much better.  
  
"Grissom. I'm just telling you what happened," Brass answers.  
  
"I know, but Brass? ROR? For assault on a CSI?" Grissom slides further into his seat, "Dammit, he was only locked up for eight hours."  
  
"The judge ordered him not to go near her. There is only so much I can do. I can't put a man on him, -that would look like favoritism."  
  
"Come on, Brass. We both know that when someone is as determined as this guy seems to be, a judge's orders aren't going to stop anything." Sighing, Grissom looks at his watch. "I'm leaving, and I will be gone until Monday. You have my cell if you absolutely need me. Catherine is in charge."  
  
"Ok Grissom, when you get back we will figure something out. Have a good weekend."  
  
"Thanks Brass," he says and heads out the door, not looking forward to telling Sara what happened. She had left early that shift at his insistence; Sara had said she was fine, but Grissom hadn't believed her. He'd caught her in the locker room only twenty minutes after their conversation, shaking and near tears. He'd forced her to go home and get packed. Grissom had already called the airlines and hotel and had arranged to be there earlier than originally planned.  
  
The knock on Sara's door initially startles her and causes her to drop the hairdryer and round brush she is holding. 'Damn Sara. Relax,' she tells herself and approaches the front door. She knows who it is, but if she doesn't check, it will be a lecture from Grissom. Looking out, she sees his familiar form and swiftly opens the door for him.  
  
"Hey!" She says brightly. Grissom inwardly cringes at her good mood, she doesn't know about Harrington yet.  
  
"Hey. How are you?"  
  
"Great. I'm almost done packing. Want some coffee?"  
  
"Sure. Nick is going to be here in about two hours to pick us up. My bag is in my car," he says as she hands him the mug.  
  
"What? We're leaving that soon? I thought not until later, and Nick? Aren't we keeping this quiet Gris?"  
  
"Yeah, I want to get out of here soon and start our vacation, and yes Nick, he already figured it out, so what difference does it make now? At least it's not Catherine and won't be all over the office by noon tomorrow." He gives her a small smile at the last part and she chuckles.  
  
"Well I'm almost done. Give me a few minutes and we can eat before we leave." As she walks away from him, Grissom reaches out and lightly grabs her wrist.  
  
"Sara, I have to tell you something." At her confused look he continues, "Joey Harrington was RORed." He gives this a minute to sink in and watches as her face conveys fear, anger, and finally acceptance.  
  
"I see. I guess I shouldn't have expected him to be remanded. I.I'm going to go finish packing, ok?"  
  
"Sure." He watches her retreat to her bedroom, happy they are getting out of town sooner. He wants nothing more than to make this weekend special for her, and the last thing he wants is Joey Harrington invading it. She needs this time away from her life, or what her life has become.  
  
Coming out of her room with one bag, Sara is greeted by the smell of eggs. Dropping the suitcase near the door, Sara enters the kitchen, stands behind Grissom, and wraps her long arms around him, linking her fingers on his chest. He stops what he is doing and places one hand over hers.  
  
"Almost ready, have a seat," he says and lightly rubs her hand.  
  
"Ok, thanks Grissom."  
  
Unfailingly on time, Nick knocks on the door exactly two hours after Grissom had. Opening the door for him, Sara gives him a sheepish grin. If anyone at work had to find out about them, Nick was the one person she knew she could trust with the information.  
  
"Hey Nick."  
  
"Hey Sara. Ready to go?" He smiles at the younger woman.  
  
"Yeah, Grissom's bag is in his truck. Hey Nick, can you do me a favor?"  
  
"Sure, what do you need?" He follows her in. This is a first for him; he has surprisingly never been in Sara's apartment. Looking around, he isn't really shocked at the incredible cleanliness. Warrick had mentioned to him once about Sara being a control freak. You could see it at work, but her home is that much worse. Everything is perfectly placed. The CDs are in order by artist. The pictures on the entertainment center follow a specific pattern, the tallest in the center with other smaller frames flanking it, and by his untrained eye, they appear to have equal spacing between the frames. On a desk in the corner is a very expensive and high tech computer, and none of the cords are loose or even seen for that matter. Her books are arranged by author and title, in descending height order.  
  
He is so distracted looking around, learning new information about his colleague that Nick almost runs right into her.  
  
"Sorry Sar. What did you need?" They had come to a stop in front of a large planter with what looked like an orchid in it.  
  
"I need you to come over and water him. Please. Three days is too long to be without water and I cant water him now. These orchids are temperamental. Tomorrow just give him enough to make the soil damp. Okay?" she asks and hands him her extra key.  
  
"Yeah, I can do that. Anything else?"  
  
"Nope, thanks Nick. And not just for that, for everything."  
  
"Your welcome. For everything," he says and pulls her into a quick hug. Looking over her shoulder at the pictures again, he sees something that catches his interest. Letting her go, he walks over and gets a closer look at the pictures and not just the frames. Smiling, he points at one of the team, it looks like it was taken at the Christmas party. They all look happy, Grissom with his arms around her and Catherine with Warrick and Nick at the ends.  
  
"Nice picture, where did you get it?"  
  
"Greg took it, thought I might want one."  
  
Nodding, he looks one more over and sees one of just her and Grissom. As he is about to say something, Grissom appears from the bedroom, looking like he just stepped out of the shower.  
  
"Nick, great. You ready Sara?"  
  
"Yep, let's go." She grabs her bag but before she can even lift it, her hand is removed and replaced by Nicks. Sara raises an eyebrow but holds the door open for him and Grissom, carefully shutting and locking it behind her.  
  
He watches from his car, wondering what the two men are doing at her apartment. He is supposed to be the only man in her life. Joey gets even angrier when he notices one of them, he thinks the cop last night called him Nick, carrying a suitcase that he places in the back of the Tahoe. Another suitcase from a matching blue Tahoe is then placed next to the first by the older of the two men. Narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Nick, Joey gets the surprise of his life when the older man leans over and gives Sara a quick kiss on the lips. The anger wells in him as he watches the trio get into Nick's Tahoe and drive off. Carefully pulling his pick-up out behind them, he remains a safe distance from them until they pull into McCarran Airport, at which point he turns in the circle and waits until Nick drives by again. He can't figure out why she is doing this to him, the judges orders and now leaving town with another man, one twice her age at that. Fuming, he drives home, wondering how to get her back under his control.  
  
Grissom has been watching Sara's foot tap impatiently on the hard floor of the airport for 15 minutes, and even for a man as tolerant as Grissom, eventually it gets annoying. Between that and the constant humming of the slot machines near the gates, Grissom is about ready to go home when he hears their flight called.  
  
"Let's go," he says to the brunette who stops tapping long enough to give him a quizzical look.  
  
"What?"  
  
"They called our flight," he simply states and stands up, waiting for her to follow suit. When she doesn't, he raises an eyebrow at her and tilts his head in the direction of the gate.  
  
"Grissom, they just called a flight to Flagstaff."  
  
"I am well aware of what they called. Let's go."  
  
Getting up, Sara furrows her brow with a bewildered look. "You're talking me to.Flagstaff? How romantic." The sarcasm in her tone would be obvious to a deaf person.  
  
"Sara, just get on the damn plane already, will you?" he says, exasperated.  
  
"Ok, ok. But if we are seriously going to Flagstaff, you and I are having a talk." She smiles at him, gathers her carry-on, and boards with the hundred other people heading to Flagstaff, Arizona.  
  
tbc............... Yeah I know, this is a boring chapter, but man they cant get to their destination by osmosis. 


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile/A-Stepf  
  
Rating: STRONG PG-13 for implied unseemliness (sex)  
  
Notes: Ba chica ba ba. It's the unseemliness at long last!! Nothing graphic here, I am of the thinking that less is more. Well that and I just can't write it. Let me tell you guys, two geek loves, beautiful surroundings, all they want to do is be unseemly, I swear. Again, enjoy cause you know Joey will be back, and its getting dark over here in the chapter I am writing.  
  
I typically write about 7-10 chapters ahead, that way I can change stuff if I need to. Why am I telling you this boring piece of information? Cause for the first time I had to go back and use that to my advantage, I went back and completely rewrote, and by that I mean I added a completely new twenty page section to the next part. So the moral to my story is I may be a little slow on the posting in a bit, my beta needs time people; I don't need her brain exploding.  
  
Big thanks to those who reviewed!! You guys rock and ARE my muses. :-) Eolivet.you see that huh?? Harrington lead us to a win last night...better start a runnin' McMahon. I almost feel guilty about naming a stalker after him.almost. Of course big shout out to my girl Meg the beta!!!  
  
  
  
An hour and a half later, they depart the plane and Grissom guides her to the nearest car rental. Leaving Sara outside the doors with their bags, he goes in and returns minutes later with the keys to a vehicle.  
  
"Ok, little less than two hours and we'll be there," he says to her as they wait for the porter to bring around the vehicle they rented.  
  
"Where, Grissom? Aren't you going to tell me now?"  
  
He smiles enigmatically at her and shakes his head. "That's what you get for the Flagstaff comment."  
  
Sighing loudly and rolling her eyes, Sara doesn't even notice when a black Jeep with the top down is stopped in front of them. Grissom thanks the driver and places their bags in the back. Finally looking, Sara raises one eyebrow at him and smiles.  
  
"A Jeep, Grissom? Well, you never fail to surprise me."  
  
"Good to hear." He walks over to her and hugs her tightly, kissing her forehead as he lets go. "Feels good to do that in public."  
  
She returns his smile and gets into the passenger side as he starts the vehicle. Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, she relaxes for the first time in days, and settles in for the ride. Sara looks at the man next to her, smiles, and grabs his free hand in hers. He looks so much younger outside the lab, in the sun. Adding to that is the short sleeve blue polo that brings out the blue in his eyes. Vacation or not, Sara is a keen observer and when Grissom pulls onto 17 south, she makes note. She is determined to figure out where they are going.  
  
An hour and a half later she is no closer to figuring it out than she had been at the start of the trip, but she has given up, it doesn't matter where they were going as long as she is with him. Most of the time has been spent in comfortable silence. Occasionally Sara would comment on the view; while the road is relatively flat, the mountains that flank the road are beautiful. Letting her mind wander, Sara begins to think about Joey Harrington and immediately chastises herself. 'Damn Sara, you are on vacation to.somewhere, with the man you love and what's on your brain? Some idiot determined to make life miserable. I refuse to think about him the rest of this trip,' she thinks and absently rubs the spot on her arms where angry bruises still reside a physical reminder.  
  
"Three more miles and we're there, " Grissom says suddenly, startling her out of her thoughts. Looking around, the only sign she sees is one about Oak Creek Canyon being in the top 6 of the most scenic drives by Rand McNally.  
  
"Good, my ass is getting sore. Love the Jeep, hate the shocks." She looks at him over her sunglasses and laughs. He glances at her and joins in the laughter. She is right about the shocks.  
  
Finally exiting the freeway, Grissom consults his map while Sara makes note of the town, Sedona. The smile on her face gets bigger as she finally realizes where they are.  
  
"Sedona? Red Rock. That's what's here, I can believe I didn't figure that out," she exclaims. Sara has always wanted to visit the visually stunning mesas. Her eyes wide, she take in the town around her, much different than Vegas and its garish neon lights, big hotels and colorful landscape. The buildings and hotels here blend seamlessly into the neutral background; soft earth tones and sharp ridges dominate the landscape. Even bustling with tourist activity, it's not even close to the mass of humanity that visits Vegas every day. Grissom watches her out of the corner of his eye, thrilled that she is excited about being here, pleased with himself about the choice of vacation spots.  
  
Arriving at the Casa Sedona, the bed and breakfast he'd found, Grissom is impressed; the pictures didn't do it justice. He swiftly parks the jeep and gets out, stretching his cramped muscles and watching while Sara does the same. Grabbing their bags, he approaches the front desk and speaks to the clerk while Sara wanders around looking at the southwest décor and homey feel of the place. Walking into a common area, she sucks in a deep breath at the view from a wall of all glass. She has never seen anything like it. Grissom sneaks up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. He is initially disturbed when she stiffens, but just as quickly she relaxes in his grasp and leans into his chest.  
  
"This is perfect Grissom, how did you know I always wanted to come here?" she asks with her eyes still on the view.  
  
"I didn't. It was close, and I thought you might like it." He brings his lips to her exposed neck, dropping several small kisses on her skin. The sensation makes Sara's skin tingle. "Come on, let's drop off the bags and have a look around."  
  
Entering their room, Sara looks around in awe. A large queen bed sits in the middle with a fireplace in the corner, a chess set next to it, and their own private balcony that faces west. The sunsets will be beautiful over the mesas. Dropping her bag on the bed, Sara moves into the bathroom, turning to Grissom and crooking her finger to indicate he join her.  
  
"Check it out Gris, a spa tub for two." She smiles and gives him a wink as she passes by him, heading back into the room. Quickly unpacking, Grissom looks at Sara, who is already sprawled out across the bed, watching him with a gleam in her eye.  
  
"So, what do you want to do?" He asks and sits on the bed next to her, pushing some hair off her face.  
  
"Honestly, I could use some sleep." Looking at the clock, Sara confirms what her internal one is telling her. "Normally I'm sleeping right now." She gives him a sheepish grin.  
  
"That's ok, I'm pretty tired myself. How about we sleep now and then take an evening hike? Check out the surroundings?" He lies down next to her and pulls her warm body into his, breathing in her. Within minutes of hearing her breathing slow to the point he knows she is sleeping, he closes his eyes and joins her.  
  
Waking several hours later, Sara stretches slowly, trying not to wake the other person in the bed, which is difficult considering he is curled into her side with one arm flung over her stomach. Glancing at the clock, Sara is satisfied with 4 hours of sleep and gets out of bed, walking to the balcony and sitting on one of the chairs. Sara enjoys the view for several minutes before deciding she needs a shower. Walk tonight or not, she feels grimy from driving two hours with the top down on the Jeep. Getting up, Sara stretches once more, extending her body to its full height and then enters the bathroom. Emerging sometime later, Sara feels better. She has changed into cargo shorts and a tank top, damn the bruises, and is debating waking Grissom when he rolls over on the bed and looks at her.  
  
"Hey," he says sleepily and wonders how long she has been awake.  
  
"About an hour," she says, and for a minute he seriously wonders if she can read his mind, but then he realizes he must have spoken the thought out loud.  
  
"I will never figure out how you can function on only 4 hours of sleep a night." He gets up and approaches her, giving her a quick kiss on the way past her into the bathroom; he also needs a shower. She smiles at him and, while he showers, puts on her hiking boots, which were also on the list he had given her.  
  
After a quick dinner outside in the hotel garden, Grissom suggests they take a look around the area. Getting a list of hiking trails around the hotel, they spend the rest of the evening exploring the mesas, coming to a stop at the top of one of the hills as the sun sets. The explosion of colors over the tops of the mountains is the most beautiful thing Sara has ever seen in her life and for the first time since they started the walk, she stands quietly, as the sun disappears, leaving them a sliver of light to make their way back. Grissom watches her; the awed expression on her face is worth the entire trip. Taking a good look at her, Grissom realizes this is the first time he as ever seen her this relaxed. In her shorts and tank top, it's a complete one-eighty from the Sara he usually sees, even outside the lab. Her brown hair shines in the dusk light and her fair skin tone makes her appear to glow.  
  
"Wow. You don't see that off San Francisco Bay, and definitely not in Vegas."  
  
"No you don't," he says without taking his eyes off her. She turns to him at the odd tone in his voice. Grissom closes the small space between them and, grabbing her neck with one hand, covers her lips in his. Sara moves in closer to him. Their bodies are just barely touching, and she returns the kiss with emotion she has never known. Tentative exploration quickly turns to fierce passion as Grissom pushes her back into the closest tree. Finally breaking the kiss, Grissom looks at her and smiles. She returns his smile and without a word they head back down the trail. The trip takes longer than it should due to the fact that Grissom can't keep his hands off her. Coming to a stop in front of their room, Sara digs the keycard out of her pocket, and from his position behind her, Grissom pushes the hair off the back of her neck and kisses her lightly, causing shivers to run down her spine. With his hands placed on her hips and his lips now following a line down her neck and across her collarbone, Sara is having an extraordinarily hard time getting the door open. Finally getting frustrated with the distraction, Sara turns around and faces him.  
  
"Gil, if you don't stop that we are never getting into the room." Before she can turn back to the door, he snatches the card out of her hand and unlocks the mechanism. "Smartass," she says as he pushes her into the room, closing and locking the door behind him.  
  
Even in the dim light of the room, they lock eyes and Sara can feel in his piercing stare the want, all the way to her soul. Again closing the gap between them, Grissom returns his hands to her hips and pulls Sara into him, kissing her intensely. Slowly, he grabs the hem of her shirt, letting his fingers slide along the soft taut skin of her sides as he pulls it over her head. Smoothing her hair down with his fingers, Grissom leans in and whispers in her ear.  
  
"God Sara, what you do to me," he says and carefully pushes her down on the bed.  
  
tbc...with more unseemliness heeee!!!!!!!!! 


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Fear  
  
Author: csiphile  
  
Rating: still Strong PG-13.yeah more unseemliness  
  
Notes: I found this beautiful song the other day, I think it's a great G/S song. Hope you guys agree!!  
  
Thanks: To Meg of course, for betaing for me! Also to all those who have reviewed.you guys are the best, it keeps me writing, it really does. ZHeidi, Alison, Chris, Peggie, and all those I didn't mention, thank you..so much. Of course thanks to Dev.without her Fear would only be an idea trapped in my head. And the Laundromat I go to gets a big shout out, I had no ending for this thing, I was utterly clueless, until my dryer broke and I had to go to the Laundromat to dry where, as it turns out, inspiration hit! Well I guess a shout out goes to my dryer too for breaking!!!  
  
  
  
Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything  
  
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about  
  
That's what you get for falling again  
  
You can never get 'em out of your head  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you feel  
  
It's the way  
  
That he kisses you  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you fall in love  
  
She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and  
  
Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men  
  
And that's what you get for falling again  
  
You can never get 'em out of your head  
  
And that's what you get for falling again  
  
You can never get 'em out of your head  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you feel  
  
It's the way  
  
That he kisses you  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you fall in love  
  
  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you feel  
  
It's the way  
  
That he kisses you  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you fall in love  
  
Love  
  
Pretty girl, pretty girl  
  
Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything  
  
Pretty soon she'll figure out  
  
You can never get 'em out of your head  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you cry  
  
It's the way  
  
That he in your mind  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you fall in love  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you feel  
  
It's the way  
  
That he kisses you  
  
It's the way  
  
That he makes you fall in love  
  
Love  
  
Sugarcult, Pretty Girl (The Way)  
  
Lying in the dark sometime later, with Sara's body curled into his side and her head resting on his chest, Grissom thinks about how lucky he truly is. The person who means more to him than life is lying naked next to him, and he almost can't believe what had just happened. She has been in his dreams on and off for the past 10 years, more often once she came to work with him in Las Vegas. Smiling to himself, he wraps an arm around her shoulders and kisses the top of her head. Sara's voice in the dark surprises him, -he'd thought she was sleeping.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" she murmurs into his chest.  
  
"You. I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it. Your what's been missing and I didn't even realize it."  
  
"Gris." She starts and looks at him, lifting her head slightly from his chest. Her words are cut off, however, by him tenderly kissing her. Quickly the ferocity of the kiss increases and Grissom carefully rolls her on her back, leaning over her. He simply can't get enough of her.  
  
Waking the next morning to the Arizona sun shining through a slit in the curtains, Grissom is mildly surprised to wake alone. Looking around, he is initially worried when he doesn't see her, until he realizes that the previously unopened patio door now stands ajar. Slowly getting out of bed, he quickly puts on the clothes that had been haphazardly removed the previous night and opens the curtains to reveal Sara curled up into one of the chairs, looking out over the desert. Approaching her, Grissom sits on one of the footrests directly in front of her.  
  
"Good morning," she says and smiles at him.  
  
"Morning. How long have you been up?" He places one hand on her knee and slowly starts making circles on her cool skin.  
  
"Depends, what time is it?" she asks and enjoys the feeling of his hand making its way in lazy circles up her short-clad leg.  
  
"Little after eight," he says, his tone low, his eyes mischievous.  
  
"Oh. I guess about two hours then." Sara leans her head back against the chair and closes her eyes as Grissom slides his hand farther up her thigh, using the other one to trace her exposed neck and collarbone. Grissom smiles to himself; never in his life has he felt this way about anyone. He's had a few lovers but not one has had the effect Sara has on him, -he feels like a teenager, her body is irresistible to him.  
  
"Well, how would you feel about going back to bed for a while?" At that her head raises and she looks at him.  
  
"That would depend on if there's something other than sleeping involved," she says in a dangerously low tone and leans into him, just letting her lips brush his in a taunting manner. Grissom moans under his breath and the hand that had been on her neck snakes around to the back of her head and holds it there as he kisses her hard.  
  
"Does that answer your question?" he asks upon breaking.  
  
"Yeah. I feel fine about heading to bed again." She smiles at him and gets up, grabs one of his hands and leads the way.  
  
  
  
  
  
**Las Vegas, NV Same time**  
  
Snapping on latex gloves and looking around for the third time, Joey swiftly picks the lock on the apartment door, and slides in silently and unnoticed. Joey isn't stupid; he knows that leaving any fingerprints will get him tossed in jail, and he can't convince her of his love from jail. Taking a deep breath, he recognizes the scent as her, Sara. Joey takes in her apartment. He feels like this is where he belongs, but then remembers where she is, with another man, and he becomes angry.  
  
"Why, Sara? We are meant to be, you have to love me. You have to," he says aloud and notices the precise way that everything has a place. Walking into her bedroom, Joey finds what he is looking for, -her closet. Swiftly sorting through the clothes, he again finds what he is looking for, the shirt he first saw her in. Removing it violently from the hanger, he neatly folds the item and places it on her kitchen island. Venturing farther into the living room, he is attracted by the pictures lined up neatly on the entertainment center. Pictures of family mostly, but then his attention is drawn to one in particular. Carefully lifting the frame from its position, he studies the two people in the photo. Sara is standing with a man behind her, his arms wrapped protectively around her arms at her waist. Looking closely, he realizes who the man is, -it's the same person he saw kissing her the day before. 'That whore. She is supposed to be with me. Not him. He can't give her what I can, no one can. She is mine and always will be,' he thinks and becomes more angry at the thought of what she could be doing right now, cheating on him. His grip on the photo becomes tight, his knuckles grow white with anger, and suddenly his anger explodes and he throws the frame across the room, only vaguely hearing the glass shatter and the frame hit the hardwood floor of her kitchen.  
  
"Damn her!" he yells, but not loud enough to draw Sara's neighbors' attention. Spinning back to the photos, he desperately lifts each one and puts it back. Looking for more proof of her infidelity, he searches through her apartment, looking in drawers and cabinets for any sign of a man. As he goes, Joey becomes more and more frustrated. He can't understand her behavior. She should love him; he loves her and that is the way it works, -if you love someone, they are supposed to love you back. Standing in her bathroom, after searching the vanity, Joey looks at himself in the mirror.  
  
"Oh, Sara. Why?" he says quietly, but in a final burst of fury, slams the medicine cabinet door, shattering the glass into the sink basin. "I'll show you what happens when you cheat on me, Sara. Just wait."  
  
Walking to the door, he grabs the shirt from the island, carefully closing and jimmying the door back to locked.   
  
  
  
  
  
**Sedona, AZ**  
  
Finally emerging from their hotel room, Sara and Grissom decide to go for a drive on one of the marked Jeep trails. Easily maneuvering the vehicle, Grissom stops at the crest of one hill, -it seems to be the highest point in the area. Getting out, they walk to the edge, Grissom staying a bit farther back than Sara, who looks over the side and whistles.  
  
"Grissom, come look at this, it's a beautiful view down."  
  
Not moving an inch, Grissom regards her from behind. She's again dressed in cargo shorts that just cover her behind and a tight red t-shirt, and he admires her long legs among other things. "The view is just as beautiful from here, thanks."  
  
Turning to him, Sara smiles but doesn't give up." Come on, Grissom. What? You afraid of the edge?" She takes a step to him.  
  
"Actually, it makes me nervous, that's all," he says honestly.  
  
"Come on Grissom. Just one step at a time." She holds out one hand for him and waits patiently until he takes it and steps to her. Carefully guiding him to the edge, Sara holds Grissom's hand as he tentatively leans over and looks down. It is a beautiful sight, the colors of the sand and rock blending together, but the action of looking down makes him dizzy and he steps back.  
  
"You ok? I'm sorry," she asks, concerned.  
  
"Fine. Really, and don't be sorry, I wanted to see what you did. It is beautiful." He smiles at her. "Lets get some lunch and we can continue driving after. I saw a restaurant in town. Ok?"  
  
"Sure." As they get into the Jeep, Sara's hand on his arm stops him. "Gris, thank you for brining me here. It was just what I needed."  
  
"You're welcome." He returns her smile and heads back down the trail.   
  
  
  
  
  
**Las Vegas, NV **  
  
Whistling as he lets himself into Sara's apartment, Nick drops the key on the island and heads right to the plant in the corner. Checking the soil, he is glad he came over before work, the orchid needs water. Walking back to the kitchen, Nick stops and looks around carefully. The investigator in him has seen something wrong, now he needs to find it. Scanning the bookshelves, CDs, desk, and finding nothing, Nick is ready to give up when something about Sara's pictures sends up a red flag for him. Moving closer to the photos, he instantly realizes a problem. They are not in the right place, and looking closer, he realizes one is missing; the one of her and Grissom from the Christmas party. Snapping into action, Nick pulls his gun from its holder at his side and brings it up. Someone had been, or still is, there.  
  
tbc...I know, but come on the past two chapter breaks were cake! You also had to know that Joey wouldn't be quiet for long!! 


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Fear  
  
Author: CSIphile/A-Steph (who is the proud new owner of a cable modem and simply cant believe how fast it is!!!)  
  
Disclaimers/Rating: Same as the first chapter. I don't own them. STRONG PG13 again for implied unseemliness.  
  
Notes: Sorry this took so long to post, RL has been super busy. That's it, no more notes, amazing!!  
  
Thanks: Of course, standing thanks to Meg for being a great beta. And all those who reviewed, keep it up. I am almost done writing this bad boy and your encouragement keeps me going! You rock!  
  
  
  
Walking the room, Nick enters the kitchen and looks down when his shoes make a crunching noise; there he sees what looks like the missing picture. Not wanting to touch anything without gloves, he leaves it as is and slowly moves through the apartment. First entering Sara's bedroom, he sees nothing out of place until noticing the closet doors are hanging open. Walking over, his gun trained on the opening, Nick notices one hanger pulled out as if something had been removed in a hurry. Recalling Sara's compulsive nature, he doubts she would have left a hanger there like that, much less the door wide open. Quietly moving into the last room, the bathroom, Nick finds her medicine cabinet door hanging open, the glass front smashed into pieces in the sink, the pieces glittering in the white basin.  
  
"Shit," he says, holsters his gun, and picks up his cell phone, pushing a speed dial number.  
  
"Warrick? Hey, it's Nick. We have a problem, I need you and Cath to get to Sara's with kits. Someone broke into her apartment...Yes, I am serious..Yeah, thanks..No, I don't think we should call her. She is out of town and I don't want to bother her..Grissom is gone too.Yeah, ohh, got it?.Good, they are due back tomorrow, I will let them know when I pick 'em up from the airport..Thanks, man."  
  
As he is talking, Nick moves into the kitchen and grabs a cup to water the orchid, before Warrick and Cath got there and he forgets. Once that task is accomplished, Nick opens the front door and kneels down, inspecting the lock closely.  
  
"I'll be damned," he says to no one in particular. There are fresh scratch marks on the deadbolt, and even without a magnifying glass, Nick recognizes the pattern as someone picking the lock. He is so engrossed with the door, Nick doesn't see Warrick and Catherine.  
  
"Hey man," Warrick says and watches the young man jump up.  
  
"Damn Warrick. Don't do that," he says and says hello to Catherine. Looking back at Warrick, Nick receives a nod.  
  
"I brought her up to speed. Brass is enroute too. What have you got?"  
  
"Well this door lock looks picked to me, for starters," He indicates for them to follow him. "Also, the pictures on her entertainment center have been moved around and one is now lying upside down in her kitchen. Looks like a piece of clothing is missing and the medicine cabinet door has been shattered."  
  
"Ok boys, we are going over every inch of this place. Dust everything, I mean everything. Warrick, you get the door and kitchen, Nicky, the living room and hall. I will take the bathroom and bedroom," Catherine says and turns down the hall. When Warrick had told her what was happening while she was gone, Catherine had been concerned for her friend. She and Sara hadn't gotten off on the right foot, but lately they had moved into the realm of friends, not like Sara is with Warrick and certainly not like Nicky, granted, but Catherine truly respects the brunette.  
  
The trio works in silence for the good part of an hour, Brass having shown up and taken Nick's statement thirty minutes ago. There isn't much he can do for a break-in, so he'd left the CSIs to their job. They all knew who had been here, it is a matter of proving it now. As Nick is dusting the top of the entertainment center, his anger at Joey Harrington and the system that refuses to do anything grows. Pulling his final print, Nick decides he is going to take matters into his own hands later. Maybe a scare tactic will work.   
  
  
  
  
  
**Sedona, AZ**  
  
After eating, Grissom and Sara wander around what is considered the downtown of Sedona. The entire area could be fit into the area covered by the MGM Grand. Walking slowly, Grissom grabs her hand and kisses it lightly. For once in his working career, Grissom doesn't care if he makes it back to Las Vegas and the office.  
  
"What are you thinking?" she asks him as they approach the jeep.  
  
"How much I love you." His admission stuns her. It's the last thing she had expected him to say. "It's ok, Sara. You don't have to say it if you don't mean it. I just realized standing here that I do love you, because I would rather be here then anywhere else."  
  
"Grissom. Wow, I love you too." She raises a hand to stop him from speaking. "I'm not just saying it 'cause you did. You should know me better than that."  
  
"I do. It's almost dinnertime. Lets head back to the hotel and get room service." He says and raises one eyebrow at her.  
  
She laughs and nods at him. "Sure Gris, 'dinner', let's go."  
  
Arriving at the room and true to his word, Grissom orders room service for both of them, getting something vegetarian for her of course. Lighting the fire in the corner, Grissom turns to her and smiles slyly.  
  
"Chess?" he asks and indicates the board next to the fireplace with two seats next to it.  
  
"Yeah. I hear you're losing your touch. Warrick beat you." All she receives is an exasperated look in return.  
  
Twenty minutes into the game that Sara is barely loosing, their meals arrive. Eating in silence outside, Sara shivers from the cool wind coming in.  
  
"You cold?"  
  
"Not really, the wind was chilly. Once we're done eating, however, I look forward to finishing kicking your ass at chess. Don't think I forgot. I'm on a roll."  
  
"I look forward to the challenge."  
  
Returning to the game after eating, Sara is concentrating on her move and doesn't notice Grissom staring at her in the firelight, the only source of light in the room. 'God, she is beautiful,' he thinks, but quickly turns back to the game. Thinking like that will only get him in trouble and, well, in bed with the source of his distraction. Sara makes her move and looks up at him, making a quick decision internally.  
  
"Your turn," she says seductively. Grissom recognizes the tone, but tries not to be swayed.  
  
Concentrating on the board, Grissom is surprised when a foot makes contact with his shin, slowly rubbing up and down. Looking at her, Sara's face conveys nothing of what is going on under the table. Trying to keep her face neutral, she slides her bare foot up his shin and makes contact with his thigh. She can tell that he is now having a hard time concentrating on the game. For once in her life thankful for her long legs, Sara comes within inches of her target and is stopped by Grissom grabbing her foot and massaging the bottom of it. She raises one eyebrow at him, licks her lips, and, removing her foot from his grasp, gets up and sits in his lap. Sara sitting in his lap, wriggling around just right, and playing with the fine hairs at the nape of his neck is the end of Grissom's restraint; he easily lifts her light form and walks over to the bed. The game can wait.   
  
  
  
  
  
**Las Vegas, NV**  
  
"Nothing. I can't believe it. Every single print we lifted was either Sara's, Grissom's, or yours." Warrick lets out a loud, frustrated sigh and looks at the other man sitting next to him. "He had to have been wearing gloves. What kind of stalker wears gloves?"  
  
"He's crazy Warrick, not stupid. He has to know that if he gets caught he won't be able to see her anymore." Nick throws down the file he is holding and begins pacing. They can't arrest him, nothing. Everyone knows it was Harrington that broke in, but they can't prove it. He left not one clue, not a print, not a hair.  
  
"Hey Warrick, I need to run an errand. Tell Cath I'll be back in an hour, tops. Ok?" Nick takes in Warrick's dubious look."Look man, don't worry about it. I'll be back."  
  
"Nick, I don't think this is a good idea." Warrick takes in Nick's expression, and immediately knows what he is up to.  
  
"Warrick, you didn't see the look on his face in the parking lot. He's dangerous and I don't want anything to happen to her."  
  
"Man, none of us want anything to happen to Sara. I just really don't think it's a good idea."  
  
Catherine walks into the lab at that moment. "What's not a good idea?" she says with a stern look on her face.  
  
"Nick wants to go visit our suspect." Nick throws Warrick an angry glare and addresses Catherine.  
  
"Cat, I just want to talk to him. Maybe get him to leave her alone." His voice is hard with anger that is not directed at her.  
  
"Nick, I know your intentions are good, but I think that will make things worse. Leave him alone."  
  
"But Cath, Brass isn't doing anything to stop this. Joey Harrington is harassing Sara with impunity, and we aren't doing ANYTHING." He is practically yelling at Catherine by the time he finishes.  
  
"I talked to Brass. There isn't anything he can do; there have been no direct threats of violence or harm. He can't very well place a car on Harrington, that would look like favoritism and would rile up everyone else who is being stalked. The department can't afford a lawsuit over this, they already have budget problems. It's up to us." Catherine walks to the younger man and touches his shoulder. "I know you two are close, Nick, but don't let that cloud your judgment."  
  
"Fine Cath, I won't approach him. This is so frustrating; I don't want to tell her what happened, either." He sighs and sits back down, none of them speaking, all of them with the same thought. 'What happens when she does find out?'  
  
**Sedona, AZ**  
  
  
  
Lying on his side in bed, with Sara curled up into his form; Grissom pulls her pajama clad body closer into him. Nestling his face into her neck Grissom starts to drift back to sleep when her voice in dark wakes him.  
  
  
  
"Grissom, you awake?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah."  
  
  
  
"Thank you for bringing me here, I loved it. Everything was perfect."  
  
  
  
"You're welcome, Sara. Maybe we can come back soon."  
  
  
  
"Yeah." He can hear the sleep in her voice and isn't surprised when she stops talking.  
  
  
  
Kissing the top of her head, he swiftly falls asleep also. They need to leave pretty early the next morning in order to be home in time to get their schedules back to the night shift.  
  
  
  
Sara is dead asleep when the ringing of the phone not only wakes her, but initially throws her into a state of panic. Sitting straight up in bed, Sara looks around for a moment, before realizing it's the wake up call they requested the night before. Placing her hand over her shirt, Sara attempts to calm her fiercely beating heart by breathing deeply.  
  
  
  
Grissom had been slightly roused by the phone, but Sara sitting straight up in bed wakens his senses. She is still sitting straight up; he can see her chest rising and falling, quickly at first, then slowing as she regains control.  
  
  
  
"Sara, you ok?" he asks and sits up next to her, one hand on her arm.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, fine. The phone just startled me," she says and gets out of bed, heading for the bathroom like nothing happened.  
  
  
  
"Ok. You sure?" he asks, concerned.  
  
  
  
"Yes Gris, I am sure. How long do I have?" She smiles at him from the bathroom doorjamb.  
  
  
  
"About two hours."  
  
  
  
"Ok." She turns into the bathroom and shouts over her shoulder, "You know, we never did finish that game."  
  
  
  
Grissom shakes his head and starts packing up their stuff; the vacation is over; it is time for the real world to return. Grissom sighs audibly at the thought  
  
  
  
Precisely two hours later, he is checking them out of the hotel and then they're in the Jeep on the way back to Flagstaff. Sara is sitting on the passenger side, looking more relaxed than Grissom has ever seen her in the 10 years he's known her. Grissom himself feels better. He underestimated the effect of a vacation with Sara; he feels years younger, more relaxed.  
  
  
  
Several hours later they are waiting in baggage claim at McCarran for Nick. Sara spots him first and calls his name, waving happily at him. Nick approaches the couple, the knots in his stomach clenching with every step toward them.  
  
  
  
"Hey guys, how was Sedona?" he asks and leads them out to the car.  
  
  
  
"Fabulous. Its so beautiful there, Nick. The sunsets are amazing, nothing like here. How did it go without us? Get a major case?"  
  
  
  
"You could say that," he replies as they all get into the Tahoe. "Listen guys, something happened last night you need to know about now." Taking a deep breath, Nick looks at their confused faces and continues, "Sara's apartment was broken into. No major damage, a picture frame and her medicine cabinet mirror were broken and it looks like a piece of clothing was stolen. The deadbolt was picked open; there are marks. We know Harrington did it, but three hours at her place and we turned up nothing, no hairs, no fibers, not a fingerprint. So he's still out on bail."  
  
  
  
Sara stares at him from her spot in the front passenger seat, disbelieving. "You're kidding, Nick, right? This is a joke." Grissom's hand on her shoulder tells her it's all too real.  
  
  
  
"Sara, I would never kid about this. I am very serious. Brass' hands are tied since we can't prove who it was. You want to go to Grissom's?"  
  
  
  
Sara looks at him. "No. My place."  
  
  
  
"Sara.." Grissom starts from the backseat.  
  
  
  
"NO Grissom, I want to go to my home." By now Sara's hands are starting to shake and she rests her head on the headrest, trying to hold back tears.  
  
  
  
tbc.... 


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Fear  
  
  
  
Author: CSIphile/A-Stepf  
  
  
  
Rating/Disclaimer: PG13 ad yeah, I don't own em.  
  
  
  
Notes: This ones kinda short and all, but have no fear..ha. My plan is to probably start double posting chapters soon (no pressure Meg) cause I want this whole thing wrapped up by the premier, so two weeks. Its all written, I just have to do some final work and get it betaed and BAM! Its all your guys'.  
  
  
  
Thanks: Big thanks to all who have reviewed, you guys seriously kept me going when I was getting incredibly frustrated with this thing. I also really appreciate those who told me I was keeping Sara in character, there were a few sections where I thought I had totally destroyed what the character is, but you guys reassured me. I didn't realize how hard this was going to be, figuring out how Sara would react in this type of psychological warfare. You're the best!! And to Meg, thanks dude, the blue is my favorite part of the beta, I love your comments. Of course to Devanie, who has listened to me whine I don't know how many times, thank you. You guys rock!! And Eolivet.see you on the boards.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Taking a hesitant step into her apartment and dropping her bag, Sara looks around. She isn't sure what to expect, but for the most part, the apartment is as she left it. Entering her living room, she immediately notices the pictures are wrong, and one is indeed missing, her favorite one of her and Grissom. Nick notices the direction of her stare and directs her attention to her dining room table.  
  
  
  
"The picture is fine, the glass is just gone from the frame." She nods silently, moving into the bathroom. Here is the only place that an outsider can tell anything is wrong. There is no mirror in the cabinet door, and all the pieces that had fallen into the sink, in addition to the glass on the kitchen floor, has been cleaned up by Nick and Warrick. Finally moving into her bedroom, Sara pauses at the door frame. She can now sense that someone else has been in here. Slowly looking around, Sara opens one of her dresser drawers, then in swift succession opens them all, with a stricken expression.  
  
  
  
"He was in here. He was in my dresser drawers, my clothes." Her voice is wavering, her stomach threatening to empty its contents.  
  
  
  
"How do you know?" Grissom asks.  
  
  
  
"I just know, it's not exactly right. Trust me, Grissom," she tells him and moves over to the closet, opening the doors, the sinking feeling in her stomach getting worse. Scanning the clothes and doing a mental inventory of what's in her suitcase, Sara instantly knows which shirt is missing. Her hands shaking, she runs her fingers along the row of clothes, double- checking. "My blue long sleeve shirt is missing," she says to Nick, who makes a note for the report.  
  
  
  
"I cant believe he broke into my apartment. This is getting out of control, this doesn't even feel like home anymore. It's not home. Someone was looking through my personal things, touching them." She shudders at the thought.  
  
  
  
"Come on, Sara. We'll go to my place," Grissom says and guides her out of the bedroom, his anger held tightly in check. None of them notice the red blinking light on the answering machine.  
  
  
  
Pacing the living room in his house, Joey holds the blue fabric lightly, not wanting to wrinkle it. Bringing the material close to his face, he breathes in the smell of fabric softener and soap and her. Carefully laying the material down, Joey formulates a plan to make her see how much he loves her and to make her love him back.  
  
  
  
Sara is silent during the entire ride to Grissom's townhouse. He passes several glances her way, but each time she is staring out the window, her body in a defensive posture. Opening his mouth to say something, Grissom decides to wait until they are home and closes his mouth. Sara can feel him staring at her, but she refuses to move or even relax. He doesn't understand, he can't, what it's like to have your life violated like this. Knowing some person with a fixation on you broke into your house and went through your private things.for Sara it's almost too much to handle. Control of her life is slowly slipping through her fingers as the things Joey does cause Sara to alter how she lives. Closing her eyes tightly, Sara wishes this would all go away.  
  
  
  
The stopping of the Tahoe causes her to open her eyes, and she realizes they're at Grissom's. Sliding out of the vehicle, Sara grabs her bag and follows Grissom inside, wanting nothing more that to sleep for a few hours before going to work. Before she can make it into the bedroom, however, Grissom's voice stops her.  
  
  
  
"Sara. I won't ask if you are ok, because its blatantly apparent you're not. What can I do?" he asks and approaches her.  
  
  
  
"Nothing. You can't do anything Gris, seems that no one can." Before she knows it, Sara is pulled into his strong embrace and tears are freely flowing down her cheeks.  
  
  
  
"We will figure something out, Sara. Everyone leaves something behind, we just have to find it." He pulls her away from his chest and wipes her damp face.  
  
  
  
"Doesn't matter, Grissom. First offense, he'll just get probation. And he was RORed for assault; doesn't give me a whole lot of confidence. They won't do anything until I end up in a hospital or dead," she says with a twinge of bitterness, and before he can respond continues, "Look, I am going to lie down for a couple hours before work. You coming?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." As he watches her retreating form, he suddenly feels the need to tell her something. "Sara.I love you, don't forget that." All he gets in return is a wan smile.  
  
  
  
After sleeping for three hours, Sara wakes to an arm slung around her waist and warm breath rustling her hair. Regarding the man next to her, Sara chastises herself for her behavior earlier that evening. He didn't deserve that. Turning carefully on the bed, she faces him and with one finger, lightly traces the lines of his face, memorizing everything. He is the one thing in her life she can depend on, the one thing that is keeping her sane. Sara considers herself a strong person, but for a few moments over the past few weeks she has felt herself weakening, wanting nothing more than to pull the covers over her eyes and pretend none of this is happening. Grissom is always there during those moments. While the rest of her life is crumbling around her, he is there, helping pick up the pieces.  
  
  
  
Glancing at the orange glow of the clock, Sara is surprised at the time. They need to get going in order to make it on time. Regretfully, she calls his name softly until he opens his eyes and looks at her.  
  
  
  
"Time already?" he asks into the pillow.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, we probably should be on time coming back from vacation."  
  
  
  
"Yeah probably." Grissom sighs loudly and sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "You think you can handle working with Nick tonight? I'm sure there will be a pile of paperwork awaiting my arrival tonight, and I would just rather get it all done now."  
  
  
  
"Yes, I can work with Nick tonight. You know you **are** the boss, you don't have to ask me. An order will do," she says with a laugh and hugs him from behind.  
  
  
  
"I warned you about that Sara, watch it. Or else." His tone is light.  
  
  
  
"Or else what?" she asks and drops kisses on his exposed neck.  
  
  
  
"If we had time I could show you. But we don't so.Sara, stop that," he says and pulls her away from his neck. Getting up, he looks back at her and smiles.  
  
  
  
"Show me later?" she says in a low voice.  
  
  
  
"I will, but now you need to get ready to go."  
  
  
  
"Ok. Hey Gris." He turns from the door and she continues, "I'm sorry about the way I acted last night. I.my life is slowly being robbed from me, but you didn't deserve that. I love you too."  
  
  
  
"Sara, I won't let anything happen to you."  
  
  
  
"I know," she says, all the while thinking, 'How can he stop it?'  
  
  
  
Entering the lab that night, Sara is met with concerned faces from the team. Sitting on the couch quietly, the silence is almost overbearing when she finally speaks.  
  
  
  
"You guys don't have to walk on eggshells around me. It's ok, really. It's weird and creepy, but I am determined more than ever not to let this guy ruin my life." Her words are strong, but the emotion behind them isn't.  
  
  
  
"Sara, if you need anything, just let us know. We're here for you." This comes from Catherine and the others quickly nod.  
  
  
  
"Thanks guys," is all she responds with when an annoyed-looking Grissom enters the room, assignment sheets in hand.  
  
  
  
"All right. My fears of a pile of paperwork have come true, I'm going to be spending the rest of the night doing that since we are light, so Nick, work with Sara on this 419. Warrick, you take the robbery, and Catherine, I want you on Sara's case until we can prove who broke in." Catherine nods in agreement; she had already talked to Grissom and requested Sara's case. "On that note, I realize Sara may have you believe that everything is fine, but we really need to keep an eye out for this guy. He could be anywhere and who knows what he's thinking. He's dangerous and we need to keep that in mind. Nick, you watch each others' backs, got that?" The last sentence is said with a firmness that Nick didn't expect, but isn't surprised to hear, considering Grissom and Sara's relationship.  
  
  
  
"No problem, Grissom. I don't want anything to happen to her either."  
  
  
  
"Uh guys? I **am** in the room; can you at least pretend I can hear you?" Sara asks tersely and gives each of the men a glare.  
  
  
  
"Sara, we are just looking out for you," Nick tells her, hoping to diffuse the anger he can feel coming from her.  
  
  
  
Sara looks at his face and sighs, "Sorry. The best thing we can do now though is try and get him for B and E, and maybe he'll be locked up for a while. You ready, Nick? Maybe a nice DB will get my mind off things," she says with a smile and the others chuckle.  
  
  
  
"Nice, Sara. I'm sure Mr.." Nick looks at the assignment sheet, " . Grable is thrilled to provide you with some distraction with his corpse." That elicits a laugh from everyone and Grissom smiles at his team. They truly are family now.  
  
  
  
tbc..........Yeah, I know, nice quiet, boring ending. I'm saving em all for later. Bwhahahahaha. 


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Fear  
  
Author: CSIphile/A-Stepf  
  
  
  
Rating: PG13 as always.  
  
  
  
Notes: Yeah I know I said double posting, it will be soon I promise!  
  
  
  
Thanks: To everyone who reviewed yet again, you guys rock. Meg.the best beta ever, you also rock!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Let's go," Nick continues and follows her out the door, giving Grissom a look that says he will keep her safe.  
  
  
  
"You can talk to me Sara. If you want to, Nick says as they approach the Tahoe.  
  
  
  
"I know, thanks Nick. I'll let you know. Not right now though."  
  
  
  
"Sara, you have to talk to someone. Otherwise you'll go crazy."  
  
  
  
"Did you? Talk to someone, that is?" she asks tentatively, not wanting to invade Nick's privacy.  
  
  
  
"No. My parents only really know the barest details about what happened. I realize now I should have talked to someone. Bottling it up doesn't make it go away, Sara."  
  
  
  
She gives him a small smile and gets into the vehicle, mulling over what he said.  
  
  
  
Returning several hours later, Nick and Sara go their separate ways- Sara to the print lab, Nick dropping DNA off to Greg for processing. Once Sara has the prints she collected in AFIS and is waiting for a match, she walks into Grissom's office and almost laughs. He is sitting behind his desk a pile of paperwork on his left with a smaller pile on his right.  
  
  
  
"Aren't you done with that?" she asks and tries to restrain the smile that is forming on her lips.  
  
  
  
"No. Apparently, as punishment for taking my first vacation in 5 years, Ecklie pulls every open file and wants a status report." He sighs and closes the file he is working on, moving it to the pile on the right.  
  
  
  
"Well was your vacation worth it?" She smiles now and slinks into the room, leaning over his desk with her elbows on the hard surface.  
  
  
  
"Absolutely. Best vacation I've ever had." He smiles back at her and has to resist closing the gap of mere inches between their lips and kissing her.  
  
  
  
"Good. I need to check my prints, see you later," she practically whispers and stands straight up, leaving the room.  
  
  
  
After getting her results, Sara goes looking for Nick; she has a hit on her prints. Before she can get far though, the person she is looking for makes an appearance in the door, a pleased look plastered on his face.  
  
  
  
"CODIS got a hit," he announces before she can say anything.  
  
  
  
"Me too, let's see if they match. Show me yours and I'll show you mine," she says approaches him, trying to look at the report in his hand. Nick turns it to her and is rewarded with a huge smile from the brunette, and he knows they have a match.  
  
  
  
"Lemme guess. Your prints came up Daniel Kinder?"  
  
  
  
"Sure did. Let's call Brass and get Kinder in here."  
  
  
  
After sitting in on what seems to Sara as the shortest interview/confession ever, she again finds Grissom in his office. The pile of papers is smaller, but still significant.  
  
  
  
"So our suspect confessed almost before he sat down, never seen anything like it. Looks like you'll be working on that paperwork for a while yet." At his exasperated look, Sara gives him an understanding smile and continues. "I am going to head home and unpack."  
  
  
  
"Sara, why don't you just go to my place? He knows where you live, it's not safe anymore." His paperwork forgotten, Grissom looks up her, willing to do anything to keep her safe.  
  
  
  
"Grissom, if he wanted to get into my apartment while I was there, he would have before. He's too cowardly to do it while I'm there. He is afraid of getting caught right? That's why he wore gloves. He won't try again with me there; he has to know I'll shoot him on the spot." She gives him a forced smile at the last part of the sentence. "Besides, I need to unpack. If it will make you feel better, I'll go to my place, unpack, then head to your townhouse when you get home, ok?"  
  
  
  
"Fine. But at least take Warrick or Nick with you."  
  
  
  
"NO Grissom. Listen, I need to be alone for a while. I'll be fine at my apartment. I need to prove to myself that I am not scared of him. I need to.stand on my own."  
  
  
  
"I understand that you enjoy your independence, but that's no reason to become lax and not think about what you are doing."  
  
  
  
"How can you even think." she starts but is quickly cut off.  
  
  
  
"I don't think you can't take care of yourself Sara, I know perfectly well that you can. I just don't want you to make a decision based solely on wanting to prove to him that this isn't affecting you." He can sense her emotional change before she shows outward signs of being angry.  
  
  
  
"You think I would do that? That I would disregard all the training I have received and place myself in danger for the sake of proving a point? You know me better than that." Sara honestly can't believe he would think she would do that. She tries not to become angry at him, but with each passing moment and with the thoughts swirling in her head, it becomes more difficult. As she is thinking, Grissom gets out of the chair and approaches her, lightly grabbing her small hands in his.  
  
  
  
"Sara, understand something. I don't think you would do it intentionally, I do know you better then that. Your passion, however, for getting the suspect tends to override your survival instinct. I love you Sara, more than you know, and I don't want anything to happen to you. You seem to be in some kind of denial about the severity of this situation, you think that if you ignore him he'll go away. Well he won't, Sara, and you need to accept that your life has changed until we catch him."  
  
  
  
"Denial? You think I'm denying what is happening to me? I am well aware of what is going on Grissom. I am the one getting notes and gifts and my apartment broken into." She pulls away from him and takes a step back.  
  
  
  
"Sara," he says patiently. "That's not what I'm saying. You are in denial about the effect this is having on you, not that it's happening. You refuse to accept that things have to change for a while and that is going to get you injured." He can see her considering what he'd said.  
  
  
  
"Look, I understand your concern, but I can take care of myself. I am armed, for Gods sake. I am going to my apartment, unpacking, and when you get home, call me. I'll come over. Okay?" Her tone is non-negotiable.  
  
  
  
"Sara."  
  
  
  
"O-kay?"  
  
  
  
"Fine. If Eck didn't threaten my job if I didn't do this and want a status report when he got in, I would come with you. You know, forget Ecklie, I am coming with you." He turns to his desk to close the files.  
  
  
  
"Grissom, no. Finish. Doesn't look like you have that much and I will be fine, I promise. I'll meet you at your place in let's say.two hours?"  
  
  
  
"Ok," he says, decidedly nervous about letting her go alone.  
  
  
  
Entering her quiet apartment, Sara tries to shake off the feeling that this is no longer home. Dropping her bag by the island, she again fails to notice the answering machine's light blinking furiously at her.  
  
  
  
Looking around, she realizes all her belongings feel like they are owned by someone else, that she isn't the only person to touch and use them. The dining room table. The computer. The couch that she and Grissom slept on together. Walking into her bedroom, the uneasy feeling only intensifies. He rifled through her clothes, maybe her jewelry. Did he touch her bed or only pass by it on the way to the closet? Did he lay on it, breathing in the fresh scent of her sheets and comforter? Did he do things she doesn't want to think about? That thought makes her shudder and before she can stop herself, Sara has stripped off the sheets and blankets, curling them into a tight ball in the corner of the room. Walking into her linen closet, she picks out another set of sheets, ready to put them on the bed when she wonders if he went through there too, touching her towels and sheets, those things that are closest to her body beside her underwear. Spinning around, she opens the drawer with her bras and panties in it. What she sees only confirms what she noticed with Grissom and Nick. Things had been moved, but nothing's missing, as far as she can tell.  
  
  
  
Staring back at her unmade bed, Sara is overwhelmed with the feelings of being violated. Nothing is hers anymore, everything is tainted by him, she doesn't know what he touched and what he didn't, what he did while he was here. It makes her nervous being in her own house. She finally realizes what this feel like, like she is an animal at the zoo, trapped in a cage that the zookeeper can look into anytime he wants. The emotions come crashing down on her like an avalanche and she can feel her whole body starting to shake. She feels lightheaded, exhausted, like her throat is closing and she can't breathe. Sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, Sara rests her head on the bare mattress, trying to get control. Taking deep breaths, she closes her eyes for what she intends to only be a moment, but swiftly falls into a deep sleep.  
  
  
  
**She is running, her breath coming out in ragged spurts, her feet pounding on the ground. Sara doesn't know where she is; only that someone is chasing her and she needs to get away. The fear of the person after her propels her to run faster than she thought she could. Her chest constricts in fear and exhaustion, she is lightheaded and everything seems fuzzy, out of focus. Coming to a stop, she looks around and realizes she is in the lab, but it's silent. No one appears to be here, which is odd; even at 4 am there is noise in the lab, someone is always working round the clock. Turning right, she runs down the hall to Grissom's office, her tennis shoes squeaking on the vinyl flooring. Without even turning around, she can sense the person after her. He is gaining, his slow steps catching up to her quick ones.  
  
  
  
Terror overcomes her and she almost runs right past her destination. Coming to a halt at Grissom's office, she tries to open the door but finds it locked. Banging hard on it, she screams his name. Her rational brain tells her to keep moving, but something else makes her stay put. Jiggling the handle, she can hear Joey's voice calling her name down the hall, closer, getting ever so closer. Screaming, she tries the handle again. This time it turns and the door opens, spilling her into the room. Slamming the door behind her, she locks it and turns to look for Grissom, seeing him sitting at his desk, turned away from her.  
  
  
  
She approaches him, saying his name, but her voice is hollow in her ears, like she is yelling down a wind tunnel. Everything is moving so slow now. She can't seem to reach him; every time she gets close it feels like he is pulled away from her. Without warning, the chair shifts and Grissom is revealed to her fully, a bullet hole clear in his right temple, his beautiful blue eyes closed and his skin a pasty grey of the long dead.**  
  
  
  
Sara sits straight up and screams. Blinking furiously to get the image out of her head, she is relieved to find herself at home, still sitting on the floor and not in Grissom's office. Taking a deep breath, she tries to banish the picture of Grissom dead with a bullet in his brain, but doesn't succeed. She resists the urge to call him- that would only worry him further and she doesn't want that. Shivering, she slowly gets up, noticing her shirt is soaked with sweat. Stripping it off, she goes to the closet and grabs her Harvard sweatshirt, trying not to think of Joey's hands all over it.  
  
  
  
Wondering how long she was out for, Sara looks at her watch and realizes she was only sleeping for 30 minutes or so. Taking stock of the mess she made, Sara throws the comforter back on the bed sans sheets, rolls up the old sheets and places them in the hamper. Walking into the kitchen and getting her bag from beside the island, Sara finally notices the blinking light on the machine. 'Did I miss a call while sleeping?' she thinks and looks at the display. Twenty four.  
  
  
  
"Twenty four messages? Who called me..oh my God," she says aloud and stares at the numbers, certain that the dream is still making her mind fuzzy. That can't possibly say twenty four. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she wills the number away, but upon opening her eyes and looking again, the numbers haven't changed. Cautiously, she places one shaking finger on the play button, hesitant to even press the green plastic square. 'Damn it Sara, just push the button and be done with it. Get a spine,' she thinks to herself and does just that. Waiting for the whirring of the tape to stop, Sara is aware of her stomach clenching into knots. The machine stops its rewinding and she hears the gears switching from rewind to play. 'Wonder how many moving parts are in an answering machine,' she thinks as Joey's voice cuts into the silent apartment.  
  
  
  
tbc..........bwhahahahahahaha. I am cruel. Do I retain the title of Cliffhanger Queen? Seriously, I hope to have the next chapter up today or tomorrow. 


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Fear  
  
Author: CSIphile/A-Stepf  
  
  
  
Disclaimers/Rating: Same as always.  
  
  
  
Notes: Sorry this took so long, we had some beta confusion! But the bonus cause I made you wait so long?? Two chapters tonight!! Yay!!! But you may not be yaying me at the end of chapter 17. Heh. Anyway, my hope of posting all of this before the premier, isn't going to happen, what you are reading now is a big section I added and there is just no way my beta can work that fast (as good as she is). Plus look at the chapter numbers, they changed cause I am an idiot and cant count (math.not my strong suit, science, I was all about the science). I missed 8 chapters somehow.I don't know how. Anyway, enjoy and hopefully the next chapters will be up soon!  
  
  
  
Thanks: Of course to Meg for being a fabulous beta.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Sara, I know you aren't there, I saw you leave. Why, Sara? I love you. I have done nothing but show you. Why can't you see we are meant for each other." Static and the click of the phone follow his words.  
  
  
  
"You have to love me Sara, how can you not? I will convince you, I will."  
  
  
  
One hand over her mouth and one across her stomach, Sara listens to 10 more from that day. When the date/time stamp changes, she knows that the next 14 messages are from after he broke in.  
  
  
  
"Such lovely things you have, Sara. Nice pictures of you and friends. I am sure they are worried, but there is no need to be. I would never hurt them, Sara."  
  
  
  
She notices that his voice now has a hard edge to it. He is becoming desperate and angry.  
  
  
  
"Well Sara, you have been gone for almost two days. With the older man in those pictures. Who is he, Sara? That's who I have to win your heart from. Shouldn't be a problem, he is twice your age and doesn't deserve you."  
  
  
  
"I love you, Sara. You will learn to love me too."  
  
  
  
Gripping onto the table for support, she forwards through to the last message and is shocked. His voice terrifies her, he is getting angrier and angrier at her. Fury is evident even on the static tape.  
  
  
  
"Well Sara, one call to the labs and I know you are on vacation with your boss. That can't be a good career move, can it? Sleeping with the boss, wonder what would happen if everyone found out? Would he leave you to keep his job? Probably, because he doesn't LOVE you the way I do SAR-A. I will treat you so much better than him, don't worry about it. Once he leaves you, you will have to love me, there won't be anyone else."  
  
  
  
Her finger lingering over the red delete button, the investigator in her takes over and she opens the tape compartment, removing the cassette and placing it safely in her bag. Taking the bag into her bedroom, she quickly removes the dirty clothes and repacks. She can't stay here another minute. She is officially losing what little control she had and Grissom's is the only safe place she has left. The only place he hasn't infected.  
  
  
  
Using the extra key she never returned, and he never asked for back, Sara lets herself into his townhouse. Placing her bag in the bedroom, she removes the answering machine tape and carries it with her into the living room, where she sets it down on the glass coffee table. Sitting down, Sara brings her knees up to her chest, wraps her arms around and places her chin on them, staring intently at the piece of plastic with magnetic tape in it.  
  
  
  
She doesn't even realize the passage of time until a key in the lock gets her attention, but she doesn't move from the couch, still focused on the tape. The one thing that could destroy her and Grissom's relationship before it even has a chance to start. Turning in the tape means exposing what they have, but not handing it over means that Joey can't be brought in for violating his bail. Her brain is so muddled she can't even decide what to do.  
  
  
  
Grissom walks in and starts to call Sara's name before he notices her sitting on his couch, very still, staring at something.  
  
  
  
"Sara," he calls and walks over to her, concerned when she doesn't even acknowledge him. "Sara, are you ok?" he asks, again trying to get her attention. He knows something has happened, but what he doesn't know what.  
  
  
  
Approaching her from behind, he reaches out and touches her shoulder. Instead of turning to him, however, Sara starts from his touch and pulls away.  
  
  
  
Walking around the couch, Grissom's apprehension increases as he sees the faraway look in her eyes. Following her gaze, he notices the answering machine tape and furrows his eyebrows in confusion.  
  
  
  
"Sara," he says softly and sits next to the brunette, who doesn't even so much as turn in his direction. "Sara, what happened?"  
  
  
  
Finally she looks at him, and he damn near moves back from the look on her face. Her expression is one of dread, but her eyes are what really frightens him. They are dead, the usual intelligence and wit he sees are gone, replaced by something dark and not Sara.  
  
  
  
Finally focusing on him, Sara speaks. "Twenty four messages from him. Twenty three times he called me, told me he loves me and will never stop trying to convince me. One time he threatened us; he knows we went on vacation. He threatened to tell the department about us. That could destroy our careers Gris, and would you give up your job for me?"  
  
  
  
"Yes. You mean more to me than my career. Sara, we have to turn that tape in, it will put him behind bars. The judge ordered him to have no contact with you." Sudden fear flashes in her eyes and he continues. "We will work something out, I'll talk to Brass before we do, tell him what is going on. He has to be stopped, and this is the only way."  
  
  
  
Nodding, she slowly leans into him, taking comfort in the heat of his body and his arms wrapped around her shoulders. For the first time since waking up from her earlier nightmare, Sara feels warm. "After some sleep," she says quietly and barely hears his ok before falling into sleep again.  
  
  
  
**Hands, grabbing at her, pulling her under. She can't breathe. She struggles to the surface of the water, gets in half a breath before being dragged back under. She can't see anyone, can only feel them touching her feet, legs, her waist, holding her under. Her lungs are screaming for air. She yells under the murky water, which accomplishes nothing but allowing water to fill her lungs. Struggling against the hands, she almost makes it up to the surface, but it's too late. Her lungs are now on fire, her head is fuzzy, and consciousness is slipping away. Sara knows what is happening; the oxygen in her cells is being used but isn't being replaced, and the carbon dioxide isn't being released. She is slowly suffocating. As the hands succeed in killing her, Sara's last thought is of Grissom.**  
  
  
  
Waking with a start, Sara looks around and realizes she is still on the couch with Grissom. Taking several ragged breaths to confirm that she can, Sara tries to remove herself from his embrace, only to wake him in the process.  
  
  
  
"Hey, you ok?" he asks and strokes her hair, surprised to find it damp from sweat. Opening his eyes, Grissom looks at her in the dim light and can see she is pale and breathing oddly. "Sara? Talk to me."  
  
  
  
"Fine. Nightmare, go back to sleep."  
  
  
  
Waking fully now, he pulls her into his chest and whispers. "You don't have to be strong for me, Sara. Please, talk to me."  
  
  
  
"It was just a nightmare, don't worry about it."  
  
  
  
"Sara, you know perfectly well what I am talking about. You are trying to be strong for everyone, I can see that. But you can't be strong all the time Sara, you have to let it out. Let me do that for you, please."  
  
  
  
Quietly, she starts to talk, an almost detached tone in her voice. "It's the strangest feeling, Grissom. I can't describe it. Someone I don't know touched my things, looked through my life. It's unsettling at best. I feel off-balance, like I'm on one of those gymnastic beams and I have one leg on and one off. And I'm trying so hard to balance on that one foot, but I'm losing the battle. That feeling right when you know you are going to fall, you know what I mean? The sense that you have lost control and there is nothing you can do to stop what's happening. You just have to allow yourself to fall and hope the landing isn't too hard. I feel like I am perpetually in that state of almost falling. I can't fall, Grissom..I can't. I can't lose control like that."  
  
  
  
"I have never lied to you, Sara. Not once, so I refuse to tell you that everything is fine and will be ok. I don't know that. But I can promise you I will do everything in my power to make this go away. Don't forget you have me, I will be here for you."  
  
  
  
Nodding, she turns over on the couch, so they are now facing each other. Tilting her head up slightly, she kisses him lightly and positions her head in crook of his shoulder. Breathing in the scent of shampoo, soap and a little bit of the lab, Sara falls into sleep not plagued by dreams.  
  
  
  
She wakes the next morning to an empty bed. 'Wait a minute. Bed?' she thinks and sits up quickly, realizing Grissom must have moved her into his bedroom at some point. Feeling better then last night, Sara stretches her muscles and gets up, walking into the kitchen to find Grissom on the phone with someone, Grissom mostly listening and making noises in the affirmative. Making her way to the coffee maker, she gives him a quizzical look and receives a signal for 'one minute' back to her. After pouring her coffee, Sara leans against the kitchen counter, waiting patiently for him to finish talking. As he turns to her, she notices the tape in his hands and knows what they are discussing. Looking down into the swirling brown liquid, Sara doesn't hear him hang up the phone. When he calls her name, she starts, and some of the coffee spills over the sides of the mug, burning her fingers slightly.  
  
  
  
"Ouch." She places the mug on the counter, grabbing a towel to wipe up the mess.  
  
  
  
"You ok?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah, fine. Who was that?" She tosses the paper towel in the garbage.  
  
  
  
"Brass. We need to go in early to talk to him and Mobley. Then we can process the tape and get a warrant out for Harrington. Brass is going to clear the way for us to stay together and not lose our jobs, hopefully. Joey can't have control over us if everyone knows. Are you prepared for that?" He gets a good look at her for the first time since early yesterday and is shocked by her appearance. Her skin is paler than usual and he can see charcoal circles under her eyes. The contrast gives her the appearance of a body in the morgue, and it disturbs him. Looking into her beautiful brown eyes, he knows something is wrong, missing maybe, he isn't sure.  
  
  
  
"I don't have a choice. He made it for me. God Grissom, that makes me so angry. I want to keep us quiet for a bit longer, you know, enjoy our time without wondering what everyone thinks about me sleeping with the boss. Wow, that sounds really bad, doesn't it?" At the last sentence Sara smiles slightly. For some reason it sounds funny to her said out loud. Swiftly, however, her mood changes and anger crosses her features again. "I don't like it. He is forcing us to do this, the decision isn't really ours to make anymore."  
  
  
  
tbc.............now! 


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Fear  
  
Author: CSIphile/A-Stepf  
  
  
  
Disclaimers/Rating: STRONG PG13 for well, lets call it disturbing imagery. I don't own em.  
  
  
  
Authors Notes: Yay!! Two chapters, hopefully another soon!  
  
  
  
Thanks: Same as before, to Meg and all you fabulous readers.you rock!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She shifts in her seat for the fifth time in under a minute. Waiting is the worst. Mobley told them to come in early and he isn't even here yet. Sara's annoyance grows with every second that passes by and she can tell that her constant moving is starting to get on Grissom's nerves.  
  
  
  
"Sara."  
  
  
  
"Sorry, sorry. I'm anxious. I just want to know what's going to happen. I.." The door opening interrupts her.  
  
  
  
"Sorry. Held up by the mayor." Sitting in his chair, Mobley can be an intimidating force to most people, but he isn't to Gil Grissom. "I spoke with Brass about your.relationship, and Sara's stalker." Grissom looks over as Sara visibly cringes at the word.  
  
  
  
"Brian, look. We don't want to make either thing a major issue. I don't know that there is anything in the book specifically prohibiting our personal relationship." He is cut off by Mobley waving a hand in their direction.  
  
  
  
"First, Joey Harrington is a major issue. Stalkers are no laughing matter, Gil. Second, I checked on the books and since the criminalistics department is not technically part of the PD, there isn't anything prohibiting a relationship. But let me make this clear, if there is one hint of impropriety, any sign of your personal status at work, then we have a problem and I will be forced to do something. You treat Sara the way you always have. Are we understood?"  
  
  
  
"Clear as day," Grissom confirms and Sara nods in agreement.  
  
  
  
"Ok, back to work. Get A/V working on that tape. Don't worry about what's on it, it's a non-issue."  
  
  
  
"Thank you, Brian," Sara says and smiles at the older man, only receiving a nod in response.  
  
  
  
Walking down the hall, Grissom looks at a quiet Sara. He knows what Mobley said about bringing in their personal relationship, but at that second all he wants to do is hug her tightly. They are that much closer to getting Harrington behind bars and now that Mobley knows about them, he feels almost relieved. Approaching the locker room, he stops her with one hand on her wrist.  
  
  
  
"Hey. You ok? You're awfully quiet."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, fine. I guess I was just expecting to have to argue with him. It seemed too easy."  
  
  
  
"I know. But if there isn't a policy, then there isn't. He can't create one now." He smiles at her, receiving back her famous large grin, but the look reminds him of that morning and instantaneously he knows what is wrong. Her spark is gone, that which makes Sara, Sara, has vanished.  
  
  
  
Opening the door to follow her, Grissom finds Warrick in the room. Just the person he is looking for. Casting a glance at Sara, he turns to Warrick and shows him the tape.  
  
  
  
"Harrington left several messages on this tape for Sara while we were gone. I need you to transcribe them and then bring them to the DA so she can issue a warrant. He violated the judge's orders not to contact her. This is all you do tonight, got it?"  
  
  
  
"No problem, man." Looking over at the quiet brunette, Warrick addresses her. "We will get him, Sara."  
  
  
  
She nods quietly at him and turns to her locker, placing her bag and coat in it and removing her lab jacket, all but ignoring Grissom. A light hand on her shoulder forces Sara to face him.  
  
  
  
"Sara, if you want to take some time off, you can." He knows she will refuse, but he needs to say something to get her talking. Since he came home last night, she has been abnormally quiet, withdrawing into herself.  
  
  
  
"I don't want to do that, Gris. Work is all I have that is still normal.well, as normal as this job can be. I am not giving this up too." For one instant he recognizes his Sara, the one from weeks ago before all this started.  
  
  
  
"Ok, well then let's get to work." He smiles and holds open the locker room door for her.  
  
  
  
Meeting the team in the break room, and after a round of making sure Sara is alright, Grissom hands out assignments. Catherine and Nick work a robbery/homicide and Grissom takes another homicide for himself and Sara.  
  
  
  
"Sara, I am going to check on Warrick. Meet me at the Tahoe in fifteen, okay?" Receiving a nod, he heads out to the A/V lab, only to be stopped by Catherine in the hall.  
  
  
  
"Gil, are you sure she should be here?" she asks, and for the first time, she notices the dark circles under his eyes, matching the young woman who they are talking about. Catherine could tell the moment Sara walked into the break room that she wasn't herself. The way she carried herself, her body language, was different, like she was only going through the motions of existing, but not actually **living**. The confident stride, the intelligent sparkle only matched by Grissom, was missing. Catherine may not know Sara as well as the others, but she easily recognized this as early symptoms of depression.  
  
  
  
"It's all she has, Catherine, I can't ask her to give that up." Looking around and lowering his voice, Grissom confides in his friend. "Sara is gone, Catherine. The Sara I know and love, the one from before this started, hell, the one from last week, is gone. I don't know exactly when it happened and I don't know what to do. She confides in me, but I get the impression she is still hiding something. She is scared, angry, confused.I think she is slipping into depression and she **is** slipping away from me. All I want is to make this go away and I don't know how."  
  
  
  
"Just be there for her, Gil. Make sure she knows that, and don't take no for an answer. Stay near her, even if all you can do is hold her hand, she won't feel so alone. Keep an eye on her, Gil; she may need to talk to someone who is a professional."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, thanks Catherine. I will, though pulling teeth would be easier than getting Sara to go to a psychiatrist." He smiles at the redhead and walks away, debating if he should risk Sara's fury by ordering her to the department psychologist.  
  
  
  
Walking into the A/V lab, Grissom finds a furiously transcribing Warrick. Looking at the younger man, Grissom can see the concern for his colleague etched on his face.  
  
  
  
"How's it going?" he asks and Warrick almost jumps out of his seat.  
  
  
  
"Jeez man, warn people when you sneak up on them. Fine, the DA asked me to transcribe the worst of the calls for now, so I concentrated on the ones post-break in. Apparently, Brass asked her to push it and she found a judge willing to look at some tonight. I should be done and have warrant in hand before you get back. Have you listened to this yet?"  
  
  
  
"Some, not all."  
  
  
  
"This guy has problems man, serious ones. He never directly threatens her, only your careers. I can only imagine what Sara is going through."  
  
  
  
"Sara is.coping," Grissom states and leaves Warrick to his task.  
  
  
  
True to his and the DA's word, when Grissom and Sara return from their scene, Warrick is suiting up to head out with Brass to bring in Harrington for violating the judge's orders.  
  
  
  
Waving the warrant in one hand, Warrick looks at both of them in the hall and smiles. "Little bit longer, Sara, and this will be all over."  
  
  
  
The brunette only manages a small smile in his direction before Grissom speaks.  
  
  
  
"I'm coming with you. Sara, stay here with Nick and Catherine and process the evidence we brought back."  
  
  
  
"Yeah I know. As the victim, I can't be near the investigation. I just want to see him brought in, ok?"  
  
  
  
"You can do that, from a distance. Do not go near him, understand me?"  
  
  
  
"I'm not five, Gris. I understand." She rolls her eyes at him and for another moment that evening the old Sara has retuned. Relief washes through him with the thought of bringing in Harrington. Both himself and Warrick choose to ignore the fact that Harrington could post bail and yet again be out on the street. But at least this time they have grounds for a restraining order, maybe.  
  
  
  
"C'mon Gris, we gotta go." Warrick prods him.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, I am ready for this to be over with, let's go." Giving Sara a smile, he follows Warrick outside to meet with Brass.  
  
  
  
Processing the evidence takes Sara little time, especially considering that Nick has come over to help her. Now he watches her pace the floor of the break room, constantly looking at the clock. They should be just about at Harrington's place, knocking on his door, bringing him in. Watching her making circles, the next time she passes by him, Nick reaches out one hand and captures her wrist.  
  
  
  
"Sar, you are giving me a headache. Stop that." He receives a sheepish grin in return.  
  
  
  
"Sorry. I am going down by booking to wait. You wanna come?"  
  
  
  
"Why are you so anxious to see this guy, Sara? Seems like you would want to stay away from him."  
  
  
  
"I just want to see him put away for a while. I'm not dumb, Nick. He may be out again come morning. Hopefully a restraining order will stop him. Are you coming?"  
  
  
  
"Yes, Grissom would kill me if I left you alone anyway." He shakes his head and follows her out of the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
They knock on the door hard, yelling for Harrington to open up. When no noise is heard from inside the small house, Brass gives the signal to break open the door. Shrugging at Warrick and Grissom, his only explanation is, "Sometimes I can bend the rules a bit. This is one of those times."  
  
  
  
Once the banging has ceased and the police have entered and searched, finding no sign of Harrington, Warrick and Grissom are finally allowed in, only to be greeted by the madness of a stalker. One wall of the living room is covered in pictures of Sara, some taken before she even knew about him, some very recent. Some of the more recent ones have writing on them and Sara's face crossed out. Glancing through the pictures, Grissom recognizes the outfit she was wearing the night they returned from Sedona. 'He's been watching her every move for weeks,' he thinks and looks over at his colleague, who is also looking at the pictures, astonishment on his face.  
  
  
  
"How many?" Warrick asks.  
  
  
  
"Ball-parking it? At least 100." His voice is laden with alarm.  
  
  
  
"Jeez." Before Warrick can continue, Brass calling Grissom's name from another room gets their attention. Following his voice into a bedroom, the men find another wall similar to the one in the living room. But while all the photos in the living room are of Sara alone, all the pictures in this room are different. Someone was obviously in these photos with her, but whoever it was has been removed. Either the photo is ripped or the person is simply cut around. In some, they can tell who was in the picture with her, and it seems that all the members of the team have been removed, including Catherine. These also have writing on them, the wording, however, is more hostile then on the others.  
  
  
  
"Wow, probably another hundred in here. I guess I didn't realize how serious this is." Warrick looks around again and finally settles on Grissom, who has a tight look on his face. He can feel the anger radiating off the older man in waves.  
  
  
  
"With this evidence, hopefully we can put him away for a while. Let's get to our jobs."  
  
  
  
Working in silence for almost thirty minutes, Grissom almost forgets Warrick is there as he takes photos of the walls before removing the pictures placed there. Slowly working his way from the living room into the spare bedroom, Grissom runs into Warrick in the hall, who is holding what looks like shampoo in one latex-covered hand.  
  
  
  
"Do you know what kind of shampoo Sara uses?" he asks quickly, not giving a thought to who he is asking the question. Normally this would be an odd conversation.  
  
  
  
"Sure."  
  
  
  
"This it?" Holding up the plastic container, Warrick gets his answer when Grissom's face falls.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, that's it. Bag it."  
  
  
  
"Yup. I am going to head into the master bedroom, ok?" He isn't sure that Grissom should be there; even Warrick doesn't want to go. He is almost sure what he will find on the sheets. The thought is creepy.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, let me know what you find."  
  
  
  
Warrick breathes a silent sigh of relief and enters the room. Turning on the light, it looks like a normal male bedroom. Bed, dresser, night table, and lamp. Surprisingly, he finds no pictures of Sara in here, but doing a quick scan, he sees something out of place. Walking to the one night stand, he confirms what he thought he saw- a necklace, one he is sure is Sara's. Warrick can remember her wearing it twice before, he's not a trained investigator for nothing. When she'd first worn it, he'd thought the dangling part looked like a small hardware washer. Sighing, he bags the necklace, places it by his kit and grabs the ALS. 'Do they really need to know this? It's not like there was a murder or rape here, how much information do we really need?' he wonders, hooking the machine up. 'All the information, man, all of it. You can't catch someone if you don't understand them fully.'  
  
  
  
Turning off the overhead light and switching on the ALS, Warrick slowly runs the machine over the bed sheets, noting where he sees stains. Just as he is finishing, Grissom appears in the doorway, looking disturbed.  
  
  
  
"How bad is it?"  
  
  
  
"Bad. It's a single man, you expect some..stains. But this is out of control. I cant even begin to count. The ALS always shows something, there is almost no break."  
  
  
  
"All right, let's get back to the lab, process and get all this to the DA so they can issue an extended restraining order."  
  
  
  
"If they can find him."  
  
  
  
"Yeah."  
  
  
  
  
  
Sara and Nick are passing by the front desk on the way to booking when the receptionist calls Sara's name.  
  
  
  
"Sidle. You have a call holding on 3. You want to pick it up here?" she asks and indicates a bank of phones to Sara's right.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, sure," she shakily replies, ignoring the look that Nick is giving her.  
  
  
  
"Sara, this isn't a good idea," he states as she picks up the receiver, throws him an I-don't-care look, and presses 3.  
  
  
  
tbc.......hahahahaha! I am cruel! I said you would regret getting chapter 17! 


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Fear  
  
Author: CSIphile/A-Stepf  
  
  
  
Disclaimers/Rating: I don't own em. PG13 for strong language  
  
  
  
Thanks: Woo hoo!! 18 of 28 a mere 10 more chapters to go, coming down the home stretch now! I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me. I know it's long; I never expected it to be. This fic was supposed to be like 15,000 words, that's what I had planned. The best intentions.often go right out the window, 55,000 words later it's done and I am shaking my head. Challenge to myself: Write a vignette. Anyway, the moral here is you guys rock, the feedback is fabulous, lets me know that my extra words were not wasted. We really start to pick up steam here soon, have no fear, Mr. Harrington has gone nowhere. Special thanks to the G/S list and message board, you guys make this such a positive experience, man I am sappy today.geez. Big thanks to Meg of course, if she wasn't around y'all would be cringing at my bad grammar.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Sidle," Her voice is firm, giving no indication of the inner turmoil of the speaker.  
  
"Why, Sara? Right now your friends are leaving my house, taking my things, things that remind me of you, Sara. Why would you send them? I know you did. I just want you to understand how much I love you. We can be together if you give me a chance."  
  
She shakes for a moment when she realizes what he just said. They left his house without him. Joey isn't in custody. "No, I won't give you a chance. You are sick, Joey. If you come in, someone can help you."  
  
"I'm not SICK, Sara. But I will find you, don't worry about that. You will be mine, one way or the other. Your boyfriend? He's a little old for you, don't you think? Wouldn't take much to get rid of him, a little scare and he would probably stroke out. What do you think? Then you would have to come to me, there wouldn't be anyone else."  
  
Nick watches as Sara's face blanches to a ghostly white. Immediately he takes one step to her, keeping himself within arm's reach.  
  
"Listen to me, you bastard. You make one move to him.."  
  
"What? And you'll come after me? Haven't you figured out that's what I want? Don't worry, your boyfriend is safe. He isn't what I want anyway. See you soon, love."  
  
With that, the line goes dead and Sara looks at Nick with a horrified expression. Hanging up the phone, she turns to her friend and almost breaks down in tears. Nick can see her trying to hold back crying, so quickly he wraps an arm around her shoulder and guides her into Grissom's office, sitting them down on the matching chairs in front of the desk.  
  
"Sara. That was him, but what did he say? Shouldn't he be in custody?"  
  
"He..he wasn't there. He was watching them drive away, Nick. They don't have him. Its not even close to over." With that she stops talking and looks at her hands, slowly picking at her fingernails.  
  
"Sar, what else did he say? Sara?" he asks and pushes some hair away from her face.  
  
"Nothing," Is her first sharp answer before looking up at Nick. 'He wants to help,' she thinks. "He is determined though, I give him that. He threatened Grissom but then said he wouldn't hurt him, how can I trust that? I.I don't know what to do, Nick. I have never been so confused before. I can't make a decision without second guessing myself. Even getting dressed without wondering if **he** will see me and think I wore it for him."  
  
"We will get him, Sara. This isn't the number one lab in the country with the best solve rate for nothing." When that doesn't even illicit a smile from her, Nick pulls her into an embrace, concern for her mental well-being growing. Sara is a strong person, but how much of this can anyone be expected to take? Voices from outside the closed door bring Nick back to reality. Looking down at Sara's head, he kisses it lightly and says her name.  
  
"Sara. They're back, come on." He releases her and is surprised to see she had not shed one tear. For some reason, that elevates his concern. Sara pulls away from him and stands quietly. "Come on," he says again and guides her out to the layout room, wondering what the guys had found.  
  
Grissom and Warrick are so focused on organizing the pictures now laid out on the table in front of them, neither one notices the two figures in the doorway until Sara gasping gets their attention.  
  
"Oh.my.God. These were in his house? All these?" She looks at Grissom with a desperate expression.  
  
"Yes. Sara you need to know something."  
  
"He wasn't there, you don't have him. He was watching you, you know. As you searched his house, he was watching you from somewhere."  
  
Grissom looks at the other men, confused. Warrick shares his look, but Nick wears an expression of knowing. "Sara, how can you know that?"  
  
"He called here, as you were leaving. He was watching you, he was rather.upset that you removed all the stuff that reminds him of me." That said, she turns back to the photographs, separated into piles of with writing and without. Slowing putting on gloves, Sara watches her hand as it reaches out to the pile with writing, almost against her will, and shifts though them. The men watch her do this, a faraway expression on her face.  
  
"Sara, you don't need to see those," Warrick says and reaches out to stop her, lightly grabbing her forearm.  
  
Violently, Sara pulls her hand back and fixes him an angry look. "Yes I do. I want to know, I need to know." Going back to looking, Sara reads the writing hastily written across her face. Most are derogatory terms, with bitch, slut and whore appearing to be his favorites, as they repeat on several pictures. Finding one at the bottom, this one of her at a crime scene, she sees that this one is different. On this one he had written 'I never believed in love at first sight, but I do now'. Looking for visual clues in the surroundings, Sara recognizes it as a case from almost six weeks ago, shortly after she saw him for the first time.  
  
She turns to Grissom with a detached look on her face, like none of this is affecting her. In a clinical tone, she speaks to him. "What's next? Bring him in again, he posts bail and gets out. That's if we can find him, a smart guy would be halfway to Mexico by now. Issuing an extended restraining order if they can serve him? Not that that will stop him."  
  
Stripping off his gloves, Grissom looks at Nick and Warrick. "I'm taking her home, she shouldn't be here anymore. ONLY you guys and Catherine touch this evidence, understand me? Process, and I will be back in a little bit. She will be safe at my townhouse for now."  
  
He had been paying little attention to Sara while giving directions to the guys, and when he notices her, he is surprised to see her standing with a small baggie in her hand.  
  
"This is mine. I didn't even know it was missing. I.had no clue. You find anything else?"  
  
"Nothing, Warrick replies.  
  
Anger flashes in her eyes at him. "Are you sure you're not hiding something from me?"  
  
"Sara, I wouldn't do that and you know it. That's all we found of yours."  
  
"Mmmm. I know, sorry."  
  
"Sara, let's go, I am taking you home." Grissom receives little argument from her as he leads her out of the room, to the locker room and out to the truck. He can sense her slipping even farther away from him than before, and during the ride back to his townhouse, wonders how to get her back.  
  
After several checks in the rearview mirror and the long way home, Grissom pulls into the driveway. As they enter his townhouse, he watches Sara carefully as she walks into the bathroom to take a shower. Frowning, he walks into the kitchen and starts to make dinner; honestly, he can't remember the last time he saw her eat. Minutes after he hears the shower shut off, Sara enters the kitchen, wearing track pants and a Harvard t- shirt, her damp hair pulled back.  
  
"Hey, sit down." She quietly does as he asks, really not paying attention to what he is doing. "Made some veggie stir fry, I want you to eat."  
  
"Not hungry." She looks at him with a blank expression and starts picking at her nails. He can tell she has been doing it a lot; the normally smooth edges are cracked and splintering.  
  
"Sara. For me, please?"  
  
She smiles a real smile for the first time in days. She will do anything for him if he asks. "Ok. For you, but I am telling you, I'm not that hungry."  
  
He nods and places a plate in front of her. They sit in silence as they eat at the island, neither willing to talk about the events of that evening. Sara eats probably a third of what's on her plate before she starts playing with the food, which indicates to Grissom that she is done eating.  
  
"I'm tired, going to bed. Coming?"  
  
"I told them I would be back to the office tonight. I talked to Brass, they have a man outside to watch. Will you be ok? I'll stay if you want me to."  
  
"No, it's fine. I'll probably sleep the whole time you're gone."  
  
As she talks, Grissom gets up and looks out the front window, waving to the marked car positioned across the street. He recognizes the cops, Davis and Johnson. Good guys, he trusts them.  
  
"Ok, they are already there. It's Davis and Johnson. You sure?"  
  
"Huh. They were there when he attacked me, that's good. They'll know who he is," she says almost to herself as she stands and walks into the living room.  
  
"I can stay."  
  
She snaps her head up at him. "No, really I'm fine. I'll sleep and see you in a while."  
  
Walking back to her position, he pulls her into his arms, hugging her fiercely. "I love you, Sara."  
  
"Love you too. Get to work, catch the bad guy."  
  
Pulling away he looks into her tired eyes. "Count on it."  
  
Smiling slightly, she watches him leave. As he closes and locks the door, Sara walks over and double checks the locks on the door and all the windows. When she gets to the one Grissom was just looking out of, she also notices the car sitting there, the officers conversing with each other. Checking the bedroom last, she lies down on the bed, pulls the covers over her head, and falls into a fitful sleep.  
  
  
  
tbc......  
  
Again, thank you to those who have reviewed, you make my day. 


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Fear Author: CSIphile/A-Stepf  
  
Rating/Disclaimers: Same as before.  
  
Notes: Ok time to get serious in the notes, so please don't skip the notes. Usually I reserve this space for some useless information about my writing process, the day I've had, or why Word is Satan. Today is different. I want you guys to know how much I struggled with the last section of this chapter, it's a serious issue (which I wont reveal now, you'll see) which I am hoping to not take lightly. I debated for a good long time if it was appropriate, if it fit with where I was taking these characters, basically if I was using it for the sake of using it or if it advanced the story. After leaving it in, re-reading the fic after I was done, and consulting with both Meg and Dev, its stays in. I hope it adds something to the fic instead of taking away. Also, the ~~ things indicate Sara's internal thoughts. Ok, now that that's done.  
  
To the Thanks: Big HUGE ones to Meg and Dev for the aforementioned reason, you guys make me feel good about the decision. Of course to Meg for betaing for me, she rocks, yo. To all those who have reviewed, thank you immensely. You guys have no idea what your reviews do for authors.  
  
  
  
  
  
Returning to the lab, he finds his entire team, minus Sara of course, hovering around the pictures spread again on the layout table. Catherine sees him first.  
  
"Hey, how is she doing?" she asks.  
  
"I don't know, Catherine. I have never seen her like this, its almost like she doesn't care anymore what happens. I'm at a loss what to do," he tells her while rubbing the bridge of his nose slowly. "What do we have?"  
  
"More of the same, pictures, I counted 234. The judge is not pleased the guy violated the order and, when the DA told him about the pictures and the call, issued a temporary restraining order. Now we just have to find him to bring him in. Shouldn't be too tough in a tourist town," Warrick answers, a grim expression on his face.  
  
"Ok, I guess it's up to Brass and the PD to find him now. Any clues where he may have gone?"  
  
"Working on that." Nick responds this time. "Watching activity on his credit cards and bank account. So far, nothing."  
  
"Gil, you should go home, she needs you. We have it covered; I won't let anything get screwed up." Catherine looks at her friend with concern.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. Call me if anything happens."  
  
Walking into his house for the second time in under two hours, Grissom is just weary. Slowly opening the bedroom door, he strips down and slides in bed, Sara shifting only slightly when he pulls her into him. Wrapping one arm around her and listening to her even breathing, Grissom falls into sleep with her.  
  
He is woken several hours later by Sara moving in her sleep and moaning lightly. As he looks at her, the noises she is making increase in volume until a piercing scream cuts through the silence and Sara sits up, pulling the covers with her.  
  
"Sara, Sara. Hey, shhh." He sits up and touches her face, shoulders, and arms in quick succession, wanting to make sure she is physically ok.  
  
"He was here, right here. He found me, wouldn't let me go. He was about to kill me, had the gun leveled at my head." Looking at him, tears spill onto her cheeks. "I don't know how much more I can take, Gris. I tried to be strong, to not show my fear, but I can't sleep, and when I do, all I see is him. I can't function at all, every decision I make is forced by him. I have no control over my life. None. I hate it and I hate him."  
  
Gathering her into his arms, Grissom leans back against the headboard, listening to her cry. After several minutes, he feels her chest stop heaving and she relaxes against him.  
  
"It's ok to cry, Sara. It's ok to talk to me about this; you need to let it out sometimes. You can lean on me. I will do everything in my power to make this better."  
  
"I know, thank you. I don't know what is wrong with me."  
  
"This would be hard on anyone Sara, but you have such a tight reign on your life that it's especially tough for you."  
  
"Yeah." Quickly changing the topic, she looks at the clock. "Oh my God, I slept for 8 hours? I think that's the longest I have slept in my life at one time. Shift starts again in 3 hours."  
  
"Sara, do you think."  
  
"I am going to work Gris, that is not negotiable. It's all I have beside you." She gets out of bed and heads for the bathroom to change and get ready. Standing in front of the mirror, Sara grips the edges of the sink, fighting the depression as she feels it slinking up on her, like black oil moving in on the edges of her consciousness. Looking at herself in the reflective glass, she is shocked at her own appearance. Her skin is a paler shade of white than usual. Dark, almost black circles rim her eyes. Her lips are dry, cracked, and it looks like she has lost a needed 10 pounds; she looks half dead. Sighing and brushing her hair quickly, she pulls it back into a ponytail, unwilling to deal with the curls today. After changing, she exits, allowing Grissom passage to shower.  
  
"As soon as I am ready we can go. But I want you to eat something before we leave," he instructs and starts the water.  
  
"Fine," she responds and finds a piece of fruit, eating it quietly on the couch, waiting for him to finish. His voice scares her out of a self- imposed daze.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"Yeah, let's go."  
  
Grabbing the assignments on the way in, Grissom quickly divvies them up between the team in his head. One homicide for Catherine, one suicide for him and Sara, and Warrick and Nick stay on Sara's case. Dropping his things in his office, he walks into the break room; Sara had taken off for the locker room as soon as they arrived. Finding everyone there, he notices the tense silence that permeates the room, all of them concerned for Sara, but no one willing to say it to her.  
  
"Ok guys. Cath, nice homicide for you. Warrick and Nick, you work on finding Harrington." Addressing Sara seated quietly at the table, he continues. "You and I have a suicide. Let's go."  
  
Once again on the way out, Catherine stops him and only says one thing. "She needs to talk to someone. Stop being her boyfriend for a minute and be her boss. Force her if you have to."  
  
The thought of pulling rank is still swirling in his mind as they process their suicide. No 'apparent' this time for Grissom. The woman left a note for her husband explaining why she had to do it; she had gambled their savings away and couldn't face his disappointment. There were no signs of a struggle. She had simply overdosed on Percocet; taken an entire bottle, went to sleep, and never woke up.  
  
'What a peaceful way to go,' Sara thinks as she snaps pictures of the woman. Her mind begins to wander as she does her job, normally not a problem, but this time her thoughts take a dark turn. She wonders if the woman suffered. Probably not, took 75 pills and all her troubles were over. She didn't have to think about what her husband would say, or have to explain to him the compulsion that took over and made her gamble away everything they had. It is an easy way out, too, not messy like gun shots or painful like hanging yourself. Typically female, too- most women commit suicide by overdosing; it's passive, quiet.  
  
The camera flashes as Sara photographs an outstretched hand.  
  
~~Easy, it probably felt like floating before she fell into sleep.~~  
  
**Flash** A serene face, unmarred. She can have an open casket funeral.  
  
~~She could do it after work, no one would notice for hours, plenty of time.~~  
  
**Flash** A prescription bottle three fourths empty.  
  
~~All she would have to do is go to the doctor, claim some phantom pain and get a painkiller, no one would doubt her.~~  
  
**Flash** A bottle of water, empty. It probably took a lot to get all those pills down.  
  
~~Maybe some alcohol instead of water might make it faster.~~  
  
**Flash** The suicide note, written in precise handwriting, giving no clue as to the writer's intentions.  
  
No one would wonder why, that much is obvious to anyone. She wouldn't need a note. Say your goodbyes before you leave work. A couple hours and it would all be over. Problem solved - no more calls, visits, gifts, Grissom would truly be safe, they all would. Joey couldn't bother her anymore, would he be upset she was dead, or upset he didn't get to posses her? Taking one last picture, Sara captures Grissom in the frame of the camera and realizes what she has been thinking. 'Oh my God, what is wrong with me?' She almost drops the camera as she looks at Grissom's back. Shaking, Sara backs away from the bed, her focus shifting between Grissom and the body. Her movements are stopped suddenly when her hip makes hard contact with the corner of a dresser, causing several small items on the dresser to shake, getting Grissom's attention.  
  
Turning to her, Grissom's concern increases tenfold. She is shaking and in the 10 minutes since he looked at her last, she has gotten considerably paler.  
  
"Sara?"  
  
She turns her head to him, an alarmed expression on her face. She can't speak, her vocal cords won't work. The room is starting to spin, and she is having trouble breathing.  
  
"I..I'll be back," she says and leaves, placing the camera on the dresser, not giving Grissom a chance to respond. Rushing outside into the cool air, she stops and raises her hands above her head to get more air into her lungs. Pacing back and forth, trying to calm herself, Sara doesn't even notice Grissom coming out of the house, watching her make circles in the walkway.  
  
"Sara. What happened?" he asks quietly and the brunette turns to face him, but doesn't look in his eyes. A first for Sara, she always looks him right in the eyes; it's how he always knows what she is thinking. "Sara, you're scaring me."  
  
"Yeah? Well, I am scaring myself too, Grissom. Do you **know** what I was thinking in there? Do you?" She starts pacing again as Grissom waits patiently for the answer to her question. He knows that pushing her won't help. "I looked at that woman lying on the bed; she looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping, not really dead. I started thinking what an easy way to go, just take a few pills and everything is over. **I actually thought about how I could do it, how easy getting the pills would be, would water or alcohol be better.** No Joey bothering me, no wondering if he will go after you next, no worrying if the next time I go outside is the last time. Maybe an hour and everything is over." She has been gesturing wildly the entire conversation until the last sentence when the energy seems to drain out of her.  
  
"Jesus Sara, I had no idea. Look, you stay here, I will finish up. We were almost done anyway, and then we'll go back to the lab." Without thinking, Grissom pulls her into a hug, stricken by the dark path Sara had been going down, and the fact that he'd had no idea it was happening.  
  
  
  
tbc.....again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite the depressing ending. I really wanted to show how this is affecting Sara without her really realizing it, and I hope that comes across. 


	20. Chapter 20

Title: Fear Ch 20/29  
  
Author: CSIphile/Stepf  
  
Ratings/Disclaimers: PG-13. I looked for the receipt, but alas I cant find one.  
  
Notes: Ok, remember waaaay back when I said the fic was done and 28 chapters, and remember a while later when I said my math skills sucked. Put those two things together and what do you get.an author who missed another chapter. It actually IS 29 chapters, I SWEAR, no more changes, I tripled- checked. With any luck, this whole thing will be posted by the end of the month, actually it has to be, you'll find out why later.  
  
Alright, some light swearing here folks. Sorry this took so long, it's just a super long chapter to beta and a lot of work. Hope you enjoy it, and I want y'all to be prepared, while writing this section I almost cried...seriously, and I never cry. My beta had the same reaction, don't know if any of you will, but consider yourself prepared!!  
  
Thanks: Standing eternal thanks to Meg and Dev, you girls know what for. Big thanks to those who reviewed, really, glad you guys enjoyed the ending last chapter. And good to know I didn't scare off any readers. And thank you so much for the patience, my beta and I appreciate it to no end!  
  
  
  
Arriving at the lab, Grissom instructs Sara to wait in his office while he finds Nick. Quickly locating the young man in the computer lab, searching Joey's history, Grissom notices the tired and worn expression on his face. Realization dawns on Grissom; this is hitting the rest of the team as hard as him and Sara.  
  
"Nick, I need you to do me a favor. Process what we found at our scene. Shouldn't take long, no foul play, straight up suicide. Sara can't stay on the case for reasons I can't disclose right now. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, sure Gris. Is Sara ok?" Fear is etched on Nick's face.  
  
"I don't think so, Nick." As he starts to leave the room, a thought occurs to him and he turns back. "If I can't get her to listen to me, will you try talking to her? You're close."  
  
"Sure, no problem, but can I ask what about?"  
  
"I'll let you know later, hopefully it won't come to that." Grissom sighs and leaves Nick to process his evidence.  
  
Opening the door to his office, Grissom finds Sara sitting quietly in one of the chairs across from his desk, seemingly staring into space. Watching her for a moment, Grissom takes in her body language. Normally Sara is defiant, confident, and that shows in her movements and language. Now, she looks defeated, tired; she is slumped down in the chair, staring mindlessly at a spot on his wall. Thinking about it, Grissom realizes that a normally very talkative Sara Sidle has been barely speaking as of late unless she needs to. Sara usually starts talking out a scene as soon as they get there, throwing out ideas and theories before she sees all the evidence. More than once he has had to stop her, but now Grissom can't remember the last time that happened. Walking in front of her and perching himself intentionally on the edge of his desk, the action establishing that he is in control, Grissom considers what to say before deciding to just come out with it.  
  
"Sara, I want you to talk to someone."  
  
Her head snaps up with a confused look. "Excuse me?"  
  
"I want to you talk to a professional about this. I can't even begin to understand, and you need to get this off your chest to someone who can really help you." He keeps his tone serious, so she knows he isn't kidding.  
  
"I don't think that's necessary, Grissom. I had a.moment of weakness, I'll be fine now." She gives him one of the smiles saved only for him in hopes of convincing him all is well.  
  
"Sorry Sara, I think it's necessary. You can't really see this objectively."  
  
Sara recognizes the tone he is using and becomes angry. She sits up straight in the chair, the air of defiance now visible. "You're pulling rank aren't you? You are going to order me to go, use your supervisor status over me. I don't believe this, you asshole! Objectively? Look who's talking, the guy who is sleeping with said subordinate."  
  
"Listen to me, Sara. This is not an order.yet. I am not doing it to pull rank, or show I am the boss; I am doing it for you. You need to talk to someone besides me, and you barely talk to me as it is. I will make this an order if you force my hand, Sara, and I don't want to do that. You have had enough people forcing you to do things; don't make me one of them. I want you to go willingly. Just talk to the department psychologist, please."  
  
Sara looks in his eyes and nods silently.  
  
"Ok, make an appointment by tomorrow." He finally removes himself from the desk and squats in front of her. "I just don't want to lose the Sara I love to this guy, I need you too much."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I will drop by before I leave."  
  
"Thank you. Find Catherine and help her on the homicide."  
  
"No, Grissom, I can process what we have. Simple suicide, won't take long, I can process the whole thing before leaving. I won't touch the pictures, how's that?" She gives him a genuine smile.  
  
"Ok, but at anytime, remove yourself."  
  
"Deal. I'll find Nick and see you after shift."  
  
"Ok," he says, and watches her leave with a good feeling for the first time in weeks that everything will be fine.  
  
Approaching the closed door, Sara has to fight not to turn on one heel and run in the other direction. Etched into the smoky glass is a name- Elizabeth Markey, MD. Under the name is one word, the word that bothers Sara- Department Psychologist. Taking a deep breath, she opens the door and steps in.  
  
  
  
"Sara, from speaking with you on the phone I know what is going on in the clinical sense. You have been stalked for almost." Elizabeth looks down a her notes. "eight weeks, by a man who saw you initially at a crime scene. So far you have received notes, calls, flowers, and he broke into your apartment."  
  
  
  
"Let's start with some information about you. I pulled your records, they're exemplary. You close nearly 100% of your cases, max out on overtime, seems you enjoy your work. What do you do in your free time?"  
  
  
  
Sara has to admit she likes the doctor; her office is comfortable without being too much like a psychiatrist's. Something about her puts Sara at ease; her soothing tone or the fact she wears jeans and a t-shirt to work. Sara listens to the woman break down her problem and her life into four sentences. 'Yeah, that makes me feel better. Reduce my life to a small paragraph. Why am I even here? Grissom, I am here for him.' Snapping out of her thoughts Sara, realizes the doctor had asked her a question. "I'm sorry, what?"  
  
  
  
"Do you do anything in your free time?"  
  
  
  
"Not really; read books, listen to my scanner, read the latest journals. Something wrong with that?" Sara takes a defensive tactic; she suddenly doesn't want to be here.  
  
  
  
"Sara, listen, I am not here to judge you, or what you do off-hours. Understand that anything you tell me is privileged. This is a safe environment; nothing gets out. I want to help you deal with what is happening to you, that's all. But I really need you to cut me some slack. Let's start out with being honest. I spoke to Mr. Grissom about the event that led you here."  
  
  
  
"Oh my God, he told you about that? Why would you talk to him? How much did he tell you?" Sara narrows her eyes at the woman sitting across the table from her.  
  
  
  
"He came to me, Sara, after you made your appointment. He had a feeling you wouldn't tell me willingly, and I get the sense that he was right. He told me everything, Sara; I know about your relationship."  
  
  
  
"Why am I even here? You can just talk to him and shrink me that way." Anger flashes in her eyes.  
  
  
  
Elizabeth takes a deep breath. She had known that this would be a tough session. "The reason you are here is that you need to talk to someone about what you are feeling. You have to let it out, Sara, or this WILL consume you and you will be no good to anyone. Not as an investigator, friend, or lover." Seeing Sara soften a little, Elizabeth continues. "He loves you, Sara. He is frightened for you; they all are. I think you mean more to all of them than you understand."  
  
  
  
Nodding, Sara slumps into the chair a little before Elizabeth starts again. "Sara, talk to me. Tell me what happened the other night."  
  
  
  
Sara starts slowly, unsure herself what happened. "I was taking pictures of a suicide vic. No big deal. The next thing I know, I'm thinking how easy it would be to just.kill.myself. You know, take a few pills and be done with it. Wouldn't have to deal with this anymore, done. I couldn't believe it; I thought I was going to be sick right there in the vic's house. I had to leave and get air. Everything just seems so.confused, I don't know what to do, how to make it stop. At the time that seemed like the best solution. I NEVER would have done it; just the thought was enough to scare me."  
  
  
  
Almost a full hour later, Sara has unloaded all her thoughts and feelings since Joey started stalking her. She hadn't expected this to work; telling strangers her thoughts is not something she would generally do willingly, but now she is glad she did. While not 100% back to the Sara of before, she feels better than she had before she'd walked through that door.  
  
  
  
"Sara, you are suffering from depression; understandable considering the circumstances. I will give you a prescription for an anti-depressant.."  
  
  
  
"No, thank you. I don't need it."  
  
  
  
"Ok, if you change your mind, come see me again. Feel free to stop by whenever you need to, that's what I am here for."  
  
  
  
"Thank you, Elizabeth. I'll keep it in mind. Actually, it's been almost a week with no contact from him. Maybe he gave up." With that, Sara gets up and heads to the door.  
  
  
  
"Sara, you need to know that stalkers are more persistent than that. Stalkers who never threaten their prey typically are the ones who become violent. Joey hasn't threatened you; you need to be careful, ok?"  
  
  
  
Sara considers her words carefully. She is probably right, he could be out there somewhere, planning, or he could be halfway across the country. "Yeah. A smart guy would be halfway across country by now. As Warrick said 'he should be in Michigan playing QB for the Lions, can't do worse than what they have.'" Sara smiles, thanks the other woman one more time and closes the door.  
  
  
  
A week after her appointment with Dr. Markey, Sara is again standing in Grissom's bathroom looking at her reflection in the mirror. She hasn't gained any weight back, but some color has returned to her skin and the sparkle is back in her eyes. Grissom had actually pointed that out to her the other day. Sara thinks about the man lying in the next room, still sleeping quietly. She doesn't know what she would do without him; she owes the fact that she is on better emotional footing to him.  
  
While she is not back to the strong person she once was, Sara is well on her way. She still has nightmares, but they come less frequently now, and she hasn't been back to her apartment except to grab some personal items. She is still looking out for Joey, but as the days pass, she finds herself doing it less regularly. One thing she can't seem to shake, though, is a panic attack almost every time the phone rings, Elizabeth had told her it is now a conditioned response for her. Some time and a lot of phone calls that aren't him should begin to fade the response. Sara is hoping for soon; she just wants to be back to normal.  
  
Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, Sara leaves the bathroom and looks at Grissom lying on the bed, naked from the waist up, the sheet just touching his rib cage. Slowly approaching the bed, Sara lifts the covers and lies down next to him. Sliding as close as she can to his warm body, she runs a finger lightly up and down his chest, rousing him from sleep.  
  
"Hey," he says though half open eyes. "What time is it?"  
  
"Three, early yet," she replies and kisses his neck lightly, feeling him shiver from her lips. Moving up, she lightly kisses his lips, feeling a tingle all the way through her body at the contact. Slowly, Sara moves so she is now laying mostly on him, her legs tangled with his. Running her fingers through his curly hair, Sara deepens the kiss, running her tongue against his lips to gain access.  
  
Grissom moans quietly when Sara pushes her tongue into his mouth and places his hands firmly on her hips. This is the first time they have been intimate since Sedona, and Grissom realizes how much he missed this part of her, the part that no one sees except him. Finally, Sara pulls away from his mouth, only to smile seductively at him and return to raining kisses on his neck and collarbone. Pushing the sheet off them with one motion, Grissom wraps his arms around her waist and rolls them over, placing her securely under him. Pulling her shirt off, Grissom once again marvels how this came to be, Sara lying in his bed, now half naked thanks to him. He is pulled out of the thought by her hand snaking around his neck and pulling him in for an earth shattering kiss. Stopping momentarily for breath, Grissom looks into her deep brown eyes and sees only the Sara he knew before, the Sara that he fell in love with weeks ago. Cupping her face gently with both hands, he kisses her forehead.  
  
"I love you, Sara. More than you know."  
  
"I love you too, Gris," she says and smiles while one hand slides under the waistband of his boxers. What she does to him indeed.  
  
Sara wakes with a start; she can't remember having slept that long without a nightmare. Glancing at the clock's orange glow, she moans audibly and turns on her side, facing Grissom. Running one finger down the side of his face, she marvels at the man in front of her yet again.  
  
"Time to get up?" he mumbles into the pillow.  
  
"Yeah, unfortunately. As much as I would love to stay in bed with you all night, I am sure some deviant out there is making work for us."  
  
"Probably, plus I have a meeting this evening with Ecklie and Mobley. They decided so have a status meeting at night so I would have to be there. Who would you rather work with? Nick or Warrick?"  
  
She raises one eyebrow at him; he never gives them choices. "Do you really have to ask? Nick. Why are you asking? Not to beat a dead horse, but you are the boss."  
  
"Just thought I would give you the option. If you're complaining I won't do it again," he retorts with a smile and sits up, swinging his legs off one side of the bed.  
  
"Nope, not complaining. Thanks." She kneels behind him and wraps her arms around his shoulders.  
  
"You're welcome. Now I need a shower, care to join me?"  
  
"Grissom, seriously, thank you for everything. If I didn't have you, well, I don't want to think what may have happened."  
  
He can see the near tears in her eyes. "God Sara, you're welcome. I can't imagine life without you."  
  
After a comfortable silence, he speaks again. "So, how about that shower?"  
  
A smile is all he gets before she hops off the bed, grabs his hand, and leads him into the bathroom.  
  
'It's been two weeks since I have seen her,' he thinks as he paces the small hotel room. Getting lost in Las Vegas had been easy for Joey; a quick dye job to blonde and he had been all set. A room in one of the smaller hotels was equally easy, since his picture hadn't been circulating until he was already checked in. Pay cash and you get few questions asked. But now he is going crazy. He has to see her, has to make her understand that crossing him will cost her; he needs to send a message. She won't get away with sending her boyfriend out to catch him. Grabbing her shirt, he brings it to his face again, the scent of her quickly fading off the often-handled garment. He needs to see her, now. Her behavior lately has been unacceptable. She's cheating on him, and if there is one thing he won't tolerate, it's infidelity.  
  
Joey starts pacing the confines of the room, his anger at Sara growing with every step. 'She needs to be taught a lesson. I won't forgive her for this. She needs to learn I am in control,' he thinks and finally stops pacing, looking at the clock. 'Sara will be on shift in 5 hours, plenty of time.' Grabbing his card key for the door, Joey goes out to the parking structure at the hotel. Finding a truck that is just outside the security camera's eye is difficult, but after some searching, keeping his head down and a hat on, he finds one. Quickly breaking in and starting the engine, Joey swiftly maneuvers out of the lot and onto the freeway.  
  
Arriving at work, Grissom quickly relays that he will be in a meeting the first few hours, and that once he is done, he will meet Sara and Nick at their 419. As Nick and Sara gather their kits, Grissom meets them in the hallway.  
  
  
  
"Don't forget, Harrington may be quiet, but he is probably not gone. Watch each others'backs, okay? Without contact, they had to pull her protection."  
  
  
  
"Got it, Gris. Don't worry, she's safe with me," Nick replies, confident he can handle whatever Harrington has to offer. Sara just sighs at the men and grabs Nick's arm, pulling him with her and away from Grissom.  
  
  
  
Guiding her out to the Tahoe, Nick makes an attempt to lighten the mood by telling yet another of his stupid jokes. Only this time, he actually gets a laugh out of Sara instead of the uncaring look as of late.  
  
  
  
"Ok, Nicky, THAT one was funny." She gives him a genuine smile as they climb into the truck.  
  
  
  
He watches from the other side of the road as Sara gets in the passenger side of the vehicle. Twisting her shirt violently in his hands, he starts the truck and follows the SUV into traffic, careful to stay far enough back to not be noticed. He continues to follow them onto the freeway, waiting for an opportunity.  
  
  
  
"How are you feeling, Sara? You look better and you are really acting more like yourself," he asks, not taking his eyes off the road. Traffic is heavy on the surface streets as he pulls onto the freeway, taking little notice of the black Silverado six cars back.  
  
  
  
"Thanks Nick. I feel better; I think a lot of that is Grissom though. He helps more than he knows. Those few days with Grissom in Sedona was the first time in a while that I wasn't looking over my shoulder and wondering. Things are easing up, but I can't bear to go back to my apartment. Just knowing that he went through my things, it's the worst feeling ever. You know that. How long did it take you, to feel like home is home?" She turns in her seat and faces him, wondering why it hadn't occurred to her before to ask him about it.  
  
  
  
"Honestly, my house is finally starting to feel like mine again, almost a year later. It's a hard thing to shake off. You're right, it's the worst feeling ever to know someone went through your things; you feel violated. Slowly the feelings start to fade, and things become normal again. But it's a long process. If I can help.."  
  
  
  
"I know, thanks Nick. I might take you up on that. Grissom is good to me, but he doesn't understand, you know?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah. I know."  
  
  
  
"Nick, I'm sorry.sorry for never asking how you're doing. We're friends, I."  
  
  
  
"It's ok, Sara. Really, that's in the past." He looks around at the light traffic, sees that there are maybe ten other cars on the highway, and figures there shouldn't be any slowdowns. She nods at him and turns forward in her seat.  
  
  
  
Seeing the construction signs, an idea starts to form in Joey's head, and he closes the gap between him and the Tahoe, bringing himself within half a car length. 'She'll see what I can do.'  
  
  
  
Nick looks into the rearview mirror as they approach the start of construction and furrows his forehead. Sara notices the action and questions him about it.  
  
  
  
"There is a black Silverado behind us. I swear I saw the same one earlier before we got on the freeway."  
  
  
  
"Nick you are probably being paranoid," she says and twists in her seat to look behind them as the lights on the truck get closer. The Vegas dusk allows her enough light to get a view of the driver. "SHIT. It's him." Her voice is panicked.  
  
  
  
"Ok, get your cell phone and call Brass right now," Nick says, keeping one eye on the Silverado, taking a moment to check the traffic again. In that instant, Joey guns the engine and rams the back of their vehicle, causing Sara to drop the cell phone.  
  
  
  
Looking in the mirror, Nick swears he can see the man's face in the reflection, and all he sees is anger.  
  
  
  
"NICK!" Sara's scream brings his attention to the road and he swerves in time to miss a large sign indicating that they need to merge right in 500 yards.  
  
  
  
"Sorry," he says as they are rammed once again. This time he can feel the vehicle sliding out from under his control. Using the techniques they learned in the academy, Nick gets control back. Sara is searching for the cell phone, without much luck.  
  
  
  
Joey watches Nick gain control and becomes angrier; he has no right to interfere. Looking ahead, he smiles and brings the Silverado on the right side of the Tahoe, forcing it to the left and into the construction.  
  
  
  
Looking over at Sara quickly, Nick sees her searching for the missing phone. Over her head, however, he sees Joey. The man is smiling, his grin nothing short of evil. Turning back to the road, Nick sees trouble. Directly in front of them, and getting closer exponentially, are concrete barriers used to guide traffic. Looking at his speed, Nick knows they have no hope of survival at 50 miles an hour. Slamming on the brakes, and trying to turn the vehicle, Nick hears the tires squeal, can smell the rubber, and feels the steering column shake from the stress.  
  
  
  
Sara feels Nick brake hard and looks up, a short scream coming out of her mouth as she feels Nick's arm come across her abdomen in an automatic gesture to protect her. She hears the front of the truck make contact with the barrier, the sounds of metal twisting and glass breaking permeating the air. She thinks she hears Nick make a moaning noise. A sudden feeling of weightlessness comes over her and she realizes the truck is flipping over. The last thing Sara hears is Nick calling her name before a sharp pain stings her head and blackness overtakes her.  
  
  
  
Nick throws his arm across the vehicle, making contact with Sara's midsection before he feels the car hit the barrier. The steering wheel is pushed into his chest from the force of the impact, and the engine block shifts backward into the passenger compartment. Crying out as the pain courses through his body, Nick senses the truck flipping and calls out Sara's name before the pain takes over and he drifts into unconsciousness.  
  
  
  
Joey watches as the Tahoe spectacularly flips once before coming to a stop righted on its tires. Smiling to himself, he wonders if she is dead or alive, then instantly becomes regretful for his actions; he doesn't want her dead, she means too much to him. He watches as a car stops and someone gets out, running over to the Tahoe and pulling out a cell phone to call for help. Putting the truck in gear, he drives off, not wanting to get caught and not be able to apologize to her for his rash actions. He needs to get back to the hotel, and hide for a while.  
  
  
  
The first thing she is aware of is excruciating pain; it seems to Sara that every part of her body aches. She takes a moment to asses injuries. She can feel blood slowly running down one side of her face, leaving sticky streaks; moving her feet, she sucks in a sharp breath at pain that courses through her from the left one. Finally opening her eyes, Sara is aware of being right side up. Everything seems to be fuzzy, though; she can see someone on her side of the vehicle, she can feel them pressing their fingers into her neck and telling someone she is alive.  
  
  
  
'Nick,' she thinks and turns her head slowly to the side, trying to get a look at him, but every move causes pain to shoot through her head. Wanting to clear her vision, Sara tries to bring up her right arm, only to be met with a stabbing pain. 'Shit, it must be broken.' Taking a painful breath, Sara blinks a few times and turns her head fully to the driver's side. What she sees brings tears to her eyes. Nick is pinned back into the driver's seat by the steering wheel, a large gash on his forehead bleeding profusely and covering his face in red; the effect is Halloweenish. She can see that his right leg looks broken, and she doesn't want to think about all the internal injuries; he is probably hemorrhaging internally by now. His eyes are closed, his head turned toward her, resting on the seat, and she can't tell if he is breathing or not.  
  
  
  
"Nick," she croaks out, her voice barely above a whisper. "Nicky, please wake up. Talk to me. Please." She is crying by now, desperate for her best friend to say something, anything, to tell her he isn't dead.  
  
  
  
"Miss, miss, are you ok?" she hears from her right side out the now- missing window. "We called an ambulance, they should be here soon. Hang on."  
  
  
  
"Nick, you have to help him," she says without turning. "Please help him." Though never one to believe in organized religion, Sara finds herself praying for Nick, praying he is alive and wakes up soon. As if on cue, a low moan comes from his direction in the vehicle. Lifting her left arm, Sara reaches over and touches his face.  
  
  
  
"Nick, please talk to me. Come on, something, just so I know you are ok."  
  
  
  
"Sara?" Her name is said so quietly, she isn't sure if she even hears it until Nick says it again, slightly louder. "Sara? You ok?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah Nick, I'm fine. Just relax, help is on the way," she says and rubs his arm slowly.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry, Sar. I was supposed to protect you." He slowly opens his eyes, relieved to actually see her and know it isn't a dream.  
  
  
  
"Don't be sorry, Nick, you probably saved our lives. Now stop talking."  
  
  
  
"It hurts. A lot, everything hurts.."  
  
  
  
"Shhhh, Nick. I know it hurts. They're coming, can you hear the ambulance?" She reaches farther up and touches his cheek, noticing the pale color of his face. Looking closer, she sees a trail of blood coming from the side of his mouth and has to resist crying.  
  
  
  
"Yeah. They won't make it, baby, I can feel it. Love you, Sar. You and Grissom take care of each other, ok? Promise me."  
  
  
  
"NO! No, I don't promise, Nick. No goodbyes, do you hear me? Don't do this, you'll be fine; they're here, stay with me just a few more minutes. Please, Nick, please. Hang on." Her words are heavy with desperation as tears fall down her cheeks. By the time he closes his eyes, Sara is sobbing noiselessly as she reaches over and touches his neck, finding a slow and irregular pulse. Turing her head quickly to the side, ignoring the pain, Sara gets the approaching medic's attention.  
  
  
  
"No. Not me. You have to help him first. Please hurry, his pulse is weak and I'm sure he is bleeding internally."  
  
  
  
"Ok, ma'am. We will have you out of there in less than two minutes, ok?"  
  
  
  
"Quickly, he's dying," she whimpers and grabs Nick's hand.  
  
  
  
tbc........ 


	21. Chapter 21

Title: Fear Chapter 21/29 Author: CSIphile/Stepf  
  
Rating/Disclaimers: PG13 for one bad word and I don't own em  
  
Notes: If the medical stuff is wrong I apologize, I did my best.  
  
Thanks: To the readers and those who reviewed thank you so much, I appreciate it to no end, you guys have no idea. Rock on.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sara hadn't been aware of falling asleep, not until someone removing Nick's hand from hers pulls her from unconsciousness. Opening her eyes, Sara is surprised to see the night sky above her, the hood of the Tahoe having been completely removed by the fire department. Turning her head to look at Nick, Sara's only observations are a stabbing pain in her head and an empty driver seat beside her. When strong arms reach across and unbuckle her belt, Sara finally looks at the scene around her. Fire trucks and ambulances surround the Tahoe in a wide circle, allowing enough room for police to come and go. 'Never seen a crime scene from this angle before,' she thinks to herself. Before the EMT can lift her onto a gurney, Sara stops him with one hand.  
  
"No. I'm fine. I don't need a stretcher. Where's Nick?" She carefully lowers herself out of the wreckage, avoiding putting too much pressure on her right foot, leaning against the Tahoe to steady herself. The highway seems to be spinning, but Sara focuses on the task at hand, finding Nick. Giving the EMT a pleading look, she continues, "Please.I need to find my friend."  
  
He is about to give in when suddenly Sara feels dizzy, nauseous. It's all she can do to keep from hitting the pavement when she faints. Luckily, the paramedic in front of her watches her face lose almost all of its color and reaches out to catch her. Placing her on the gurney, he quickly takes a blood pressure reading and shakes his head. 'Too low, she's in shock.' The EMT hears his name as he is hooking Sara up to an IV and turns around to see Hank Peddigrew jogging toward him.  
  
"Dan! Dan, do you have a brunette female over there?" he shouts before reaching Dan and his patient.  
  
"Yeah. Why?" he asks as Hank reaches his location and stops dead in his tracks.  
  
"Shit. Sara."  
  
"You know her?"  
  
"Yeah, she's a CSI. I recognized the other victim as one of her co-workers. Damn, she looks bad."  
  
"She was talking and lucid, wanting to know about a Nick, when she fainted. I am transporting her now. You want to come?" Dan asks, noticing the anxious look on the other EMT's face.  
  
"Yes. Let me tell my partner, and I need to call their shift supervisor. He is going to want to know." Hank runs off and returns in record time, dialing the phone as Sara is lifted into the ambulance.  
  
Grissom jumps when his cell phone rings loudly in the quiet conference room, the only noise that of Conrad Ecklie talking about vacation days and making sure everyone uses them. Grissom looks up unapologetically at the other two men and answers, almost grateful for the diversion.  
  
"Grissom..What? They should have been there ten minutes ago..give them a few more, Brass, and then.ok thanks, Jim." Grissom hangs up and indicates for Ecklie to continue when a voice over the intercom announces a call for him on line one. Shrugging, Grissom leans over and picks up the phone in the center of the table.  
  
"Grissom."  
  
"Grissom? This is Hank Peddigrew. I don't know if you know who I am.." He is cut off by Grissom's terse voice.  
  
"Yes, I remember. Why are you calling me?"  
  
"I'm sorry to have to call you, but there has been an accident involving Sara and Nick."  
  
"What?" he practically screams into the phone and sits straight up, causing both Ecklie and Mobley to jump. "Are they ok? Where are they going?"  
  
"Nick is critical, Sara is injured, but it's hard to tell. We are transporting both to St. John's now."  
  
Grissom is shaking visibly by now; he can barely hold the phone. "Ok, I will be there in ten minutes. Thank you, Hank." Grissom hangs up and only says, "I have to leave. There has been an accident." He exits the room quickly, leaving the other men staring to stare at each other in confusion.  
  
Grabbing his keys and coat from his desk, Grissom quickly finds Catherine and Warrick in DNA with Greg. Walking in, Catherine immediately knows something is wrong. Grissom's face is pale and his eyes are distant.  
  
"Gil, what's wrong?" Looking closer, Cath can see the older man's hands shaking violently.  
  
"Sara and Nick have been in an accident. They are both on their way to St Johns. I am going there now."  
  
"Not alone, you're not. You can't drive like this. Warrick, let's go," she says and as she passes Grissom, gently removes the keys from him.  
  
  
  
Sara wakes again in the ambulance, disoriented but focused on finding out about Nick. Looking around, she sees a friendly face.  
  
"Hank?"  
  
"Hey. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like shit. Where's Nick? How is he?"  
  
"He's ahead of us. I don't know Sara, and he didn't look good when I saw him."  
  
Nodding and biting her lip, Sara sits up carefully. The pain in her ankle is almost gone, but the ache in her right arm is agonizing. Looking down, she sees a temporary splint on the arm.  
  
"Sara, sit back."  
  
"No, I'm ok. Really, just sore."  
  
"Sara.."  
  
"Hank, I'm fine. The pain in my ankle is almost gone and I'm not dizzy anymore."  
  
He eyes her warily but agrees to let her sit up. The rest of the ride is in silence, Sara thinking about Nick and then Grissom.  
  
"Grissom!" she suddenly says.  
  
"I called him; he should be at the hospital shortly," he says as they pull into the ambulance bay. Getting out, Hank turns to Sara, who is already halfway out of the ambulance. He shakes his head at her.  
  
"You need to be seen by a doctor," he says.  
  
"No, not until I see Nick. Where is he?"  
  
"Sara, he's in a trauma room. You can't go in there."  
  
"Maybe not, but you can take me. Please, I need to see him. He's my best friend, and I may have gotten him killed." Sara tries to fight back tears, but a few escape. Never in her life has she been this scared for someone she cares about. "Please Hank," she says more quietly.  
  
Looking at her face, Hank sighs and escorts her to the trauma room. Pushing the door open, he slides her quietly into a corner, noticing a doctor he knows giving him a funny look.  
  
"Sister," is all he says, and the doctor nods at him, too focused on the near-dead man in front of him to really care.  
  
Sara watches as if in a dream as the doctors and nurses rush around, the amount of blood on their scrubs almost bringing her to tears. 'Nick's blood.that's all Nick's blood,' she thinks and leans against the counter behind her, unable to stand. She only catches half of what they say, and she doesn't really understand it.  
  
"Central line, now. Damn it.ok."  
  
"Ok, tube is in. Peddigrew, come here and bag him." Hank touches Sara's arm and walks away.  
  
"Ok, we have a bleeder here. Nance, clamp that off," a male voice commands.  
  
"Shit, he's got blood in the urine," a female voice says and lifts something.  
  
"BP is 80 over 40. Pulse ox.low, 75."  
  
"How much blood is he down?"  
  
"Three pints, minimum."  
  
"Get that CT scan ready and where the HELL is surgery?" Again a male voice, but different from the first.  
  
"On his way now."  
  
"He better move his ass, this guy is bleeding out all over. Put another bag on the infuser and hurry it up, we are losing him," the first male voice shouts.  
  
Sara has been watching, not paying attention to the noises of the machines until one that any lay person who watches 'ER' recognizes, the heart monitor, moves from a steady beep to an endless drone.  
  
"V-fib. Start compressions. Charge the paddles to 270..ready? Clear!"  
  
Sara watches as Nick's body jerks on the table from the shock. "Nick. Noooo," she says quietly and covers her mouth with one hand, her painful sobbing unheard in the noisy room.  
  
"Ok, 300..clear!"  
  
Again his body jerks, but the steady drone of the heart monitor continues as a nurse presses on his chest.  
  
"Nick. NICK!!" she screams but doesn't move, frozen in place by terror.  
  
"Ok an amp of epi and again at 320." The doctor waits for the drug to be administered, taking one second to look at the young woman in the corner, one hand over her mouth, a look of desperation, fear and guilt covering her face. He turns back to the patient, more determined then ever to save the young man's life. "Clear!"  
  
tbc......hopefully soon. The fate of Nick hangs in the balance. 


	22. Chapter 22

Title: Fear 22/29  
  
Author: CSIphile/Stepf  
  
Rating/Disclaimers: PG13, Don't own em  
  
Notes: I totally made up the medical stuff, I know very little so if I mucked something up or didn't make something as serious as it should be..humor me, call it creative license. Check out more notes at the bottom, I couldn't put em here! Lookie how fast I am posting this chapter too, Megs the best!  
  
Thanks: For the reviews, you guys, as per usual, rock hard! And Dev, who listened to me whine endlessly, she's a saint. Also to Meg, who betaed this with speed cause we were afraid of being lynched if Nicky hung in the balance for too long. G  
  
  
  
  
  
Once more, he jerks, and once more, no reaction on the heart monitor. "Ok, one more time at 350..ready? Clear!"  
  
Nick's body jerks once again, but this time a small beep emits from the monitor. "Sinus," one of the nurses calls out, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.  
  
"Ok, good job everyone." At that moment another doctor walks in and talks to the ER doctor. They quickly rush Nick out of trauma. The only word Sara hears is 'surgery'; she is focused on Nick as they rush by her.  
  
She doesn't realize she is holding her breath until Hank touches her arm again. The trauma doctor looks back at Sara and smiles. "Your brother is going up to surgery. I am not going to lie to you, his injuries are very severe. He has internal bleeding in addition to the broken leg and pelvis and serious concussion. It's going to be wait-and-see for a while."  
  
"Okay, thank you."  
  
"Have you been seen yet, Miss?"  
  
"Uhhh. No. Actually, I.." Mid-sentence, Sara leans over and coughs hard, bringing up a small amount of blood. Removing her hand from her mouth, Sara looks at her red-covered palm in shock.  
  
"Sara?" Hank asks and shares a concerned look with the doctor, who moves over to get a closer look at the young woman.  
  
"That's not good, is it?" is all she gets out before another cough racks through her, causing Sara to cry out in pain. It feels like her chest is being ripped to pieces from the inside. "Oh God, that hurt."  
  
"Ok, get her into a trauma room and let's get a chest CT," the doctor, whose name she now knows as McCarty, barks at a passing nurse. As Hank picks her up carefully and walks with her in his arms to trauma, he sees Grissom quickly walking down the hall to him.  
  
"Hank.Sara!" Grissom shouts when he sees who Hank is carrying.  
  
"Sir, are you family?" McCarty asks.  
  
"Yes," Grissom says without hesitation. At that moment, Sara coughs again, this time bringing up more blood, covering Hanks shirt in it. He lays her down on the bed, placing her on her left side, to keep her from choking on the blood, and looks at Grissom, who is staring at Sara with fear.  
  
Grissom is stunned. Blood mats her usually shiny brown hair and runs in rivers down the side of her face from a nasty-looking two inch gash in her head. Almost her entire face is mottled in bruises of differing colors and textures, results of the airbag exploding too close to her. Looking down her body, Grissom notes the splint on her right arm along with various bruises and cuts. Add to that the blood she is coughing up with frightening regularity on her shirt, and Grissom almost doesn't recognize the woman he loves. Walking to her after the nurse takes x-rays, Grissom grabs her left hand and squeezes. She turns to him and smiles slightly.  
  
"Hey," she says in a whisper.  
  
"Hey, baby. Everything will be ok; they are going to take you up to surgery in a minute," he says and strokes her cheek where there isn't blood.  
  
She nods and coughs violently again. "It was him, Grissom. Harrington. He tried to kill us. Why? I don't understand. I thought he was gone." Her voice becomes rougher and quieter as she talks, prompting Grissom to shush her.  
  
"Sara, stop talking, ok?" She nods again and fights closing her eyes, finally succumbing to the urge.  
  
Trying to hold back tears, Grissom places his forehead on the bed next to her and cries silently. He never should have let her leave the building; he should have kept her closer to him, no matter how angry she may have gotten at him. He is a trained investigator and yet he ignored all the signs of an increasingly violent stalker. He is forced out of the way as a nurse returns with the results and McCarty examines her.  
  
Looking at Hank, Grissom gives the man a small smile and thanks him. "I owe you, Hank. Can you do me a favor, though? Catherine and Warrick are in the waiting area. Can you let them know what is going on?"  
  
"Sure, Grissom. I'm sure she'll be fine." He pats Grissom on the shoulder and walks out as the doctor addresses the older man.  
  
"Mr.Grissom?" the doctor questions, unsure if that's a first or last name.  
  
"Yeah," he replies, not taking his eyes off the now-unconscious Sara, who is swiftly being moved upstairs to surgery.  
  
"Sara has a perforated lung caused by a rib that snapped in half and pushed back into the chest cavity. It's not a big perforation, but it requires surgery. Additionally, she has a broken arm, a serious concussion, and various cuts and bruises. Considering the man that came in with her, she is very lucky."  
  
"I know." Grissom runs his hands through his curly hair and address the doctor again. "How's Nick?"  
  
"That, I can't tell you. He is in surgery now; you can wait for them both up there. I can tell you we lost him once on the table down here; it was a close call. But he is young and strong. Good luck."  
  
"Thank you doctor," he says and walks out to the waiting room, still in shock from what he had been told. They almost lost Nick. In a daze, he wanders aimlessly into the room, only looking around when he hears Catherine's voice.  
  
"Grissom?" she says softly and approaches him with Warrick close behind. When he doesn't respond, she tries again, "Gil?"  
  
Turning to her, Catherine is surprised by the ashen look on his face. "Is she alright?"  
  
"What? Yeah, she should be fine. Perforated lung. She was coughing up blood, Cath, a lot of blood. And her face, it was covered in it, I almost didn't recognize her. They could be dead, gone for good. Nick was brought back once, and they lost him in trauma." He is shaking by now, looking in Catherine's direction, but to her it seems as though he is looking through her.  
  
"Yeah, Hank told us about Nick. They are both strong people with something to live for. Have faith." She pulls Grissom into an embrace, slowly rubbing his back as he grips onto her for dear life.  
  
Finally pulling away, Grissom looks at both of their solemn faces. "We can go upstairs and wait for both of them there."  
  
"Ok, let's go," Warrick finally says, unable to keep his voice from cracking on the three short words.  
  
Entering the waiting room, she looks around, quickly finding the people she is looking for in the near-empty room. Even if the room was full, the two men and one woman would have been easy to spot. They are sitting side by side, with the strawberry blonde in the middle leaning against the younger of the men. The older of the two is sitting stock straight, staring into nowhere. Approaching the group, she gets the younger man's attention first, and he alerts the others to her presence.  
  
"Hi, I am Dr. Ashwari. I worked on Miss Sidle. You are waiting for her, correct?"  
  
"Yes. I'm Catherine Willows; this is Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom," the woman says and holds out her hand.  
  
"Good to meet you. Let me give you the lowdown." She sits in the chairs in front of them. "Sara was brought it conscious, lucid, and able to walk on her own. Adrenalin probably kept her from feeling the pain in her chest. Her rib had broken and punctured her right lung, not too seriously, enough to cause quite a show of blood, but not enough to actually collapse it. We repaired the lung and set her rib, in addition to the break on her arm. We also stitched up the laceration on her head, and additionally, she suffered a serious concussion. She is pretty bruised and banged up but she should be fine. She is in recovery now. Sara is sedated pretty heavily now and intubated to help her lung heal, but she should be ready to get out of here in a few days."  
  
"What about Nick?" Warrick asks quietly.  
  
"I checked in on him on the way here. He's still in surgery. I won't lie to you, he is lucky to be alive; they revived him once in the ER. He sustained massive internal injuries. They removed his spleen, sewed up part of his liver, and he has bruising of the sternum and a broken pelvis in addition to other minor injuries that the surgeon working on him would be better equipped to go over with you."  
  
"When can we see Sara?" Grissom looks at her with an almost desperate expression.  
  
"As soon as they move her into ICU, one at a time and not for more than 10 minutes for now. The nurse will let you know. After they lift the sedation, probably sometime tomorrow, she will be moved to a regular room and she will have normal visiting hours."  
  
"Ok, thank you doctor," Catherine says as the woman gets up.  
  
"You're welcome. If you have any questions, let me or one of the nurses know." Receiving nods, she leaves the trio in peace.  
  
"She's going to be fine, Grissom. They both are," Catherine says and places a hand on his arm. She's surprised when, for the first time in almost two hours, he moves, jumping up and pacing in front of them. They watch him walk tight circles for a few minutes; Catherine can feel the waves of anger coming from him.  
  
"Gil.."  
  
"This never should have even happened, Catherine. Never. He should still be in jail on the assault charges. Dammit! If only we could have proven he broke into her apartment, he would be safely locked up where he belongs, not running my CSIs off the road, almost killing them." He finally stops walking and looks at them.  
  
Catherine almost recoils from the look her friend gives her; she has known him for over 10 years now and never once in all those years has she seen such hate and fury in his eyes. She realizes the feeling isn't directed at her, but they frighten her nonetheless.  
  
"Grissom, man. We did what we could; there was no evidence to charge him on. Believe me, I would have been the first person to do it," Warrick says, also noticing the expression on his face, but ignoring it.  
  
Something about what Warrick says rings true with Grissom and he sinks into the chairs across from them, placing his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. After a few minutes he raises his head, looks into Catherine's understanding eyes, and practically whispers to her, "I just found her again Cath. I can't handle the thought I almost lost her before we had a chance. And Nick, he wanted to protect her, as much as I do. Did someone call Brass? She ID'ed Harrington in the ER."  
  
"Yes, Warrick called him. There is an APB out now. They will find him, Grissom, and half the force is out there looking. She's fine, though; you heard the doctor. You will have your chance, Gil. Don't let this destroy it." She pauses momentarily, considering what to say next. "Nick loves her, loves her like the younger sister he never had; more than we probably realize. He probably was protecting her as best he could. They are both alive. He'll be fine.."  
  
"He has to be fine, Cath. It will kill Sara if he isn't," Grissom finishes for her as the nurse walks in and informs them that they can visit Sara.  
  
Following her down the hall and coming to a halt in front of ICU room 3, they decide by unsaid mutual agreement that Grissom will be the first to go in. Before he does, however, he gets a stern reminder from the nurse that he can't stay more than 10 minutes, and then he can come back in two hours. He nods a response and pushes the door open, steeling himself for her appearance.  
  
Walking in, he sucks in a breath; she is lying so still, a white ghost that blends into the white linens, her brown hair the only thing that differentiates her from the bed. She looks so young and innocent. An intubation tube attached to a respirator parts her pale lips, soft lips that he can still feel on his body from what now seemed like an eternity ago. Sitting in one of the chairs, he takes her left hand, the one without a cast, and holds it to his lips. Her hand is warm, for some reason that gives him great comfort. Leaning onto the bed, still grasping her hand, he brings his face close her hers and talks quietly to her.  
  
"Hey baby. You're going to be all right. The doctors did a good job; I'm sure you'll be back in the lab in no time." Letting a tear run down his cheek, he continues, "I love you, Sara. I will be here when you wake up, ok? We will find him, Sara, I promise you that, He won't ever do this again. Just rest now. Cath and Warrick want to see you, but I will be back soon." Leaning down, he kisses her forehead and gives one more long look at the brunette. 'I'll find him myself if I have to,' he thinks and walks out, allowing Catherine by.  
  
"Grissom, Nick's out of surgery. He isn't being allowed visitors right now; they are confident he will recover fine, though. So when we're done, I am taking you home and you are getting some rest." Catherine can tell he is about to argue with her, so she fixes a glare. "I'm not kidding, Gil. They both are going to need you, and you can't do that half asleep. They're safe here; Brass is posting men at their doors."  
  
He nods in acceptance, and waits patiently for both her and Warrick to finish before allowing Catherine to lead him downstairs to the waiting Tahoe. The entire walk down, however, Grissom feels like he is abandoning Sara. The picture of her alone in that hospital room is almost more than he can take, and for a brief instant, he debates returning to her. Catherine's steady hand on his arm reminds him that she will be unconscious anyway, and he rationalizes that a shower and some sleep won't keep him away long.  
  
Joey pulls his baseball hat down over his eyes, trying to keep his face hidden. While he had managed to change his hair color earlier, his eyes would probably give him away. It was the one thing that always drew women to him; the ice blue shade of them is unusual, but luckily the blonde hair seems to diminish the impact. Joey isn't stupid; he knows the police are looking for him. The only way he can stay near the woman he loves is to disappear into the throngs that visit Las Vegas on a daily basis before probably heading out of town.  
  
First making a stop at the hospital's front desk and asking about Sara, he finds out she is in ICU on the surgery floor. Room three. Walking to the bank of elevators, he sees the gift shop across the hall and makes another stop. Carrying his purchase and keeping his head down, Joey makes it into the nurse's station unmolested. Unfortunately it's necessary for him to check with the nurses before moving to the room located behind them. Glancing around, he finds room three to the left and notices that she has no guard on the door; that surprises him. Putting on his best saddened look, he gets the attention of the younger of the nurses.  
  
"Excuse me, miss. My.sister was brought in earlier, she was in a car accident. They told me she was up here. Is there any way I can see her?" He blinks several times as though holding back tears and sniffles a bit.  
  
"She really shouldn't have visitors anymore today. Your father was here earlier looking in on her. I don't remember seeing you with him." She looks at him warily for a moment.  
  
"My father?" he questions then realizes who she must be talking about. "Oh of course. Yes, I just flew in from San Fran. I know she probably doesn't need more visitors, but I just got here from the airport and want to leave her something so she knows I was here." He indicates the gift in his hand.  
  
"I can leave it for her," Dana says, but she is softening, feeling bad for the young man who almost lost his 'sister'.  
  
"I would really like to see her, just for a moment. Please, it would mean so much to me." He opens his eyes wide in a pleading gesture and that does it.  
  
"Ok, five minutes, not one more."  
  
"Great, thanks Dana, I really appreciate it." He smiles and gives her a wink as he waltzes past the desk and enters Sara's room.  
  
tbc.........  
  
More notes: Cause I am sure you care what I was thinking.I debated Nicks fate for a solid two weeks before deciding he could live. I even wrote his death first, but I couldn't do it. Besides the geeks, Nicky's my favorite and I didn't have the heart to kill him. Though some person, who shall remain nameless, was encouraging me to kill him, you know who you are! 


	23. Chapter 23

Title: Fear 23/29  
  
Author: CSIphile/Stepf  
  
Notes: I got nothing. Seriously. Unless you want to hear me complain about this stupid cold I have? Didn't think so. More to come, hopefully soon, I was even nice on the ender today, blame (or thank, depending on your take) the cold.  
  
Thanks: Never ending, heart filled ones to those who have reviewed, I love you guys! Thank you. Of course to Meg the beta, you are fabulous, girl and Dev, equally fabulous.  
  
  
  
  
  
Grissom passes by his butterfly collection for the thirty-fourth time; he knows because he has counted every pass so far. Catherine had dropped him off just over two hours ago and then promptly left with his vehicle, so he wouldn't go back to hospital until she returned for him. Catherine had, in her best don't-mess-with-me voice, directed him to shower, eat and sleep; then he could go back. He has already showered and managed to eat half a sandwich, but sleep is not forthcoming. Every time he lies down he can smell her hair, feel the heat of her body curled into his. The thought of her lying alone in that hospital bed raises Grissom's anger another notch; he's determined to find Harrington and remove him from their lives any way he can. On the thirty-sixth pass past the butterflies, he gets a sinking feeling in his stomach and the urge to be at the hospital increases tenfold. Grabbing his cell phone from the charger, he deftly punches in the speed dial number he knows so well.  
  
"Willows."  
  
"Catherine, come get me," he says quickly, tumbling over the words.  
  
"What? You can't possibly have gotten any sleep, Gil." She talks to him like she would an impatient child.  
  
"Catherine, I am not debating this with you. Come and get me right NOW." Something in his tone tells Catherine to just do it instead of arguing.  
  
"Ok, I will be there in 15 minutes," she says and hangs up the phone, grabbing her keys and thanking god Lindsey is with Eddie.  
  
A very long forty-five minutes later, at least it's long in Grissom estimation, they are approaching the nurses' station. Without even stopping, he walks past the semicircle and heads to Sara's room, then shows his ID to the guard placed there and opens the door. First concentrating on Sara, Grissom sees that she hasn't moved an inch since he saw her last, a few hours ago. Her linens don't even looked disturbed, but standing there, Grissom gets a strange feeling. Scanning the room, with Catherine looking on from the door, his heart stops as it gets to a small table provided for the nurses on the opposite side of the bed. Walking around the foot of the bed with trepidation, Grissom looks at the gift, but doesn't touch it. Being a scientist first, Grissom examines the small brown bear with his eyes before confiscating a pair of latex gloves from a box by the bed. Picking it up, he notices a note underneath with Sara's name written on it in unfamiliar handwriting. By now Catherine is standing directly behind him, watching with morbid fascination as Grissom picks up the note and reads it aloud.  
  
  
  
"Sara, I'm sorry, but I did what I had to. You don't seem to understand who is in control. I am. I control your life, Sara. I regretfully put you in this situation. Don't forget it. Joey."  
  
  
  
"Catherine."  
  
"Yeah. Hand it over, I'll call Warrick. Harrington admitted to it. Now we just need to find him. I will also call Brass and have some detectives down here interviewing possible witnesses. Someone had to have seen him." She takes the bear and note in her now latex-covered hands. Looking around, she finds a hazardous materials bag to place it in. Turning back to him, she is surprised to see the amount of anger openly displayed on his face. "Grissom?"  
  
"He was in this room, Catherine. With her.alone. How did he get this far?" he asks through clenched teeth.  
  
"I don't know," she answers honestly.  
  
"Well, I'm going to find out." He heads for the door, ignoring Catherine calling his name.  
  
"Who's in charge here?" he asks brusquely as he gets to the counter of the nurses' station. Slamming his hands loudly on the counter, he waits for a response.  
  
"That would be me, sir," a pretty redhead responds. "Annie Cahill."  
  
"Well, Miss Cahill, would you care to explain to me how the man that put Sara Sidle in that hospital bed waltzed in here and was in her room?"  
  
"Excuse me?" she asks, unaware that anyone had even been in the room. Behind her however, and not outside Grissom's view, Dana Leslie begins to squirm.  
  
"You." He points at her. "Do you know what I am taking about?" His tone is that of uncontrolled fury.  
  
"Yes. A young man came in and asked for her. Said he was her brother and had just flown in from San Francisco. I let him in for not more than five minutes. The guard wasn't here yet."  
  
"Not more than five minutes? Great. Do you KNOW what kind of damage he could have done in five minutes? She could be dead. Do you understand? DEAD." As he is talking, Grissom voice is getting steadily louder, attracting the attention of most of the ward. "From now on, NO ONE goes in that room, or Nick Stokes', unless they show police or forensics ID, understand me?" All the nurses nod in acknowledgement.  
  
Cautiously, Catherine approaches him and places her hands on his back, whispering for him to relax. Moving him back into Sara's room for privacy, Catherine is about to chastise him for his actions, but Grissom cuts her off.  
  
"I'm sorry Cath. But he was here.right HERE. I can't stand the thought of losing her. She is the only woman I have ever loved." Catherine is startled at his admission; she isn't surprised at the sentiment, but surprised he said it to her. The fiercely private Gil Grissom admitted something highly personal to her.  
  
"She's fine, Gil. Yes, he was here, but I think she is safe for now. If he wanted her dead, he would have killed her then."  
  
"He doesn't want her dead yet, Cath. He wants to posses her. But sometimes that need for possession takes over and the stalker kills the object of his obsession. The old 'if I can't have her, no one will' thinking. He thinks that by being violent he is stripping her life away, and that she will come around to him when there isn't anything or anyone left to go to."  
  
"We will get him, Grissom. That I will promise you." She gives him a smile and indicates the hazmat bag still in her hand. "I'm going to the lab. I'll be back later to get you, I think you scared the nurses enough that they will let you stay a while."  
  
"Thanks Catherine," he says and hugs his friend. After she leaves, he pulls up the chair closer to Sara's bed and holds her hand delicately in his, finally resting his head on her bed and falling asleep.  
  
A light squeeze on his hand brings Grissom out of his exhaustion-induced sleep. Momentarily confused, he looks around before realizing Sara's eyes are open and looking at him with confusion.  
  
"Hey. Let me get the doctor, ok? Don't fight the ventilator." Receiving a slight nod, Grissom is opening the door as a younger man walks in.  
  
"Mr. Grissom? Hi, I will be Sara's doctor for the rest of her stay. Dr. Carter." He extends a hand and receives quick handshake from the older man.  
  
"She's awake," is all he says to the doctor.  
  
"Really?" he says and walks to the head of her bed, smiling when he sees the brown of her eyes. "Good morning, Miss Sidle. Give me a minute and I will remove the ventilator. Just don't fight it, let it do the work." As the doctor talks he unhooks the respirator from the tube and removes the tape from her mouth. "Ok Sara, I am going to count to three. On two, I need you to take a deep breath, as deep as you can. On three, I need to you exhale, not too hard though; we don't want to have to back in there and repair damage. Got it?" At her nod, the doctor starts the count and in short order the tube is pulled out of Sara's throat, much to her great relief. After she coughs for a few moments, Carter checks her breath sounds and sits her up in the bed.  
  
"We weren't planning on bringing you out of sedation until this afternoon, but you pushed up our schedule, Sara. Is she stubborn by any chance?" He directs the question at Grissom.  
  
"Just a little." Grissom looks at Sara and receives a scathing look.  
  
"Well, that will help with recovery," the doctor says and quickly reviews with her the injuries she sustained and how to care for herself. "You are going to need help for a while, Miss Sidle. Your lung needs time to recover. No physical activity for three weeks. Are we clear?"  
  
"Yes, I understand. Nick, how is Nick?" her raspy voice asks with a hint of desperation.  
  
"Looks like he will be fine. The surgeons did some major repair work, but he should be fine in a few weeks."  
  
"Can I see him?" Sara ignores the look she is getting from Grissom. "Please, he's my friend, and he almost lost his life because of me."  
  
Grissom starts at the tone in her voice. He can tell she blames herself for this. "Sara."  
  
"No, Grissom. I want to see him."  
  
The doctor watches the interaction between the two, and he knows she will be in good hands. "How about a compromise? You relax until this afternoon and then I will get a nurse to help you into his room for a bit. Ok?"  
  
"Thank you," she responds quietly.  
  
"I'll be back in a few hours to check on you. Rest, no food yet though, and you will be out of here in no time."  
  
"Thank you, doctor," Grissom says as Carter leaves the room.  
  
Grissom moves back to his position beside her bed and grabs her hand, reassuring himself that she is fine, that she is breathing and alive and in one piece.  
  
"There's an APB out on Harrington; they're running his face all over the news. The problem is that he could be at any one of the hotels in Vegas and no one would recognize him. We will find him, Sara, and he will pay for this. You need to know he was here, in your room while you were sedated. He left you a small gift, and he's real apologetic about the accident." The last sentence is dripping with sarcasm.  
  
Her eyes widen at this and she nods silently at him and closes her eyes, not wanting to think about it. The only thing she can think of is that Nick almost died for her, that he is lying in a hospital room because of her. "Nick..oh God, Gris," she suddenly says.  
  
Grissom carefully slides onto the bed with her, gathering her in his arms and whispering in her ear. "He will be ok, Sara. You are both alive and we have Nick to thank for that."  
  
After several minutes, her breathing regulates and he looks down to see her starting to fall into sleep.  
  
"Sleep, Sara. I am going to check in with Brass and Catherine, but I'll be back. There's a guard at the door. I love you." He receives a slight murmur in response and gets off the bed, giving her one last glance as he closes the door.  
  
tbc..... 


	24. Chapter 24

Title: Fear  
  
Author: CSIphile/Stepf  
  
Disclaimers/Ratings: K, its been a while, here goes. I do not own the characters from CSI, and all the ones that aren't CSI are mine.all mine! Even stalker Joey, though his name is borrowed and I am sure the real Joey isn't crazy like mine. PG-13  
  
Thanks: To the readers, thank you for sticking it our during my long absence, I've received quite a few inquiries as to this masterpiece's (ha!) whereabouts and I really, really, to the bottom of my heart appreciate it. I cannot say that enough. You guys ROCK. To my beta's.Meg and Adina. Who made their own contributions to this fic, only to make it that much better.  
  
Notes: Yes, I have returned. The entire fic is written, completed, it's being betaed as we speak.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
As she is rolled into Nick's room, Sara sucks in a breath at his condition and regrets the action when pain momentarily courses through her chest. While he looks better now then when he was down the in the ER, the damage that was done is still a shock to Sara. The nurse pushes her next to Nick's bedside and watches as the young brunette hesitantly touches the man's arm. Since waking up that afternoon, Sara has been quiet and almost withdrawn.  
  
Sara is almost surprised by the warmth in Nick's arm; she is half expecting him to be cold. Biting her lower lip, she holds Nicks hand loosely in hers, listening to the noises in the room. The reassuring noises of the ventilator and heart monitor tell her he is still with them, still alive and breathing. Smoothing a piece of hair back into place, Sara talks quietly to him, her tone starting light.  
  
"Hey, Nicky. You gave me quite a scare down there. Don't do that again, ok? I don't think I could take it if anything happened to you because of me. You didn't deserve this Nick; it's my fault, all my fault. If I had just told him to leave me alone from the beginning instead of trying to be nice, maybe he would have gone away. Maybe I should have just shot him in the parking lot; at least he would be dead."  
  
Sara laughs lightly and touches his face before getting serious again. "God, Nick. Your parents could be planning your funeral, and all because some asshole decides he loves me. How ridiculous is that? How do you decide that you love someone you don't even know? Chaos theory Nicky, it should have been Grissom in the car with me. I wish that it was only me, and then none of you would have been hurt." Sara knows she is rambling, but it's easy to ramble to someone who can't hear you or respond.  
  
Considering what she said to him, Sara realizes that it had come dangerously close to being Grissom in that truck with her. The thought makes her sick to her stomach; she has no doubt that if it had been Grissom, he would be dead, and she would be alone because of Joey. Anger swiftly courses through her. Enough is enough, Sara isn't letting this happen to someone else she loves; she is going to take care of Harrington herself if she has to. She can't believe she let the situation get this out of control; it is one thing for Harrington to control her life, its something entirely different when it affects her friends. Sara's anger and rage increases with every breath the respirator takes for Nick.  
  
Thoughts of a life without Grissom or Nick swirl in her head. Gone, Grissom could be gone: the one person she could count on for the past 6 years, and the only man she has ever truly loved. Nick: her friend, the first real friend she had here.  
  
Adding grief to her anger, puts Sara in an emotional state she can't even define. Leaning into Nick, she whispers quietly. "I'll kill him for this Nick. I'll do it without thinking twice. I'm taking control of the situation back, and he will regret this." Talking to him, Sara realizes what she is feeling: rage.  
  
Grissom looks at his watch as the elevator slowly approaches the third floor. He hadn't meant to be gone this long, but the discussion with Catherine and Brass took longer than he expected, then Mobley had cornered him on the way out, wanting an update on Sara and Nick. For one moment Grissom honestly thought Mobley cared about his colleagues, until the conversation quickly turned to the amount of time Grissom was spending at the hospital, particularly with Sara. At that point Grissom quickly terminated the conversation and made his way here; here being stuck on an elevator that seems to be taking an eternity to get to his destination.  
  
Grissom enters the room and sees Sara leaning into Nick, talking to him so softly he cant hear the words. Watching her, he is struck by her body language; she seems tense, almost angry to him.  
  
"Sara?" he says, and waits for a response, when one is not forthcoming he tries again. "Sara? Hey Sar?" The name came out of his mouth without Grissom even realizing what he called her. He is surprised, however, by her sudden reaction. Sara turns in the wheelchair to face him, her face covered in anger.  
  
"**What** did you just call me?" Her tone is angry, but Sara doesn't seem to care anymore.  
  
"What? I called you Sara." Grissom almost takes a step back; this is not the woman he remembers leaving in her bed hours before.  
  
"No. You called me Sar. Only he calls me Sar." She stands and indicates the man lying prone in the bed behind her. "Don't EVER call me that again. No one calls me that except Nick."  
  
This time he does take a step back. He has never seen Sara this angry before, at least not directed at him. Something has happened, he doesn't know what.  
  
"Sara, I'm sorry. What happened?" He approaches her and is stunned when she backs away from him. "Sara?"  
  
"Leave me alone Grissom, don't come near me. I don't want to see you anymore. Please leave." Her face is completely neutral, he can't figure out what is going on in her head.  
  
"Sara. I will not leave you alone. I am here for you and Nick. Don't do this, don't push me away." Again he tries to touch her and she pulls back from him. Her actions almost bring Grissom to tears.  
  
"Leave me alone Grissom. Accept the fact I don't want you here, I don't want you anywhere near me. It's dangerous," she hisses through clenched teeth.  
  
'It's dangerous'. Her words run through his head and he finally understands her behavior. "Sara, I'm not worried about the danger of being near you. I want to protect you."  
  
"You can't protect me Grissom. Nick tried and he ended up here; I refuse to see the same thing happen to you. Just leave, we're through Grissom, done. I don't want to see you anywhere but work. Am I understood?"  
  
As she speaks, Grissom feels a stabbing in his heart. He desperately searches her eyes for any indication she is only doing this for show, but sees nothing but anger and defeat. "Sara, I refuse.."  
  
"God damn it Grissom! No 'I refuse', no 'I promise', nothing. The next words I want to hear out of your mouth are 'I'm leaving!'" She is practically screaming at him and her body language is stiff, tense, unyielding.  
  
"Sara, calm down and listen to me." He waits for her to relax a bit before continuing. "I will not leave because you need me, whether or not you admit it. I know you like to be strong, in control and together, but no one expects you to deal with this alone. I'm not worried about my safety. He isn't threatening me; it's you he is after. Nick was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time; it could have been Catherine or Warrick or me."  
  
"That's my point Grissom. He doesn't care about you or Cath or War. You're collateral damage to him; I don't want to place any of you on his radar. He wants me Grissom, and I refuse to let anyone else get hurt in his quest." Her demeanor has changed significantly, her body language is still tense and wound up, but her voice and facial expressions have softened considerably.  
  
Grissom looks at Nick but talks to Sara. "Let's get you back to your room. Nick needs rest, and I don't think he would want to wake up to this."  
  
She nods at him quietly and sits back in the wheelchair, allowing Grissom to push her back into her own room. He just watches as she painfully slides back into bed, thankful yet again that neither one of them died. For a few moments they just stare at each other, Grissom sitting in the chair next to her bed, unsure what to say now.  
  
"I'm sorry for what I said. It was cruel and unnecessary. I'm just, I don't know confused, scared, and angry. God, I've never been this angry before."  
  
"It's all understandable Sara. Your entire life has been twisted into something you can't even recognize anymore." He reaches over and grabs her hand, squeezing lightly.  
  
She smiles at him. "Thank you for not listening to me and leaving. What would I do without you?"  
  
"Eat Chinese food three meals a day, sleep 4 hours every two days and never leave the office." He tries to lighten the mood and is rewarded with a grin.  
  
"Yeah. There's always that."  
  
You guys rock.thank you again! 


	25. Chapter 25

Title: Fear Author: CSIphile/Stepf  
  
Notes: Thank you, thank you for all the fabulous reviews I received after the last chapter. You guys really do rock and it's nice to know I wasn't forgotten. This is a pretty short chapter, but I needed one nice happy chapter before the end. Cause you know it not done yet.heh.  
  
Thanks: Again to those who have reviewed, you make my day, seriously. To Adina and Miss Meg, the two best beta's a girl could ask for, thank you, your support means everything to me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Standing in Nick's room Grissom almost lapses back into the Catholicism of his youth and thanks God he is alive, but instead the scientist in him thanks the doctors and modern medicine. Sighing loudly, Grissom checks his watch for the fourth time; they are moving Sara to a regular room and he was told to join her downstairs in thirty minutes, which was an excruciatingly long fifteen minutes ago. Watching the second hand tick by the minutes is not helping matters. 'A watched pot never boils Gil,' he reminds himself as a young nurse comes in to check Nicks vitals.  
  
"When will he wake up?" Grissom asks the petite brunette; the small piece of plastic on her scrubs indicates her name is Bethany.  
  
She gives him a polite smile. "No one can tell you that. He's almost completely off the sedation, so really he could wake up anytime. It's all up to him now." The nurse watches as the man considers this. She has seen him before, spending most of his time in the younger woman's room. Initially she assumed he was both patients father, but was quickly corrected by the charge nurse. Bethany gets the impression he isn't good with people since when he is there, he barely speaks to anyone, though she heard about the blowup the first night Nick and Sara were brought in. However, seeing the pained expression on his face, she sees that he cares for the man in bed, and without looking up from her chart she talks again. "You know if you talk to him he can probably hear you."  
  
Grissom considers this and sits down in the chair, waiting for Bethany to leave before speaking.  
  
"Hey Nick," he starts but swiftly realizes he doesn't know what to say. Starting casual conversation for him is hard enough, starting it with someone who isn't holding up their end of the conversation is near impossible. "I'm not really good with this kind of thing. I just wanted to let you know that... that Sara's probably still alive because of you. You never should have been there, in retrospect, but that doesn't make me any less glad you were. I guess what I am trying to say is thank you, Nick. We all miss you, especially Sara. She feels so guilty about this, you have no idea."  
  
While he thinks about what to say next, the charge nurse sticks her head in and lets him know that Sara is moved and that he can see her.  
  
"Thank you." He turns back to the man on the bed and sighs. "I'll be back Nicky. Do me a favor and be awake when I get here."  
  
Grissom quietly closes the door behind him and nods at the guard placed there. Less than five minutes later he is approaching Sara's door, nodding yet again. Hearing laughing from inside the room he swiftly walks in and finds Catherine and Warrick already there. Warrick is holding what looks like a pen in one hand and Sara has her left arm up, blocking his advances.  
  
"Come on Sara. Lemme sign it."  
  
"Warrick, how old are you? No."  
  
"Sara, you are really no fun sometimes. You know that?"  
  
"I know. Besides I want Nick to sign it first," she says quietly and Warrick stops needling her.  
  
"Okay. When are they letting you out of here?" Catherine finally asks but is surprised when the answer comes from behind her.  
  
"Day after tomorrow." Grissom replies and approaches the group, thrilled to see Sara in a good mood. "I caught your doctor in the hall."  
  
"Good. What they pass off as vegetarian in this place leaves alot to be desired." She smiles at him before her tone turns serious. "How was Nick? Is he awake yet?"  
  
"No, but he is off the sedation, so it should be any time."  
  
"Good, I'm going to head up there later." At Grissom's expression she continues, "The doctor said I could, I already asked. She said it might help if he hears my voice."  
  
"Yeah, the nurse had me talking to him. Don't know that it helped."  
  
"I'm sure it did." She smiles at him.  
  
"Well, we will let you guys visit, and go see Nicky. After Grissom's visit he probably needs a pick me up." Catherine states and nudges Warrick.  
  
"Yeah, see you later beautiful." Warrick leans over and carefully hugs Sara, whispering in her ear. "So I get to sign second right?" Sara's response is to laugh quietly.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Cool. You take care. Bye Gris, See you later."  
  
Grissom nods at their retreating forms and turns back to the brunette, who is now looking out the window at the mountains. She looks better than two days ago in trauma, but the bruises on her face have not faded one bit, if anything the vibrant swirl of yellows, greens and blacks has only become more noticeable. Reaching out, he touches her face carefully, running a knuckle lightly across one of the uglier bruises. When she turns to him startled he pulls his hand away.  
  
"Sorry, Sara. Did I hurt you?"  
  
"No, just startled me,. I seem to be a bit on edge lately." She gives him a bitter smile and carefully inspects the cast that now covers her right arm from fingertips to just above her elbow. "This thing itches."  
  
"I imagine it does. All the sweat from your body has nowhere to go and." At her raised eyebrow he stops talking. "And you already know that. Sorry again."  
  
"It's ok, Gris. I think we'll all be on edge until Harrington is caught."  
  
"Yes Brass has his best men on it, but it's a big city with a lot of tourists. Finding someone who doesn't want to be found isn't always easy, that's why you go nowhere without your protection, understand me?"  
  
"I understand, trust me. I don't want a repeat of that adventure; it's bad enough Nicky almost died." she says quietly, the guilt obvious in her voice.  
  
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Grissom slides next to her and pulls her into his arms. "We will get him Sara. That I promise you. This isn't your fault; you can't control what he does."  
  
"Yes it is, I could have gotten rid of him somehow, I didn't try hard enough." She sighs loudly. "You can't promise me that, Grissom. But thank you for trying." Her voice is becoming more distant and he can tell she is falling into sleep.  
  
"I don't make promises I can't keep, Sara," he whispers to her prone form, and pulls her closer, mindful of the IV line and her ribs.  
  
Sara wakes again several hours later, her mind fuzzy from the painkillers. Blinking a few times to get the sleep out, she opens her eyes to Grissom's chest, looking up she sees he is wide awake, quietly watching ESPN for the baseball scores from the past few days. She listens to the announcers for a bit before speaking.  
  
"So, how 'bout them A's?"  
  
He looks down at her, surprised. "Excuse me?"  
  
"The A's? Going for a 20 game win streak. Where have you been?" She gives him that trademark grin of hers.  
  
"Since when are you interested in baseball?"  
  
Grinning enigmatically she replies, "Since I met you."  
  
"How are you feeling?" he asks with a wide smile.  
  
"Much better. I would love to go see Nick now."  
  
"Ok, let me get a nurse and a wheelchair."  
  
"Grissom."  
  
"No arguments Sara. That or you stay right here."  
  
"Fine." She pouts.  
  
Returning a few minutes later, Grissom helps her into the chair and pushes her out the door. Waiting for the elevator he leans over the back of the wheelchair and whispers to her, the feeling of his warm breath on her neck enough to give her goose pimples.  
  
"How did you know about the A's?"  
  
"ESPN." Is all he gets whispered in return as the elevator doors open and he pushes her in shaking his head.  
  
tbc----------------- 


	26. Chapter 26

Title: Fear Author: Stepf  
  
Notes: We are getting near the end here, its almost sad. Thank you for sticking in and hope the end is worth it for you.  
  
Thanks: Meg and Adina, going where no sane person should go, correcting my horrific grammar. If there was an award for that, y'all should get it. I love you guys!  
  
  
  
  
  
Holding tightly onto Nick's hand, Sara watches his chest, the up and down movements reassuring her that his body is doing what it's supposed to do. According to the doctor, he could regain consciousness at any time; while he is still on heavy pain medications, the sedation has been lifted. Grissom had left her alone with him almost five minutes ago and Sara still can't manage to say a word without almost breaking into tears. Taking a deep breath, she tries yet again.  
  
"Hey Nick." She pauses, unsure what to say to him. "You know I'm not much of a conversationalist, so how 'bout if you put both of us out of our misery and talk to me.. Fine, don't. I'll bore you with stories of college, and I warn you, they iare/i, boring. Unless you want to tell me yours." Waiting for a response and getting none, Sara settles into the chair and starts talking.  
  
"Well, that brings me to how I met Grissom.." Sara stops suddenly when Nick's hand squeezes hers and gets her attention. "Nick?" As she says his name, his eyelids slowly open, blinking rapidly from the sudden flood of light.  
  
"Sar?" His voice is raspy; she can barely make out the word.  
  
"Hey.it's ok. Let me grab the doctor, ok?" She tries to pull her hand away, but Nick just grasps harder.  
  
"You.ok?"  
  
"Fine, Nick. Don't worry about me. I'm so glad you're awake; we all are." Using her left hand, Sara grabs the call button and presses it, a smile covering her face the whole time. Everything is going to be fine.  
  
During the discussion with the doctor - the same one that treated her - about Nick's condition, during which they learn that he will be in the hospital a minimum of another week, Grissom walks into the room, surprised to find Nick awake and sitting mostly upright.  
  
"Nick. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I got hit by a truck." The younger man grins. His voice is still scratchy from the ventilator, but clear.  
  
"Yeah, I can imagine." Grissom watches as Sara listens to the doctor with rapt interest. He remembers that expression from so many years ago and a seminar. With her hand securely resting on Nick's in a gesture of comfort, for one brief instant Grissom feels jealous, but he quickly dismisses the feeling. Sara and Nick were already friends before this happened; he can imagine going through what they did will only pull them closer.  
  
"So, he will be fine, right?" she finally asks.  
  
"Fine. He is one organ lighter, but with some time and therapy he should be one hundred percent in a few months. I think he can go back to light work in three to four weeks, full time in six to eight. He has to be careful though; a broken pelvis is something he needs to be cautious with."  
  
Nick just nods. He can't believe they are both alive to talk about what happened. He had thought for sure when they hit those barriers they were both dead. 'You came pretty close,' a voice in his head reminds him. As the doctor leaves, Nick smiles a tired smile at Sara.  
  
"You sure you're ok?" he asks quietly.  
  
"I'm fine Nick, really." Lifting her right arm, she shows him the heavy cast. "Short of one cast, a few broken ribs, a concussion, and this lovely slice across my forehead, which I'm sure will leave a scar, I'm good. You are the one that gave us a scare." Grissom notices that she intentionally left out her perforated lung, but chooses not to correct her.  
  
"Well, you got off easy then."  
  
"Sure did. You look tired, buddy. Get some rest and I will be back later, probably with Cath and Warrick in tow. You need to sign my cast so Warrick can; I told him he had to wait." As she touches his forehead lightly and traces the bandage on it, one that matches hers, she smiles at him.  
  
"Yeah. Ok, wouldn't want to make War wait too long. 'Night." He murmers the last part, already half asleep.  
  
Two days later Sara is practically bouncing up and down on her hospital bed. Grissom stares down the anxious woman, trying to get her to stop, but all he gets is a broad smile in return. They are waiting for the doctor to return with her discharge papers, and Sara is quite obviously ready to leave.  
  
"Sara I know you are ready to go, but relax a little."  
  
"Sorry, I just can't stand being confined in this place one more minute. The food stinks, the place smells like.disinfectant and the nurses are not so friendly."  
  
"Please." He is thankfully cut off by the door opening and the doctor entering holding papers.  
  
"Ok Sara, you're cleared. I just want to review with you your discharge instructions. No physical activity for three weeks, you can return to desk work after two. At your three week check-up we will evaluate going back full time. I have for you antibiotics, you need to finish these up - a ten day course - three times a day. Also pain killers, Percoset, take these as needed. Okay?" Only Grissom notices when Sara blanches slightly at the mention of Percoset.  
  
"Thank you doctor," Grissom responds and Sara nods. As the doctor leaves, a less animated Sara gets off the bed and gathers her coat. Grissom had brought over clothes for her that day.  
  
"You ok?" he asks and lightly grasps her arm.  
  
"Fine, for some reason the mention of Percoset just threw me off. No big deal." She gives him a strained smile. "Let's go see Nick and get the hell out of here."  
  
"Yeah, ok."  
  
Opening Nick's door, they find him conversing with a young nurse, Grissom thinks her name is Bethany. Sara shakes her head before leaning into Nick and whispering in his ear.  
  
"You whore, you have been awake for all of two days and already hitting on the nurse."  
  
He merely gives her a wide smile. "You out of here?" he asks as the nurse leaves the room.  
  
"Yup, I've been released. But I will be back to visit soon, don't you worry."  
  
Nick gives her a grave look. "I do worry, Sara; that guy is still out there. And I think it's apparent the lengths he will go to. That was a close call, next time he might succeed."  
  
"I have protection until they catch him, Nick. Plus I'm staying at Grissom's; he doesn't know where that is. Don't worry about me anyway; you need to concentrate on getting better and working on that nurse." She gives him a wink.  
  
"Oh, before you leave Warrick has given me strict instructions to sign your cast. How's that feeling?"  
  
"It itches like crazy and I have some pain, but it's ok. Let me find a pen." Sara leaves to find a pen at the nurse's station, as soon as the door closes behind her Nick turns to Grissom.  
  
"How is she really?"  
  
"She will be fine Nick. The arm and ribs will heal. Her guilt.that might take a little longer."  
  
"Her guilt? It wasn't her fault, she didn't ask for this."  
  
"I know that Nick, but she still thinks she could have done something to avoid it."  
  
At that moment Sara returns with a permanent marker, handing it to Nick and perching herself on the edge of the bed, holding her arm out to him. Sara can feel the slight pressure as Nick writes furiously on the hardened plaster. When he is done she looks at the black markings and laughs.  
  
"'Next time find your own ride?' That's sweet Nicky, thanks, no wonder you get all the girls."  
  
Nicks retort is cut off by the doctor coming in the room. "Time for your CT scan."  
  
Nick gives them an apologetic smile.  
  
"That's ok, Nick. Sara needs to get home and rest anyway. I am pretty sure Warrick and Catherine were coming by this afternoon, we'll see you later." Grissom guides Sara out of the room.  
  
"See you later, Nicky," she says and Nick nods in response.  
  
Downstairs, Grissom leads her to his Tahoe and drives the trip to his townhouse in near record time; Sara doesn't even have time to fall asleep, which is what her body is aching for right now.  
  
Walking through the front door, no one, including the protective detail parked on the street notice a man watching them intently from an empty townhouse across the complex.  
  
He watches her enter the townhouse and fumes. She had obviously not learned her lesson; she belongs to him, forever. No one else. Why won't she just learn that lesson? He thought that running her and that friend of hers off the road would show her how serious he is, apparently not. Joey paces behind the safety of now closed curtain blinds. He had the good fortune of finding a townhouse that is currently for sale and unoccupied.  
  
Sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, he contemplates what to do. If she won't be with him, he won't let her be with anyone else. Smirking, he slides over to the window and peeks out; Grissom's Tahoe is still there, as are the police. His only problem is dealing with the cops, they need to be distracted.  
  
Checking his backpack, he finds the lock pick that was used previously to break into Sara's apartment. Joey moves back into his position on the floor and waits, Gil Grissom will leave at some point. He reaches out and double checks his bag to be sure he has everything he needs to get out of the city fast, cash and some clothes. If he succeeds in carrying out his plan, the police will be looking for him like rabid dogs. If he succeeds, Sara Sidle will be dead.  
  
tbc........ 


	27. Chapter 27

Title: Fear  
  
Author: CSIphile/Stepf  
  
Notes: Heh, you will hate me at the end. Just saying. Also, the next  
  
(and final) chapter will be posted this weekend sometime, I promise.  
  
Thanks: Never ending ones to the readers, you make it all worth it!  
  
The best beta's ever, Miss Meg and Adina.  
  
  
  
Sara wearily enters the townhouse and seems relieved when Grissom guides her into the bedroom. Stripping off her jeans and sweater - leaving her in panties and a t-shirt - she walks to the bed; she says she can't believe how tired she feels. Grissom flinches as he watches her struggle slightly to pull the sweater over the bulky cast. He can see through the thin material of the white t-shirt the bandage, right under her breasts, covering the stitches from her surgery incision. Following closely behind her, he makes sure she is settled before sliding in fully dressed behind her.  
  
"You need anything?" he whispers into her hair.  
  
"Nope, just tired." She snuggles back into his form, feeling him wrap an arm around her, carefully avoiding her bandage. "Don't you have to go to work tonight?"  
  
"No, I left the lab in Catherine's capable hands; they borrowed a guy from Ecklie's shift to cover for a while. I'm on call though."  
  
"Mmmm..ok, good. Love you," she mumbles and allows the pain medication to pull her into sleep.  
  
"Love you too, Sara." He holds her for a few minutes longer before giving in himself, making a note to try and wake up in an hour.  
  
An hour and a half later he wakes up and regretfully gets out of bed.He had brought paperwork with him home; he had figured it would be a good distraction while she slept, plus it is a way to justify being away from work - not that he needed one.  
  
Grabbing a bottle of water, Grissom walks over to the open bedroom door and looks in on her one more time before settling in at his table. Opening the first brown folder he sighs. What he wouldn't give to be back in bed with her, feeling her warm body next to his, smelling her freshly washed hair, running his fingers on her smooth skin. Those few days she was in the hospital were worse than he could have imagined. Granted, before they went to Sedona she rarely stayed at his place to sleep, it was their own way of staying together but separate. When they returned, however, she was at his place almost every night. Gil Grissom had slept his entire life alone, there were a few times when women would stay with him, but it wasn't the same. When those women left his bed he didn't care one way or the other, they were there or they weren't, he felt no need to ask them to stay. With Sara though, when she stayed in his life long enough, Grissom realized he never wanted to let her go. Waking up to a cold, lonely bed is no longer appealing to him; he needs her there with him. Those three days she was hospitalized were awful, he couldn't sleep, and every time he rolled over and didn't feel her there he was reminded that he could have easily lost her.  
  
Shaking his head, he reminds himself that she is fine and breathing, currently in his bed. Reviewing the contents of the folder, he signs off on the last page and closes it, moving onto the next one.  
  
Three long hours later he removes his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose. He has completed all the backlogged paperwork and is looking forward to curling up with Sara again when his cell phone rings. Quickly snatching it up off the table next to him, Grissom looks at the display and frowns.  
  
"Grissom."  
  
"Hey its Cath, I hate to do this, but we caught an all-hands, multiple 419. Without Sara and Nick it's going to be tough as it is. Can I beg of you to come to the scene at least? Please? Otherwise we'll be there for days." Her voice holds a hint of desperation.  
  
Grissom is silent for a moment as he walks into the bedroom and glances at Sara's sleeping form. Catherine is about to speak again when he starts.  
  
"Yeah, ok. Where?" He walks into the kitchen and writes the address down quickly, making note that it's in Henderson.  
  
"Thank you, Grissom. I owe you."  
  
"It's ok, Cath, she's still sleeping anyway." He holds the phone with his shoulder while debating taking his gun. Finally making a decision, he snaps the firearm onto his belt.  
  
"How is she feeling?" Catherine's voice takes on a motherly tone as she asks the question.  
  
"Tired and sore, but ok." He rubs the bridge of his nose while talking. "I don't know what to do for her Catherine, I'm clueless."  
  
"Just do what I told you before, be there for her. See you in a bit?"  
  
"Yeah, I will be there in..fifteen minutes."  
  
"Thanks again Gil, I really appreciate it."  
  
"Sure," he responds quietly and hangs up the phone as he walks into the bedroom. As he enters, she rolls over and blinks against the harsh light coming in from the open door.  
  
"Hey." Her voice coated with sleepiness, he can barely hear her.  
  
"Hey, Catherine called. They got a major 419, all-hands. I agreed to help at the scene for a bit, unless you need me here." He sits on the edge of the bed and she rolls over and curls herself into him.  
  
"No, go ahead. I'm not much fun tonight anyway; I can barely keep my eyes open."  
  
"You sure?" He reaches out and pushes a lock of hair off her face.  
  
"Yes, Grissom.I'm fine. Besides, I have my protection." Slowly she sits up and sucks in a breath when pain shoots through her chest. "Ouch, the pain meds from the hospital are wearing off."  
  
"You want some?"  
  
Sara considers this for a moment. She can't deny it hurts, but the Percoset makes her feel funny in addition to tired. On the other hand she will be sleeping the rest of the night anyway. "Yeah, that would be great, but just one for now. If I need another one, I'll take it later."  
  
He leaves and returns shortly after a bottle of water and the prescription bottle in hand. Giving her the water, he opens the pill bottle and shakes out one, watching as she quickly downs it with about half the water.  
  
"If you need me, I have my cell.."  
  
"I know Gris, go. I will be fine for a few hours, really. Maybe by the time you get back I will actually be able to carry on a conversation like a normal person."  
  
"Ok, love you."  
  
"Love you too." She lies back on the pillows and watches as he leaves, closing the bedroom door as he goes.  
  
Joey sits up when he hears a car engine start. Looking out the window he can't believe his luck, Grissom is leaving already. Now it's just a matter of getting the protection away. Thinking, he comes up with something. He isn't sure if it will work, but it's worth a try.  
  
Grabbing his bag, Joey lets himself out the same way he came in, through the back door that all the houses in the complex have. Finding what he is looking for on the street perpendicular to Grissom's, Joey grabs the flashlight he found in the empty townhouse. Holding it in one hand, he swings the heavy object, smashing the window and setting off the Mercedes car alarm, and to insure he their attention, Joey moves to the next car and repeats the motion, setting off yet another alarm. That accomplished, he runs through the backyards, counting houses until he gets to Grissom's, the inky blackness hiding his movement and the car alarms covering his footsteps. Walking up to the door, Joey looks around, and seeing no one, quickly picks the lock, gaining access to the home, and Sara. 


	28. Chapter 28

Title: Fear  
  
Author: CSIphile/Stepf  
  
Notes: *sniffle* *sob*.tis the end my friends, the last chapter in the epic known as Fear. Thank you for hanging in with me, it's been a long journey, but I hope one that you enjoyed, cause I did. As a bonus, depending on your take, of hanging around this long I will let y'all in on a secret, I am currently writing the sequel to this bad boy, and its turning out longer than the original. Hopefully I'll start posting before the first of the year if all goes well. Look out for it, the title."When it All Comes Crashing Down". If only I could figure out a way to get paid for 47 (so far, between both fics) chapters of this epic, life would be good. (Kidding, only kidding lawyer type people. I make zero dollars on this and never want to..ever. Cause that would be wrong.)  
  
Again, thank you to those who reviewed and even those who didn't but read and enjoyed. Special thanks to my betas who rock hard, yo. Without them I would be the worst writer on planet Earth. You girls are the best.smooches.  
  
  
  
Dropping his bag quietly and pulling out the roll of tape he found across the street, Joey listens for any noise that the occupant is awake. Noting that all the lights are off, he assumes that Sara is sleeping and quietly makes his way through the house, finally finding the bedroom. Slowly opening the door, he cringes when the old hinges squeak and Sara rolls over. Freezing momentarily, he waits to see if she notices him; he can't have that yet, he is in control, not her. After standing still for several seconds, Joey finally makes tentative movements toward the bed, pausing slightly with each step to see if she wakens.  
  
Finally Joey stands at the side of the bed, admiring her, but at the same time becoming angry with her; she is in another man's house with no regard for his feelings. He looks at her sleeping form; in her sleep she has , kicked off the covers, leaving him a clear view of her almost naked body. She is more beautiful than he even remembers, despite the bruised body and a cast wrapped around her arm. Seeing the bandage through her white t- shirt, Joey is conflicted, he loves her like no other, and she is meant to be his. But at the same time he feels guilt, remorse for hurting her. Wrestling with his thoughts, he reminds himself what she has done to deserve his anger; she ignored him, had him arrested, and went on vacation with another man. Narrowing his eyes at the brunette, he kneels next to the bed, placing his face even with hers. Reaching out, he carefully touches her bruised face, and speaks quietly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sara. This has to be done. You can't be with anyone else, and since you don't want to be with me, there's only one solution. You will be no one's, ever." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I Love you.goodbye."  
  
Carefully he sits on the bed next to her, appreciating her beauty, but knowing what he must do to keep her pure, and forever his. Moving to straddle her body at the waist, he is surprised when she still doesn't wake. He reaches over for a pillow next to her and that's when Sara murmurs something, moving as she does.  
  
She is aware of someone straddling her lightly, whoever it is not quite putting all their weight on her; she can feel them when she tries to roll over. Had it been that long since Grissom left? It didn't seem like it, though the drugs had a made her head fuzzy and confused. Besides, Grissom wouldn't sit on her like that, he knows better. Saying his name, Sara shakes the cobwebs from her head. When she gets no response she says his name again, louder.  
  
"Grissom?" When a hand reaches out and touches her shoulder, she knows instantly that it's not Grissom. The hand is rougher, and too small, defiantly not him. Snapping her eyes open, Sara sees Joey leaning over her. Before she can scream, one hand clamps over her mouth, while the other pushes down on her right shoulder. Somehow he had pinned her arms to her sides, holding them firmly with his knees.  
  
"No, not Grissom, Sara. What do you see in him? I don't understand, he is old enough to be your father, and come on, not all that attractive. Well, no matter, you won't be seeing him anymore." He watches as her eyes become as large as saucers, obviously thinking he had done something to Grissom. "He's fine Sara; it's you I would be more concerned about."  
  
Leaning into her, he places his lips right by her ear, his breath sending a shiver of terror through her body. "I love you Sara, if you had just seen that, and returned my love, none of this would be happening."  
  
Sara struggles against his grip, trying to remember in her fuzzy brain where she had left her gun. She is sure that only one of them is getting out of this alive, she preferred it if it was her. `Think Sara, gun. Where? Where? The living room, Grissom's desk,' she finally recalls. But now her problem is how to get there. He is almost completely sitting on her abdomen now, her arms still trapped at her sides. She is defenseless and terrified. Trying to move her body just above the waist, all she gets is a shooting pain in her chest.  
  
He watches her struggle uselessly against his stronger grip and reaches with the hand holding her shoulder to get the tape he brought. She can't make noise now, which would alert the neighbors.  
  
Sara gets her chance when he foolishly lets go of her one shoulder and as he leans over, giving her enough room to wiggle her right arm out of its holding place. Swiftly bringing up her arm, she makes hard contact with his ribs with the heavy cast. He pulls back surprised, removing his hand from her mouth. Unfortunately all she can get out is a small scream, and it's unlikely the neighbors even heard her. Sara grabs another chance as he recovers and punches him hard in the solar plexus, which is enough to make him tilt to one side, giving her the opportunity to pull herself out from under him. Every motion causes pain to shoot though her chest, but Sara ignores the throbbing, her survival instinct taking over. Balancing on the edge of the bed, Sara just gets her feet out from under him as he recovers enough to grab at her, causing her to lose her tentative hold on balance, and fall back onto the floor, causing some serious pain in her broken arm, which takes the brunt of the fall.  
  
Recovering quickly, she scrambles backwards on her hands and feet, not unlike a crab. Sara is almost to the open bedroom door when he gets off the bed and comes after her with frightening speed. She gets off the floor quickly and turns, starting to run into the living room when she feels a hand on her back, shoving her down onto the hardwood floor. Still not turning around, Sara manages to get on her hands and knees, scrambling toward Grissom's desk and her only means of protection. She gets halfway there when a boot comes down on her back, pinning her to the floor, a cry of agony emanating from her vocal cords.  
  
"Dammit, Sara. Stop fighting me. This would be so much easier on both of us." Slowly lifting his boot, he grabs her upper arm, pulling her across the floor. Sara struggling as best she can against his stronger grip. Sitting her up against the wall farthest from her destination he kneels in front of her, to her left side, and looks in her eyes. So beautiful, even when angry, this is how he will remember her. Removing his eyes from her face, he glances down at her slim form, a small spot of blood starting to form on her shirt over the bandage. Distracted by the dark red spot that increases in size as he watches, he nearly misses the fist she swings at his face. Catching in at the last second, he makes a clucking noise and looks in her eyes. "Now, now Sara. How many times do you think you can do that without me catching on? Huh? I saw that one coming."  
  
Sara sees rage, anger and love in his eyes, a contradiction she doesn't understand. She pushes her back into the wall, trying to get as far away as she can as his calloused hand makes contact with her inner thigh. Joey smiles when he finally touches her, her skin so smooth, just what he expected. Running his hand up her bare leg, stopping at the edge of her underwear, Sara is frozen into place, all her training and instinct pushed into the back of her mind with the sudden terror of potentially being raped. Shuddering, Sara tries to scream; only a small squeak can be heard.  
  
Suddenly his hand snaps up, grabbing her around the throat and squeezing hard, his other hand holding onto her cast so she can't hit him again. She can feel the last breath exit her body in a rush, she know she has maybe two or three minutes before the oxygen in her lungs is depleted, causing her suffocate, the dream from so long ago coming back to her. Utter terror flows through her, and bringing up her free arm, she scratches at his hand, feeling the skin come off under her nails. `Well at least this way there will be no doubt who killed me,' she thinks.  
  
Trying desperately to get air into her screaming lungs, Sara digs her short nails into his skin, drawing blood. When that fails to work, she grabs at his hair, pulling out several strands, anything to cause him the kind of pain she is in. The sensation in her lungs is nothing short of excruciating, and she can now feel blood slowly trickling down her stomach, probably from pulled stitches. Joey just continues to stare at her, a sadistic grin permanently etched on his face. As her peripheral vision starts to get blurry, Sara makes one last ditch attempt to escape. Using what little energy she has left, she pulls up one knee, bringing it as hard as she can into Joeys groin area. While not making contact, it's enough to push him off balance, and he lets go of her throat and arm. Sara takes in a much needed breath, and again brings her cast-covered arm around, this time making full on contact with his head. Joey cries out, and falls the rest of the way, hitting the floor with a loud thump. Sara scrambles up onto her feet, running full speed at the desk, coming to a sliding stop in front of it. Pulling open the desk drawer, she grabs her gun and swings around, surprised when Joey is no longer in the position he was when she got up. Moving slowly into the kitchen, holding the gun in her left hand and breathing hard, she finds him bent over, looking for a knife in the rack.  
  
When she removes the safety, the noise causes him to turn to her, a look of astonishment on his face. He is the scared one now.  
  
"Sara, I love you. Don't you see? This was all done in love."  
  
Keeping her gun trained on the man who turned her life into a living nightmare, she resists the urge to pull the trigger. Even as angry and scared as she is, Sara can't bring herself to take this man's life when she has the upper hand now. Despite Nick spending the next three weeks in a hospital bed, despite the pain that he has caused both of them, the physical manifestation of which she can now feel coursing through her body, she can't do it. Sara's finger hovers over the trigger, her head a confusing swirl of thoughts and potential actions. `Would killing this man in cold blood really be the answer?' she wonders.  
  
Grissom pulls up to his neighborhood, surprised to find a unit parked on the street before his. The red and blue lights flashing in the night is ominous, and his stomach sinks. Stopping slowly, the worst coming to mind, he sees the officers assigned to protect Sara. Rolling down the window he hollers at one of them.  
  
"Davis! What's going on?"  
  
The officer approaches his window. "Some kid broke out two car windows. Made quite a racket."  
  
Getting a bad feeling, he glances at his house. "Did anyone check on Sara?"  
  
"No, all's been quiet since you left."  
  
Grissom's brain goes into overdrive, his instincts telling him something is very wrong here. Before he can say anything though, two distinct gunshots are heard from the direction of his townhouse.  
  
"You won't shoot me Sara. Besides, how great of a shot can you be with the wrong hand?" Slowly he advances on her, Joey can see the confusion in her face, and figures he still has control.  
  
"Make one more move and I won't hesitate." Her voice is raspy, but he can tell from her tone she is deadly serious.  
  
"Sara, we are meant to be together, you and me. Can't you feel it? The pull between us, like some cosmic force that brought me to that crime scene to see you. It was fate, Sara."  
  
"Fate?" She snorts. "I don't think so. You're crazy, you know that? Certifiable. And now you will spend a good long time locked up."  
  
"Are you denying that you feel something between us?" Again he takes a step forward; Sara keeps the gun trained on him and without thinking makes the passive move of taking a step back. Joey smiles inside; he does still have a bit of control over her, maybe enough  
  
to finish this.  
  
"Yes. All I feel from you is pain." Raising her right hand she indicates her cast and then covers her abdomen with her fingers. "You did this. Why would I want anything to do with you?"  
  
"I'm sorry Sara; I needed to make you see." Taking another small step forward, Joey is almost in arm's reach of her.  
  
"Don't move," she hisses. Every breath is becoming more and more painful, and the throbbing in her broken arm is making her nauseous and dizzy. Sara can feel the slow trickle of blood down her abdomen increase in volume, she wants to look down, but taking her attention off Joey is not an option. Seeing the phone behind him, she instructs Joey to stand against the counter and makes her way around the island, her eyes and gun never leaving his form.  
  
He watches as she moves around the counter, going for the phone and help. He can't allow that and waits for an opportunity. As she reaches the end of the island, he makes his move, she briefly glances away from him to gauge how much farther she has to go and he jumps at the chance.  
  
Sara turns back from looking at the phone and is surprised to find him moving toward her. Without thinking Sara pulls off a shot and then another in quick succession, hitting her target with accuracy.  
  
Grissom quickly accelerates around the corner, with Davis running across the lawns to his townhouse. Coming to a screeching halt in his driveway, he jumps out of the Tahoe, in his haste leaving the door open, and runs to the porch. His nerves make him fumble with the keys; he can't seem to find the one he wants. `Dammit Grissom, hurry your ass up, its Sara.' Finally he gets the right one in the lock and swings open the door, Davis right behind him, both of them with guns drawn. Entering the house with some caution, Grissom figures all the noise he made at the door would have alerted someone to their presence.  
  
"Sara?" He calls out, unable to keep his voice from shaking. Getting no response, and seeing no one, he moves into the living room, dismayed to see small drops of blood on his floor from the far wall to the desk. "Sara?" he calls again and follows the trail into the kitchen.  
  
"Jesus, Sara," he says when he comes around the island. Harrington is laying facedown, a pool of blood starting to form under him; Grissom can just see the edges. Sara is sitting on the floor, her gun lying next to her, gaze fixated on the body on the floor, something resembling relief on her face. As Grissom kneels in front of her and holsters his firearm. Davis walks to Harrington, carefully checking his pulse and nodding at Grissom.  
  
Grissom can hear Davis calling for two ambulances and back up on his radio as he gives Sara a once over. She is having trouble breathing, with her left hand covering her abdomen and the other sitting by her side, the previously white cast now has a sickly pink tint.  
  
"Sara?" he says again and carefully moves her hand off her stomach, concerned to find her shirt soaked in blood. He can now hear the ambulance in the background as more officers enter the house and speak with Davis. When he again gets no response from her, Grissom looks into her eyes; she is somewhere else, not focused on the here and now, not that he can blame her.  
  
Finally the brunette focuses on him. "I killed him, didn't I? Oh god, I had to, he came after me."  
  
"No Sara, he's alive."  
  
"I probably need to give a statement. I have his DNA under my fingernails and I pulled hair, that's probably in the living room somewhere. Plus you might want to check my back for a footprint." Her voice is firm, reverting into CSI mode, she knows what happens next.  
  
"Not right now, you need to go to the hospital and then Brass can take your statement." He is equally firm with her, knowing the only way she could have a footprint on her back and cringes. She nods, resting her head against the wall.  
  
As the EMS workers enter, Grissom is forced out of the way so they can asses her. After speaking with her for several minutes, the younger of the two workers helps Sara up onto a stretcher rolling her outside to the waiting ambulance and another hospital visit. Grissom watches them walk out, and follows closely behind while calling Brass, not caring what happens to the man lying bleeding on his kitchen floor. It's finally over.  
  
  
  
**St John's Hospital, Three Days Later**  
  
"You ready?" A voice asks her from the doorway.  
  
Turing, Sara smiles widely at the figure. "Oh yeah, two hospital visits in under a week is enough for my lifetime."  
  
Grissom enters the room and picks up the bag as she closes it. "Mine too. Mine too." He leans down and kisses her lightly, one finger tracing her jaw line.  
  
"You were very lucky, Sara. Besides fracturing your already broken arm, re- breaking a rib and breaking a new one, and pulling all your stitches you got off easy. Could have been worse."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Believe me, I know. Can we stop and see Nicky? I hear he is out of ICU now." She gives him that Sara smile and he has no choice but to agree with her.  
  
"Sure, but then straight home and rest for you." He guides her out the door and to the elevator bank, pressing down.  
  
"Yes sir." She responds military style and smiles again. Grissom is thrilled to see her almost back to being his Sara again, but he can still see the darkness hiding in her eyes. You just don't shake off something like this in a week, it takes time and patience and someone to lean on. He is determined to be that someone for her.  
  
Entering Nick's room, Sara is relived to see him sitting up and conversing with Warrick. She hasn't seen him since the day she was admitted the second time, the nurses wanted her to stay put, a tough thing for Sara to do with him only one floor under her. She had spoken to him several times, but seeing him in person is what she needs. Walking to his bedside, Sara bends over carefully and hugs him, mindful of both their internal injuries.  
  
"Hey Sar. You are looking much better since I saw you last." He smiles at the woman now holding his hand. She did, some of her face bruises have faded since only three days ago, additionally, he can see more of the Sara he remembers in her eyes and body language.  
  
"Thanks, you too. You'll be out of here in no time at this rate."  
  
"I hope so. I hear you had to get a new cast, so does that mean I have to sign it again?"  
  
"You know it. Might as well do it now so Warrick can finally get his turn."  
  
Finding a marker on the table next to him, Sara hands it to him and doesn't watch as again he writes on her cast. Sara is beginning to wonder what is taking so long when suddenly he yelps.  
  
"Done!" he announces with flourish and caps the pen, handing it to Warrick.  
  
Scrunching her nose, Sara looks at the black markings and laughs. The inscription in Nicks handwriting reads, `Remind me not to get in front of the Sara Sidle Iron Fist, it's near deadly.' Underneath that is a smaller message, `Love you and take care. You deserve some happiness, Nick.'  
  
"Thanks Nick, I'll try to remind you the next time I feel the need to hit someone. And thank you. You do too."  
  
"I'd appreciate that. I think I have enough problems right now. You're welcome, I mean it."  
  
At that Catherine enters the room, surprised to see Grissom and Sara there. "Hey guys. You out of here Sara?"  
  
"Yes, for the LAST time, I am not coming back, ever."  
  
Catherine smiles at her and looks at the cast, laughing outright. "Nice Nicky."  
  
"What?"  
  
Grissom watches as they start to return to what they were, a small family. Catching Sara's look over Cat's head, he smiles and mouths `Love you,' to her. She responds in kind before being pulled back into the conversation and Warrick takes hold of the pen, determined this time to mark her arm. They were going to be all right, all of them.  
  
  
  
**Nov 10th, Eight Weeks Later**  
  
"Joey Harrington you are hereby sentenced to not less than three years and not more than 7 years at the Las Vegas Correctional Psychiatric Center. You will be re-evaluated after three years to determine if further incarceration is needed. Bailiff, escort the prisoner."  
  
Fin~  
  
Thank you and see you again soon. 


End file.
